1 - 20 of 31 Works by nekosmuse

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently (as he's taken to calling himself) has spent most of his life in Blackwing custody. In that time absolutely nothing of any interest has happened. Instead, a good deal of not-very-good or possibly even very-bad things have happened. These mostly involved a number of people in white coats poking and prodding him while making him guess at numbers. Outside of these unwanted visitors, the vast majority of Dirk's time is spent alone. And then one day a technician leads Dirk into a room where a boy around his age sits behind a table, looking sullen and perhaps a little nervous. Dirk likes him immediately.

    Alternate Meeting AU, in which 21 year old Dirk meets 20 year old Todd while still in Blackwing custody.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,489
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    724
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Having lost his job at the Perriman Grand, Todd takes a job selling vintage vinyl to unappreciative hipsters while trying to put his life back together. Dirk Gently is a somewhat regular customer. That is, until Dirk can fix the timeline and get Todd his memories back.

    The Record Store AU that's not a Record Store AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,998
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    617
    Kudos:
    738
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    7488
  3. Tags
    Summary

    I can't believe you took me to your private shooting range on our first date. That is so punk.

    Pretty much what it says on the tin.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,021
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    535
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Todd screws up. Dirk solves it. Kind of. It's not a total disaster, anyway.

    The follow-up to How Not to Date: a How-To Guide by Dirk Gently, in which Dirk and Todd explore the boundaries of their new relationship (explicit).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    405
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    3677
  5. Tags
    Summary

    For a not-quite psychic, Dirk is surprisingly dense.

    Aka, the one where Dirk asks Todd out on a date. Kind of. Sort of. Possibly. There are two of them, anyway, and they're going somewhere, together, alone, and also Todd apparently has an ex-boyfriend so the odds are definitely in Dirk's favor. Maybe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,086
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    667
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    4881
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh! I get it," Dirk says, because he does--he is clever like that. "This is a rescue!"

    Aka the one where Todd stages a rescue, Dirk falls in love, and everyone gets their happy ending.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,278
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    379
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    3411
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The Force works in mysterious ways, which is why she can't dismiss her dreams, Han's presence too insistent for that.

    Aka the one where Leia can't stop dreaming of Han, so she sends Poe out on a mission to find him. Finn gets dragged along for the ride. Post TFA. Canon compliant. Leia/Finn povs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,516
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    155
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    952
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Several months after the events in TFA, Finn is captured and re-integrated into the First Order, his memories wiped clean...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,624
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    368
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    6104
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Sex inside the First Order works like this...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,138
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    317
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    3320
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Leia Organa thinks Poe's an idiot. Turns out, so is Finn. They're a good match. It's probably important someone in this story gets a happy ending.

    Aka the one where Poe crashes an x-wing, Finn freaks the fuck out, and Leia deals with their shit while quietly grieving twin losses.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,351
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    1649
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Relationships inside the First Order demand subtlety: after all, fraternization is strictly forbidden, the consequences... unpleasant. Life on D'Qar is different, subtlety leaving too much room for misinterpretation. All things considered, cultural misunderstandings were bound to occur.

    Aka the one where Poe is too busy pining to realize he and Finn have been dating for weeks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,064
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    753
    Bookmarks:
    164
    Hits:
    5606
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Three years after Hannibal's arrest, Will Graham stands on the front porch of his Georgian seaside home and watches twin headlights navigate the winding stretch of his lane. There is only one reason Jack Crawford would travel all this way, in the rain: Hannibal Lecter has escaped from prison, and no one knows where he is.

    Written for the Hannibal Kink Meme prompt: Will figured out Hannibal was the Chesapeake ripper, resulting Hannibal's imprisonment and a complete breakdown for Will. A few years later, Hannibal escapes from prison. Despite the risk, the first thing he does is go after his Mongoose. Give me obsessive, possessive, creepy as hell Hannibal who still wants Will for his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,721
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    514
    Kudos:
    5206
    Bookmarks:
    1371
    Hits:
    109556
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "Stop being such a damned girl, Sam. It's pretty fucking simple. I knocked Cas up and now he's got an egg or two developing off in null space and when they're ready he'll bring them home and we'll wait for them to hatch."

    Pretty much what it says on the tin. Cracky eggfic in which Cas has this shit in the bag, Dean's a helicopter daddy-to-be, and Sam is trying not to have a nervous breakdown because, Jesus fucking Christ, eggs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,933
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    636
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    8876
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Sexual identity crisis aside, Dean's man enough to admit he's in love with Castiel. Has been for years. Which would be fine, really, if he could get past the whole unrequited, unworthy business, because maybe then he could move on with his life, get back to having sex on a semi-regular basis. Aaron's the first person to pique his interest in far, far too long.

    Aka the one where Dean's pining for an angel, starting to accept that he maybe wants to fuck men, and he's got Aaron Bass' phone number burning a hole in his wallet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,060
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    1036
    Bookmarks:
    207
    Hits:
    15065
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel comes back from Purgatory a little different. Sam doesn't want to talk about it.

    Aka the one where people can see Cas' wings, Dean discovers a kink, and Sam resolves to be a good brother. Also, dust baths are had on the side of not-so-deserted highways and #angeldustbaths trends on Twitter. Utter fluffy crack.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    990
    Bookmarks:
    173
    Hits:
    19276
  16. Tags
    Summary

    So that's how it starts. Sam and Dean die on the floor in some yuppie's basement, wake up in heaven and begin life ever after. It should probably go a lot smoother than it actually does, but then, when has anything in either of their lives ever been easy?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,092
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    362
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    5550
  17. Tags
    Summary

    A government experiment has left Charles with a secondary mutation. Fortunately he knows how to make the best of a bad situation.

    The one where Charles has tentacles and Erik likes them. A lot. (aka: tentacle porn)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,421
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    316
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    7222
  18. Tags
    Summary

    We do not breach the void, his mother said, when he was a boy and new to such things.

    We do not breach the void, the Elders said, when he was an adolescent, weak though he thought himself strong.

    We do not breach the void, his father said, when he reached the flush of manhood, stout and brave and unafraid.

    But Erik cares not for their words. He's spent a lifetime staring into the void, into the startlingly blue eyes of the boy on the other side.

    We do not breach the void, the songs whisper, but Erik doesn't listen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,927
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    323
    Bookmarks:
    94
    Hits:
    13055
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It's hard not to get swept away by Charles' enthusiasm. The idea of finding others like him--of belonging--is seductive, but it is the thought of spending his life at this man's side that decides it. Crane or man, Erik cannot help but fall into Charles' orbit.

    An alternate meeting loosely based on the Japanese folktale, The Crane Wife.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,338
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    430
    Bookmarks:
    144
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Erik Lehnsherr, world renowned wilderness survivalist, alongside his husband, Charles Xavier, survive the perils of the wild in order to bring you, Two Men, One Knife, an award winning reality survival series, available only on the Discovery Channel. Follow Erik and Charles as they travel to the world's most remote locations with only the most basic of supplies. Pitted against nature, this husband-husband team struggle to survive in some of the world's harshest climates while battling the planet's fiercest predators. Can they survive the Canadian North? Find out next season, on Two Men, One Knife

    Now with additional scenes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,448
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    157
    Kudos:
    746
    Bookmarks:
    334
    Hits:
    23261

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