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  1. Tags
    Summary

    FROM THE COMEDIC DUO WHO BROUGHT YOU WELCOME TO HALE IN 2012 comes THAT BOMBED

    Derek Hale: has a nice apartment. Works as a reporter and is semi superman? Has a dog?

    Stiles Stilinski: went to college in a boring state but with a decent school. Did keg stands. Now through FBI training.

    RelenaFanel: doesn't even go here anymore

    RLNerdGirl: back from 2 year hiatus, still hasn't watched the show since season 1

     

    WARNING: contents of this fic are not to be taken seriously.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    692
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    5250
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Having asked Deaton for advice after losing his alpha power, Derek finds himself approaching a palm reader, of all things, who goes by the name of Stiles and isn’t anything like what Derek is expecting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,017
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    492
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    3007
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When Stiles said he was going to Los Angeles for a week for “PD,” Derek is pretty sure it’s the flimsiest excuse for a solo-vacation, and he feels bad having to call him back early. But there’s something in Beacon hills, something more dangerous than they’ve dealt with in a long time. Turns out, Stiles did go to professional development, to help him deal with shit in Beacon Hills, and when Derek gets a look at what he’s been doing, he’s more than a little conflicted.

    Derek manages to blink, tearing his eyes from the gun and bringing his attention to Stiles’ face. “That isn’t a gun.” His voice is rough, mouth still parched.  

    The smile that pulls at Stiles’ lips makes him frown. “No,” Stiles agrees. “That’s a Barrett M82A1 sniper rifle, which, according to my instructors, I am a natural at firing, so much so that I have been suggested, many times over the past week, to enter some kind of,” the hand on the back of Derek’s neck stops stroking as Stiles’ wrist moves, hand making a gesture of some kind, “competition for, because apparently shooting competitions are things that exist. I mean, I guess I knew that. I just didn’t realize shooting this would be a competition.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,388
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    1003
    Bookmarks:
    185
    Hits:
    9518
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Returning to Beacon Hills is a big step for Derek. He's starting his own business, rebuilding his old family home, and enjoying the feeling of being home. When he runs into the Sheriff and finds himself invited to a Stilinski family dinner, it's not nearly as strange as he would have expected, and when Stiles starts becoming a regular part of his new life, it only feels natural.

     

    The first thing Derek notices is that Stiles is taller. The second is that he’s more filled out. This shouldn’t be a surprise. Not living in Beacon Hills doesn’t stop the machine of social media, and it’s not like he hasn’t seen pictures, but it’s different in person. Stiles, now Derek’s height, maybe an inch taller, still has the same wide smile and loose-limbness about him that he did when he was in high school. Between the height and the muscles though, this Stiles wouldn’t make anyone second guess that he played lacrosse. The only thing people would second guess about this Stiles is the fact that he was always on the bench.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,784
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    1516
    Bookmarks:
    423
    Hits:
    13446
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Stiles comes back from studying abroad, he's different, and being taller than Derek is just the beginning.
     
    There’s no indication of the danger Stiles had been in. Hyper aware of Stiles’ heart, Derek thinks maybe he understands what’s unsettling him—it’s steady: an unnatural kind of steadiness, unnatural for Stiles at least. Stiles who is always so animated and pumped, washing in and out of control and never static. Stiles who can barely talk about what he had for lunch without his heart palpitating like he’s doing jumping jacks and talking at the same time. Stiles talks about danger, blood-thirsty creatures, and his heart thuds in a steady rhythm. The mellow tempo of a steady drum. “You could have called,” is what Derek says, instead of all the things he’s thinking. He can barely convince himself he’s not imagining it, he’s not going to be putting it to voice any time soon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    487
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    4725
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “I sent you a Christmas card that got sent back to me. Did you get a new apartment?” his dad wonders. The question is all suspicion and little anything else.

    A flicker of an idea sparks. It’s not nearly formed well enough for him to say, “Yeah, actually,” and when he follows that with, “I moved in with someone,” he wants to punch himself in the face. He’s living with someone?!

    “You’re living with someone?” It’s the same voice and tone as the one in Stiles’ head, just thirty years older.

    Two things keep Stiles from bashing his face onto the table: there’s a steaming cup of coffee in the way and, more importantly, his dad will definitely hear. Someone passes by in front of him and a semi-familiar book cover catches his eye. “Derek Hale,” he muses, and stops. No. That wasn’t meant to be out loud.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,095
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    6701
    Bookmarks:
    1924
    Hits:
    85407
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Six months after graduating from UCLA Stiles finds himself working behind the counter of Morning Delight, an adult store in Burbank, with his best friend Scott. When Scott gets "found," Stiles finds himself alone behind the counter of Morning Delight when renown porn star Derek Hale wanders in one morning.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,902
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    307
    Kudos:
    1934
    Bookmarks:
    543
    Hits:
    47596
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Derek works the Hale sibling charity gift wrapping table at the mall. Stiles is one of Santa's elves. After two weeks of too many unpleasantly wrapped gifts leaving Derek's hands, his sisters have had enough. Talk to the elf, or else.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,931
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    845
    Bookmarks:
    94
    Hits:
    6834
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It’s typical that the Sheriff’s department helps with putting up the Christmas lights around Beacon Hills, and it’s also typical that Sheriff Stilinski does not, in any way, facet, or form, ever let his son partake in the event. In Stiles’ younger years, it was because he knew nothing good would come of it. In Stiles’ college years, it’s because he knows nothing good will come of it.

