mustntgetmy



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag.

    Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,692
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    939
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    8057
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    24 Jan 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "thank u for my life" - yeah, that about sums it up. A genuinely delightful read, so so fun.

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Lan Wangji gets hit with a touch-starving curse. Wei Wuxian helps.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,774
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    218
    Kudos:
    3832
    Bookmarks:
    722
    Hits:
    20799

    20 Jan 2021

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Wei Wuxian drops his hand, leans one shoulder into the stunted door frame. “Oh. Okay. So. Why are you here, exactly?”

    “The Institute sent me to assist you,” the ridiculously beautiful cardigan owner says, “as your familiar.”

    Wei Wuxian laughs as if it’s a joke, although the man’s stony expression makes it clear that any humor gleaned from him is likely unintentional.

    “Well, uh, I appreciate your,” Wei Wuxian says, “you know, time, but everything is under control here, actually.”

    With impeccable timing, a tea-kettle sound keens from the kitchen, followed by a contained bang.

    Or: Wei Wuxian is a witch, Lan Wangji is sent to be his familiar. They figure it out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,569
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    335
    Kudos:
    4320
    Bookmarks:
    1544
    Hits:
    26852

    20 Jan 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,922
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    481
    Kudos:
    3653
    Bookmarks:
    1159
    Hits:
    36725

    20 Jan 2021

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Wei Wuxian has been haunting his childhood home for three years. He's perfected the fine art of scaring away all the tenants, and has grown used to living with the dying flowers in the garden as his only company.

    When Lan Wangji buys the house, Wei Wuxian fully intends to drive him off too. Except Lan Wangji is beautiful, and interesting, and captivating company - even if he supposedly doesn't know Wei Wuxian exists.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,608
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    593
    Kudos:
    9445
    Bookmarks:
    3204
    Hits:
    68366

    20 Jan 2021

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