softjohn



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Thorin has more of a relationship with the garbage man than he has with Bilbo. Well… up until now, anyway. Because now they’re in a “relationship” and Bilbo is going to be the best fake boyfriend in the whole world. Thorin had better check into a dentist soon because Bilbo’s going to make sure he gets cavities from all the sweetness. Bilbo’s going to give him so much sickening fake-boyfriend sugar that he’ll get diabetes.
    Bilbo is, of course, very passionate about giving a good performance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,200
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    1144
    Bookmarks:
    247
    Hits:
    12353

    02 Mar 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    After Bilbo rescues Thorin, Thorin starts respecting him, but there's a big difference between respecting someone and liking them. What do you say to someone you have nothing in common with? If you are Thorin and Bilbo, you say all of the wrong things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,304
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    1632
    Bookmarks:
    527
    Hits:
    20166

    01 Mar 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The thing Gandalf neglected to mention when he assured Thorin Oakenshield and Company that Bilbo Baggins of Bag End would be the perfect thief for their mission was this:

    A Hobbit wouldn't be able to tell a diamond from a pearl, or from an Arkenstone - no matter how hard they try.

    This leads to some confusion, on Bilbos part. And some frustration, again on Bilbos part.

     

    (What sort of a description was 'heart of the mountain', anyway? A useless one, that's what.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,456
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    107
    Kudos:
    3829
    Bookmarks:
    1364
    Hits:
    25978

    01 Mar 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Thorin’s first holiday in decades was going great: he was stuck in the Shire instead of relaxing in the Blue Mountains, his map was clearly faulty, and now there was an impertinent hobbit telling him he had gotten lost.

    He should have just stayed in Erebor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,615
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    492
    Bookmarks:
    150
    Hits:
    4314

    01 Mar 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    After the Battle of the Five Armies, Thorin has forgiven Bilbo; but Bilbo finds he cannot forgive Thorin.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,501
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    486
    Kudos:
    2562
    Bookmarks:
    698
    Hits:
    45433

    28 Feb 2019