philona



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    In the aftermath of Osial, Zhongli’s many suitors press their luck in courting the ever unattainable Wangsheng-tang consultant. Weeks of Zhongli's senseless pining later, Hu Tao, in a burst of desperate creativity, suggests the retired Archon find himself the best kind of deterrent for all his would-be lovers: a certain Harbinger with a violent reputation matched only by his devilish charm.

    By the grace of Celestia, Zhongli spots the curve of disapproval in the tilt of Childe's frown, rephrases more clearly, "There is no other person I would rather entrust this to nor wish to engage with. If Zhongli must be ruined, it can only be by Childe's hand."

    What an interesting choice of words.

    Alt. Zhongli asks Childe to pose as his inamorato, and Childe milks the opportunity for everything it is worth.

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    09 Mar 2024

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    By his second night in the Yiling Burial Mounds with the Wen Remnants, Wei Wuxian knows he has to do something drastic to make sure the people he's responsible for now not only survive, but thrive.

    And since people already condemn the Yiling Patriarch for starting his own sect, well. It might be the way to go.

    Series
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    19/19
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    22 Feb 2024

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  3. Public Bookmark 97

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    Gil wakes up chained to a chair in Castle Heterodyne.

    That's bad.

    But he's been brought there to have dinner with the Lady Heterodyne, who is smart and pretty and interesting.

    That's good.

    He's been brought there by Saturnus Heterodyne, because he's under the impression that Gil is the biological son of Petrus Teuful, and thus an excellent potential suitor for his beloved granddaughter.

    That's bad.

    But Agatha is wonderful, and Saturnus promises to keep Gil's "true parentage" a secret. If Gil is lucky, he might get out of this with a girlfriend, and without getting fed to one of the castle's deathtraps.

    Klaus would just like people to not kidnap his son, thank you very much.

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    3/3
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    15 Feb 2024

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    Ah. The Asshole Dog is loose again. Lan Zhan knows that it is not the dog’s fault for being an asshole, but The Asshole Dog is the reason Lan Zhan had a fence put in at a significant personal expense, because the alternative was allowing his garden to be destroyed and for Bunny to be menaced on her leashed outdoor adventures. Unacceptable. The Most Beautiful Man in the World cringes at the barking, scooting further away from the door through a sea of a dozen broken eggs and leaving a yolky trail in his wake.

    “Fuck,” he whimpers, curling into a ball, both hands wrapped around the back of his neck as if to—as if to protect himself, Lan Zhan realizes. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, please—” The Most Beautiful Man in the World begs, voice ragged. He’s definitely hyperventilating now, from what Lan Zhan can tell between the audible sobs. There’s another bark from outside, and The Most Beautiful Man in the World flinches bodily, making a terrified sound that Lan Zhan feels behind his ribs.

    Or: A meet ugly, a dog, and the beginning of something wonderful.

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    14/14
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    25 Jan 2024

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    As a final stand in a war they never stood a chance of winning, Uzumaki Naruto chooses to use a forbidden blood seal to rip through the fabric of space and time itself rather than admit defeat. He has never been good at accepting his fate, and if bending reality with his own two hands is what it takes, then that’s just what Naruto will do.

    The rest of the world is just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

    [OR]

    “A time travel seal,” Sakura says numbly, staring at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw once she finally comprehends the excited tirade he has just finished throwing at her.

    “A time travel seal,” Naruto confirms, grinning with a mouth full of teeth, eyes manic.

    Sasuke sighs, immediately giving up on trying to make sense of anything that comes out of Naruto’s mouth. “Of-fucking-course.”

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    22 Jan 2024

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