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  1. Public Bookmark 88

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    Summary

    The world is ending and existence is meaningless. Dean and Castiel discuss whiskey, cheeseburgers and sex, and find some humanity and hope along the way. (Set during season five.)

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
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    421
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    20 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    "I think the feeling is mutual. But, uh, isn't guy-on-guy action kind of outside your moral code? I seem to remember fire raining down on some poor bastards in the Old Testament who, you know, crossed swords."

    Castiel turned and looked at him. Humanity or no humanity, Dean was still disarmed by the intensity of that stare. It was like a laser beam, the weight of it almost physical.

    "I have no gender, Dean," he said matter-of-factly. "Had Jimmy not asked me to inhabit this body when he was dying, I would still take the form of his daughter."

    It occurred to Dean again just how disconnected a creature Castiel was. The difference between the thing he was talking to and the body it lived it never seemed so obvious. Exhaustion ringed Castiel's eyes like twin shiners, dark brown smudges that stood out sharply against his cheeks, but the clarity of his gaze was the same as ever. The light in his eyes came from a deeper place than it should; the consciousness that moved his limbs was not the one hardwired to do it.

    He was just a little bit off, the place where two different people overlapped and blurred together. It was something Dean had felt about himself for a long time – ever since Hell, really. Ever since Castiel dragged him out.

    "Okay," Dean said, surprising himself. "Yeah, sure, I guess. Why not? Let's get our gender-neutral freak on. I just seriously hope Chuck Shurley isn't tuned into his angel radio right now."

    "I doubt our coupling is worthy of divine prophecy."

    "Hey," said Dean, setting the whiskey bottle on the nightstand. "Don't underestimate my ability to couple. The Gospel of Winchester has already seen a few Penthouse Forum moments."

    Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, but Dean wasn't about to explain the finer points of pornography. He was too busy trying to get his head around what he had just volunteered to do.

    He'd messed around with a few guys in his day, but this wasn't your typical booze-fueled hook-up – it was more like trying to teach a workshop on The Joy of Gay Sex to a formidable, occasionally surly soldier of God.

    "Okay," he said bracingly, and rubbed his hands together. "Technically kissing is optional in these situations, but it's usually a nice way to ease into things. So, uh. Lean your head in the opposite direction of mine and breathe through your nose, and just try to copy what I do with my mouth. And shut your eyes, because kissing with your eyes open is maybe the creepiest thing ever."

    "I understand."

    Dean glanced up at the ceiling, muttered, "Please don't smite me," and leaned in to press his mouth against Castiel's.

     

     

    Amazing – Dean shows Castiel the good things on earth.

  2. Public Bookmark 45

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    Summary

    Because he doesn’t give a rat’s ass any more, it’s easy for Dean to admit to himself that it’s all about Cas.

    Cas, who had raised him from Hell. Cas, who was always so honest, so open, so earnest and true. Cas, who he’d loved. And, yeah, he’s chilled enough that ‘love’ is a word he uses now. Because why the hell not? He’d loved that nerdy freakin’ angel, loved him like a brother, like a comrade, like a ... whatever. And he’d trusted him with his life – more importantly, he’d trusted him with Sam’s life. He’d put his faith in him and the bastard— The treacherous bastard had—

    Damn, but he’s hungry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,718
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
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    334
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    45
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    20 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Emmanuel and Dean pine

  3. Public Bookmark 28

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    Summary

    In which Dean keeps his promise. Missing moment from 5.03, Castiel POV.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,722
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    180
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    28
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    19 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    cas pov 5x03 sex

  4. Public Bookmark 15

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    Summary

    Dean explains Valentine's Day to Castiel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,279
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
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    171
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    15
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    19 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “No, of course not,” Castiel said. “We tried to present ourselves that way to humans for reasons of propaganda, but you’ve met enough of us by now to know that we’re just as moody and self-regarding as your own kind. For better or worse. We don’t have sex, so no one ever ‘falls in love’ in the way you mean. But we love each other, and we’re physically intimate. We aren’t material in the way that you are, so we can occupy the same space at the same time. We interpenetrate.”

    Dean eyed him skeptically. “Dude, ‘interpenetrate’ sounds like a fancy word for sex.”

    “You think everything sounds like a fancy word for sex,” Castiel said. “I’ve done both, and they’re not the same at all.”

    “Are your tentacles involved in all this 'interpenetration'?” Dean was smirking.

    “No, because I don’t have tentacles,” Castiel said sharply. He’d once done a rather poor job of describing his true form to Dean and, ever since, Dean had been convinced that he looked like a giant octopus. Or at least pretended to be convinced.

    Dean rolled his eyes. “Fine, your ‘prehensile limbs,’ then, or whatever you want to call them.”

    “They’re part of my body, Dean, so yes, obviously I touch people with them.” He didn’t understand why Dean thought that was so strange.

    “So, basically, there’s no sex in Heaven, but there’s tons of tentacle cuddling?” Dean asked.

    Castiel had to admit that wasn’t entirely inaccurate, minus the tentacles. “If you want to think of it like that.”

    “Yeah, well, in my Heaven we’re going to ‘interpenetrate’ the old fashioned way. I’m not cuddling with any tentacles.”

    Castiel knew that Dean was joking, mostly, and he felt certain that if Dean could see his true form he’d grow accustomed to it. But in the wake of Castiel’s attempt to usurp God’s throne, he had many enemies in Heaven. He wouldn’t be able to go home for a long time, if ever. Dean’s feelings about Castiel’s “tentacles” were a moot point, because Dean was unlikely to see them. But if Dean hadn’t figured that out yet, Castiel wasn’t going to break the news right now.

    “Okay,” he said, and focused on folding one of Dean’s flannel shirts. Dean kept folding, too, but his eyes slid over to check out Castiel’s face.

    “I mean, maybe there can be a little tentacle cuddling,” Dean said, carefully, like he thought that he'd hurt Castiel's feelings.

    Dean looked worried and terribly young, with his hair disheveled and that ridiculous pink glitter spread across his face like a second set of freckles. Castiel wanted to say a lot of things: ‘you’re beautiful,’ and ‘I love you,’ and ‘I’m sorry,’ and ‘never die.’ But all of those were things that would embarrass Dean, or else make him sad, and Castiel didn’t want to do either one. He kissed Dean, instead, harder than he’d meant to, and Dean was caught so completely by surprise that it took him a moment to wrap an arm around Castiel’s neck and kiss back.

    When Dean broke the kiss he only pulled back a couple of inches. “All right,” he said. “You win. Lots of tentacle cuddling. But none of that hentai crap.”

  5. Public Bookmark 13

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    Summary

    After the events of 11x05 “Thin Lizzie” Dean and Crowley go on a road trip together to find Amara.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,349
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
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    19
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    112
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    13
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    19 Jan 2022

    Bookmarker's Notes

    drowley roadtrip

    “Not at all.” Crowley’s face took on a nostalgic tinge. “In the good old days, all it took was using the Lord’s name in vain…or painting something just a tad on the risqué side, and voilà—you were damned for all eternity. These days, even someone with a porn collection as impressive as yours doesn’t automatically get a ticket downstairs. It’s depressing.”