theytookovermylife



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    There's a lot of screaming going on inside the first house Stiles visits. He isn't really worried, because it sounds like kids, but then the door opens and hi, says his dick, because the dude in front of him is gorgeous, built like a god with a face like thunder. Stiles wants to lick that solid jaw line. Hold the fuck on, says his cop brain, because the dude's got kids hanging all over him; one's on his back, skinny legs looped around his waist, and another two hanging off one arm, toes barely brushing the ground. There's a tubby toddler clinging to his leg like a koala, and he's got a baby tucked into the crook of the one arm that doesn’t have kids hanging off it. Stiles' mouth drops open.

    "How many of those kids did you kidnap?" he asks before he can wrangle his brain into submission.

    The man gives him a look that says what the fuck is wrong with you and snaps, "You think I'd subject myself to this on purpose?"

    "Oooh," says one of the kids hanging off his arm. "I'm telling Mom."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    15610
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    04 Nov 2017

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    “Friends with benefits,” Derek stated. “I just happen to be in a position to provide a few more benefits than your usual hook ups.”

    ***

    Derek was an Alpha with a pack and a multi-billion dollar company to take care of. Stiles was a college kid with assignments and student debt to worry about. Neither of them were looking a serious relationship. A one night stand turned into an easy no-strings-attached arrangement. Although nothing is ever as easy or as simple as it first seems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,564
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    177
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    5194
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    11 Sep 2017

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    Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There's just no way Derek Hale is human.
    ***
    “I was wondering if you're even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it's ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It's unfair for us. I mean, it's obvious you work out, and I don't, so that could be why, but like...I was just wondering if you were human, that's all.”

    “Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

    “Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can't threaten him with shit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,066
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    599
    Kudos:
    5506
    Bookmarks:
    1572

    07 Sep 2017

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    Scott liked to call it the Great Pack Divide of 2012.

    Derek liked to call Scott an idiot.

    (Or the one where Derek kidnaps Stiles to teach Scott a lesson, and ends up learning a few things himself)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    158,626
    Chapters:
    31/31
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    2143
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    06 Sep 2017

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    Eighth year at Hogwarts is going to be boring. That's what Draco Malfoy thinks when the Wizengamot makes attendance a condition of his pardon. After all, after letting Death Eaters into the school, failing to kill his headmaster, and being forced to serve a homicidal madman, how could finishing up his education *possibly* be interesting?

    Answer: a coveted Transfigurations advanced study position, Minerva Mcgonagall's surprising fondness for him, Thestrals, tea with Hagrid, tutoring Harry Potter, Granger and Weasley's excessive PDA, and the perplexing nature of sleight-of-hand double-dates with Harry, Luna, and Ginny. And then, of course, there's righteously indignant (if misinformed) Weasley, Draco's own insecurities and flair for dramatics, and a long-suffering Kingsley Shacklebolt.

    If I can work in tie-switching and Great Hall relationship reveal I will, because those are some of my very favorite tropes.
    UPDATE: Ha! Did it. Tie-switching and Great Hall relationship reveal coming up in chapter 8 ;-)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,600
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
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    15 May 2017