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    I’m so excited for our alien overlords, man, he sends to Scott at half past three in the morning. It’s a school night and he’s got an exam in organic chemistry halfway across campus in about five hours, but he figures that if his professor can’t forgive him for being a little sleep deprived the morning that real aliens are due to touch down on earth, well. Stiles doesn’t want to pass a class run by someone like that.

    He’s in the middle of the X-Files episode with the creepy ass tapeworm monster that made him terrified of toilets as a kid when Scott texts back. you just want to fuck them, the text reads. He stares at it for a minute and really considers whether or not he should be offended by that. Sure, he might be a little more gung-ho about the aliens thing than your typical young adult, but he isn’t Fox Mulder. Nor is he one of the kinky fuckers buying alien dildos online. He’s just a dude who thinks that aliens are pretty fucking awesome.

    That said, he totally wouldn’t turn one down if it offered to bone him. For science.

    Series
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    English
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    8,258
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    64
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    17 Dec 2017

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Bucky's had his wifi name since forever, courtesy of his friend Clint thinking he’s funny as shit, and he's pretty much forgotten about it—until he hears the enthusiastic shout of 'PENIS!' through the walls from his new next door neighbor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,557
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    134
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    967
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    109
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  3. Public Bookmark 89

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    My own rendition of raisesomehale's post:
    “Fic where, in a fit of post-break-up, drunken depression, stiles throws together a truly pathetic love spell (really, Lydia would be so unimpressed she’d probably disband their weekly magic lessons) in an attempt to find the perfect partner.

    But, like everything else in Stiles’ life (and as proof to how much joy the universe gets pulling one over on him) everything goes horribly wrong and instead of the feathery light, rose petal path he’d been expecting to appear and lead him to his true love, a half naked man with harlequin biceps and a beard that could rival most lumber jacks appears in his minimalist studio apartment looking grumpy and endearingly confused.

    Cue Stiles’ imminent freak out that includes shoving the man in his hall closet because “Oh my god, I manifested a burly mountain man out of thin air!!”

    When really, the spell had just transported Derek from whatever secluded cabin he’d been holed up in for the last few years right into Stiles’ life.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,890
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
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    971
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    89
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    21 Aug 2017

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The key isn’t actually being confident, he repeats in his head in Lydia’s breathy voice. It’s faking the hell out of it and looking as sexy as possible while you do it. For omegas, it’s easy. There’s a natural charm to all of us that only takes seconds to engage, and barely takes practice.

    Walk into the room, he chants in his head. Own it, and look people in the eyes. Find the best looking alpha, have them buy you a drink, and the rest is easy.

    Language:
    English
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    67,631
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    263
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    1277
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    45961

    10 Jul 2017

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “A Ger—there’s a Nazi werewolf in Beacon Hills?” Stiles was yelling now, he couldn’t help it, because what the ever loving fuck was their lives. “A Nazi were—an alpha Nazi werewolf.”

    An attempt to gather up all the loose ends from season five that works...medium well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,431
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    117
    Kudos:
    1063
    Bookmarks:
    353
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    12 Apr 2017

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