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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    A series (part fluff, part angst, mainly crack) set in the universe where Bruce is not Batman. Instead, Jim Gordon roams the streets as Ratman with his trusty pest-themed partners. Drama! Prank wars! Vengeance! Loneliness! Gender! Baby traps! The agonizing fear that you are alone in the feeling of being alone! Also, everyone is queer.

    Words:
    28,250
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    145

    18 Mar 2024

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Wally gets a babysitting gig from an old friend.
    -
    Dick crouches to be at Damian’s eye level, and his voice suddenly takes on a brisk tone, one Wally associates so strongly with being assigned patrol routes that he twitches. “Wally, this is Damian, Damian, this is Wally. Wally is one of my very best friends. He is very important to me. You aren't going to stab him. This isn’t a debate,” Dick says, when Damian raises an eyebrow, “Or a rule. You can’t physically do it. He is much faster than you.”
    “I know what his powers are,” Damian says, sounding annoyed, and also like he considers them to be a fun challenge.
    “I would like it to be a rule,” Wally volunteers.
    -
    "Who’s the last person who saw him?" Jason asks Tim. "Did you talk to D- the kid? Nightwing never does anything without talking to him, what’d he say?”
    There’s a sudden, nervous silence.
    “Hey,” Jason says, dangerously, “Where is the kid?”
    “Hm,” Tim says. “He’s- in school -,”
    “On a Saturday? In July?” Tim makes a sound like a chipmunk in a trash compactor. “Tim, did you fuckin’ forget about the baby? Do not hang up on me-”
    “Don’t real name me at work!” Tim squawks, panicked, and hangs up.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,589
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    160
    Kudos:
    1,425
    Bookmarks:
    332
    Hits:
    15,457

    18 Mar 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:

    The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.
    -
    (01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-

    (01:25) Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-

    (01:25) Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.

    (01:25) Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-

    (01:25) Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.

    (01:25) Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,531
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    206
    Kudos:
    1,697
    Bookmarks:
    632
    Hits:
    8,011

    18 Mar 2024

  4. Public Bookmark 22

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    Summary

    The clones don't have periods, somehow this ends up saving the galaxy. Or: Cody and Obi-Wan fall in love, Cody's sisters win the war.

    “You are devious,” says Kenobi, still leaning into her space, there’s a streak of dark blood in her hair.

    “You continue to be impossible,” she murmurs back, “devious is the only plan of action.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,166
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1,381

    17 Mar 2024

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Everyone's heard of the Kelvin Incident. The same can't be said for the Massacre of Tarsus IV, or even the name James T. Kirk. But for every two things that change, at least one remains the same.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,409
    Chapters:
    36/36
    Comments:
    612
    Kudos:
    3,229
    Bookmarks:
    1,046
    Hits:
    75,384

    16 Mar 2024