sarcastic_kristin



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Bilba has been a slave her entire life. All she knows of the outside world is what she sees from time to time outside the gates of Moria and the stories her mother used to tell her. Stories of a place called the Shire where her mother once lived and a placed called Erebor where, as far as she knows, her father still lives. Stories of dragons a thousand times larger, and more intelligent, than the beasts the orcs rode and of a strange concept called freedom where one was allowed to live as they wished with no one to tell them what they could, or could not do.

    The stories meant little to Bilba. The only future she had was to live, and die, as a slave as countless number had before her.

    And then the orcs dragged an injured female firedrake through the gates, her rider screaming obscenities behind her as he fought to reach her side...and everything changed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    322,702
    Chapters:
    43/43
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    2
    Comments:
    5436
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    5261
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    20 Feb 2019

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Princess Bilba Baggins understands the expectations placed upon her. She knows that, upon reaching her majority, she will be expected to enter into an arranged marriage, one that will most benefit the future stability and security of the Shire. She understands this, though it saddens her to think she will have to leave the Shire, possibly forever, when this day arrives. Still, it is her duty and obligation as a Princess and, to that end, she will accept it.

    Or, at least that's how she felt until the day she went walking and met Hobbiton's new blacksmith.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,875
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    131
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    1423
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    405
    Hits:
    14556

    17 Feb 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Bilba Baggins is a bit shy. Okay, she's a LOT shy and when Gandalf shows up and dumps an entire Company of dwarves on her she is decidedly NOT amused.......or capable of speaking to them.....particularly the dark haired one who happens to be a PRINCE.

    Thanks for that heads up, Gandalf.

    All she can think is Kili should have a warning sign on him. It could say something like:
    "Caution: Exposure to KILI could result in side effects including but not limited to -
    - Incoherent speech
    - Inability to speak at all
    - Increased clumsiness
    - Decrease in brain function
    In a few cases more serious side effects have been reported including, but not limited, to -
    - The sudden urge to run off on poorly thought out adventures
    - Delusions where one believes they are capable of stealing from Trolls and/or dragons
    In order to limit the risk of developing one or more of these side effects individuals should limit their exposure to KILI to brief bursts of staring or sidelong glances."

    Honestly, it'd only be fair.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,863
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    277
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    1722
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    625
    Hits:
    25928

    15 Feb 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Fíli lived his life by an old dwarven proverb: when a fool drops a treasure, a wise man picks it up (it sounded better in the original khuzdul).

    Bella Baggins never quite fit in the Shire. Perhaps she was made for the mountains, instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,323
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1329
    Kudos:
    7236
    Bookmarks:
    3421
    Hits:
    200048

    10 Feb 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “They’re calling about an orphaned boy,” Pepper says, her confused frown clear in her voice. “His whole family was killed in a car crash, and when they asked him if there was anyone he could stay with, he gave them your name. He says you know him.”

    Tony finally looks up, frowning a little.

    “Uh, ok,” he says, and thinks that it’s probably some random kid he signed a poster for once who’s hoping to be adopted by Iron Man. “Not likely, but whatever. Who’s the kid?”

    Pepper glances back down at her notes.

    “Harley Keener,” she says.

    Tony falls off his chair.

    [Or, how Tony Stark came to adopt Harley Keener.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,244
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    205
    Kudos:
    2038
    Bookmarks:
    567
    Hits:
    14675

    04 Feb 2019