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    “Sergeant Barnes?”

    “Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

    “Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

    Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

    “I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

    “Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

    Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

    “I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

    Series
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    19/19
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    09 Apr 2022

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    Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    88,722
    Chapters:
    14/14
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    2859
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    8509
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    07 Apr 2022

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    Phil has control issues, Clint has power issues, and the Avengers are a bundle of issues. It’s no wonder Maria wants nothing to do with them. Phil doesn’t seem to have a choice.

    Language:
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    8,790
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
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    05 Jan 2022

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    “Steve Rogers,” says Ninety Glorious Pounds of Righteous Wrath, sticking out his hand to shake.

    “Your knuckles’re bleeding,” says Bucky.

     

     

     

    Modern AU. A no-serum Steve Rogers meets war veteran Bucky Barnes because they accidentally punch the exact same neo-Nazi at the exact same time.

    Y'know, a meet-cute.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,793
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    28 Nov 2021

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    Tony begins to notice that things are going missing from his workshop... and discovers that his bots have been hiding a very, very big secret from him. Or rather, a very, very small one.

    In which Dummy is a kleptomaniac, You is painfully shy, Butterfingers is a programming genius, JARVIS is a sarcastic sonofabitch, Pepper takes care of Tony outside of the workshop, Bruce is Tony's boo, Thor is Tony's favourite, Clint is actually kind of smart, Steve has terrible timing, and problem-solving is never simple or easy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    15
    Comments:
    303
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    6491
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    2632
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    16 Aug 2021

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