officiumdefunctorum



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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    Muggle Immersion co-Professor Harry Potter spends his days hanging with his son, reading to his "dog," teaching magical kids about the internet with his cousin Dudley, and irritating Snape’s portrait. He’s understandably annoyed when his cosy life is interrupted by the Headmistress hiring on Draco Malfoy to be Hogwarts’ new Ancient Magical Cultures and Spellcasting professor. But then the explosion happens, and it turns out they'll all need Malfoy's knowledge if they want the magical world to survive.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,308
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    498
    Kudos:
    887
    Bookmarks:
    297
    Hits:
    16449

    13 Nov 2018

  2. Rec *

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    Things Eddie Brock flirts with on a regular basis: death, insanity, his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, and also the alien symbiote that lives inside his body. Not bad for a loser with no game, really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,182
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    367
    Kudos:
    1408
    Bookmarks:
    327
    Hits:
    8613

    31 Oct 2018

  3. Rec *

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    After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems. Unfortunately for him, Potter appears to be one of those problems. And that's not even addressing the fact that Potter's got serious issues of his own, which Draco realises as he's forced to share an Eighth Year dormitory room and several classes with the Gryffindor Git. If only they can make it through the year without killing each other, it should be all right, shouldn't it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    164,523
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    741
    Kudos:
    3283
    Bookmarks:
    1039
    Hits:
    51320

    26 Oct 2018

  4. Rec 99

    Words:
    41,383
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    99

    16 Sep 2018

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    “What the actual f*@k,” Fury glared incredulously, “are monkey’s doing here?”

    “They’re marmosets, Sir,” Hill corrected flatly as Tony looked between them all with glee.

    “They’re also with us,” Clint stated, not amused and clearly not giving two shits about anyone’s actual opinion of the matter as he stood there with a marmoset on his shoulder, and Natasha Romanov and the Winter Soldier backing him up.

    or: SHIELD handles things badly after Loki, and Clint doesn't take it well. Neither does Natasha.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,736
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    164
    Kudos:
    587
    Bookmarks:
    136
    Hits:
    4306

    07 Sep 2018