rustypeopleskillz



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  1. Rec 43

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    Crowley finds Aziraphale in the sitting room, not in his usual chair but on the couch. He is reclined, leaning back against the armrest, one leg bent at the knee, the other stretched out. No shoes, no jacket, sleeves rolled up, book propped open on his stomach. He smiles at Crowley. He looks damn near edible.

    He looks like bait.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,008
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    323
    Bookmarks:
    43
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    21 Sep 2019

  2. Rec 70

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    And Aziraphale is realizing now, to its fullest, something he’s suspected for nearly as long as he’s known Crowley: the demon is no silver-tongued devil. He is no weaver of words, no smooth talker. It would fit in with his image, certainly— shouldn’t a man-shaped being dressed like an oilslick have speech just as dark and slippery— but there’s very little of either of them that’s as it ought to be, really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    391
    Bookmarks:
    70
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    2086

    21 Sep 2019

  3. Rec *

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    "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?"

    "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration.

    Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?"

    "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth.

    ---

    Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,913
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    200
    Kudos:
    1026
    Bookmarks:
    208
    Hits:
    7452

    17 Sep 2019

  4. Rec 31

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    Crowley turns up at the bookshop three days after their victory lunch at the Ritz. He doesn’t say anything, just slithers through the door and leans against a column as Aziraphale hedges over price points with a stubborn customer.

    “You free?”

    “I am.” With a flick of his wrist, Aziraphale flips his Open sign to Closed and bolts the door. “What did you have in mind?”

    “Thought we could go on that picnic.”

    An angel and a demon go on a drive, share a meal, and finally confront the last of the secrets between them.

    Ineffable Husbands Bingo Square Filled: Picnic

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,887
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    134
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    662

    13 Sep 2019

  5. Rec *

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    “Actually,” Aziraphale said, “I was thinking we could go to yours.”

    Crowley raised his eyebrows. Aziraphale never went to Crowley’s—and he meant never. Aziraphale hadn’t even known where Crowley lived until last night, when they’d come up with the idea to swap bodies.

    “My place?” Crowley said. “Not much there, I’m afraid.”

    “Oh, don’t worry, it has exactly what we need.”

    After the Apocalypse That Wasn't, Aziraphale knows exactly what he wants, and he wastes no time in getting it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,746
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    807
    Bookmarks:
    135
    Hits:
    6288

    12 Sep 2019