    Derek thinks that, maybe, perhaps, in some small way, it would have been nice if the Sheriff had let him know this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,286
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    729
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    6170
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The one in which, when Scott and Isaac die in a car accident, their opposites-don't-attract best friends, Stiles and Derek get the surprise of a lifetime when they're told that they've just become the legal guardians of six month old Lilly Lahey-McCall.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,528
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    232
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    3043
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The one in which the Hales were once the most prominent family in New York, brought down by the psychotic actions of the oldest daughter of the Argent family who manipulated her way far enough into the family to light their home on fire--single-handedly nearly extinguishing the Hales completely. Now the only thing Derek Hale will find himself in charge of is scheduling the shifts of his bartenders and chefs, the only violence he sees is kicking out the too-drunk riffraff that need booting, and the closest thing he has to a friend is a steady customer named Stiles.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    321
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    4037
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Stiles starts sending anonymous letters to his grumpy neighbour, Derek Hale, to brighten his day. So what if he had to make up a fake letter writing company to just send Derek some good cheer. That's just a creative writing license.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,305
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    838
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    9509
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Derek comes into the gym to learn how to rock climb, or, maybe, stalk his summer intern, Scott, to persuade him into full time employment. Scott pawns him off on Stiles.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,281
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    620
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    7544
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After being steamrolled by some rough and vindictive career competition, Derek is finally getting back on his feet when he and his sister purchase Hale's Hardwood, their very own hardwood flooring shop. To Derek's dismay, some eccentric guy, who goes by Stiles and has a buzz that makes him look ridiculous and far younger than he has to be, opens up a tile shop right across the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    1678
    Bookmarks:
    395
    Hits:
    30515
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Uncle Stiles is the best uncle ever. If there was an award for Best Uncle of All Time, Uncle Stiles would win it. I would vote for him, and so would all my friends, and he would totally win, because, not only does he let me play with glitter (really, that’s a big deal, I don’t want you to forget that), but he’s taking me to see Santa. Not the santa at the smelly, crowded, outside Farmer’s Market that Mommy and Daddy took me to on the weekend, but the real Santa, the one in the city, at the mall.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,176
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    1676
    Bookmarks:
    268
    Hits:
    20519
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Derek is not being creepy when he stops by Stiles' cabin to check in on him at four a.m. He’s just making sure the grounds' victim hasn’t wandered away or been eaten by mountain lions, which he’s doing because Stiles doesn’t actually know what’s happening--or, at least, going to happen--and there was a report of a mountain lion sighting back in August. Really, it’s a safety thing. That’s all.

     

    A Welcome to Hale Prequel

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,869
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    2148
    Bookmarks:
    240
    Hits:
    38128
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Derek has been enjoying the holidays and looking forward to everybody making their way home from college for Christmas break. Particularly, he's been looking forward to seeing Stiles, who missed coming home for Thanksgiving.

    So seeing Stiles a little early is fantastic. Smelling the sharp chemical sting of Sharpie on Stiles isn't all that pleasant, but it's no big deal. Noticing Stiles trying his utmost to hide what's been drawn on him, however, piques Derek's interest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,784
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    1971
    Bookmarks:
    316
    Hits:
    28620
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Derek likes to spend his downtime between book contracts doing something calming, relaxing, and just for him. Unfortunately, this holiday season his sister has other things in mind, which is how he finds himself working in the women's department at Macy's. He might, just a little bit (or maybe a lot), want to kill himself. Or Laura.

    The one reprieve he gets is Stiles, the only customer who knows exactly what he wants each and every time he pops in, complete with item number and size. Derek may or may not be developing a crush on him. So it's too bad all Stiles buys are ridiculously expensive things that are, most likely, for his extremely lucky girlfriend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,328
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    2627
    Bookmarks:
    429
    Hits:
    34048
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Moments later an engine rumbles to life and Stiles is gone, getting shipped off to Idaho, to some twenty-eight day Wilderness Program therapy meant to fix angry, defiant, rebellious, manipulative, out-of-control teenagers. Stiles doesn't belong there, but he hadn't told any of them, hadn't warned them of the repercussions if he kept running around at all hours of the night, kept coming home bruised and scraped up with bright, blown-wide eyes—kept risking his life and saving others and, for the first time, killed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,797
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    5491
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The one in which there is a storm and Stiles gets an unexpected house guest.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,414
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    568
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    8016

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