incantat3m



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Darcy liked vacations. The thing about vacations, is that she got to do things she didn't get to do normally. Things like touring ancient ruins, tasting new food, hooking up with the edgy, kind of dangerous looking guy she met on the ferry to Greece. Spending the last week of her vacation in a luxury villa that she could never have afforded, ever, with the same guy is really just icing on the cake.

    The one thing that Darcy didn't count on was discovering well after the fact that their birth control measures had failed spectacularly.

    She also didn't count on meeting Steve Rogers only a couple of months later.

    Language:
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    18/18
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    23 Oct 2018

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    "Jane's cute," Clint says, shoveling yet another sloppy joe into his pie-hole. Darcy has been watching him inhale a disturbing amount of food for the last half-hour. This is why she likes eating lunch with the guys instead of why-yes-I'd-love-some-brussel-sprouts-on-the-side Sharon. They're good for her ego. She may eat like a hippo, but she'll never eat as much as Steve, Clint, or Barnes. "She's totally on my FUCK shortlist."

    All of a sudden the crystal clear sky outside cracks with the loudest thunder Darcy has ever heard in her life. The windows rattle. Everyone freezes. Darcy can practically hear everyone's assholes tighten in fear.

    Because across the commissary, Thor is looking at their table.

    And it ain't raining panties this time. Just righteous, godly anger.

    --

    The dudes finally play MARRY FUCK KILL, not-so-Avengers edition. (Because there's like ONE actual female Avenger. Thanks, SHIELD.)

    Wherein no one follows the rules, everyone still kills Tony, the Mets suck, (lots of theoretical threesomes?!), and Darcy turns Clint into a hypothetical honey badger.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,258
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    21 Oct 2018

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "Actually, you know, I get it. Rogers would be an excellent MARRY choice. You know that he'd never leave the toilet seat up, would never drink the last of the milk, and would clean the rain gutters without prompting," Darcy says. She's never really considered Steve as anything other than Captain America who is impossibly unapproachable; weirdly enough, the things she finds intimidating about him as a person oddly work for her in a domestic setting. "Ugh, plus you just KNOW Barton would be the type of fucker that would eat the last oreo and then shove the empty box back into the cupboard."

    "So what's your list then, Darcy?" Jane asks, turning back to look at the mold, which has done exactly fuck all in the last half-hour.

    "Don't rush me! I need to make an informed, calculated choice."

    Darcy looks down at her pad, then back up at Natasha. She purses her lips in thought. "You've fucked Barnes, right? How dexterous is that metal hand?"

    --

    The ladies of SHIELD play a mass game of MARRY FUCK KILL, Avengers edition.

    Wherein everyone marries Steve, kills Tony, Jane betrays science and Darcy hypothetically turns Thor into a llama.

    Series
    Language:
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    5,116
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    434
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    4567
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    1098
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    21 Oct 2018

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Darcy had heard all the warnings about going off with strange Alphas.

    Unfortunately, those warnings never really covered "strange Alphas who save you from Hydra bases."

    EDITED 11/25/17

    After 2.5 years, I am marking this story as complete and not abandoned/unfinished because there is a complete arc here. There’s still a lot to say here and there’s still a lot I had planned but this story has been my greatest triumph and my greatest failure as a fanfiction writer. After a certain point the failures weigh on me more than the triumph uplifts me.

    I still look on this as some of my best writing, definitely a story that helped me grow and made me the writer I am even today. On the flip side, it’s also been a story that has illuminated how damaging the comment structure and the desire for feedback can become.

    At some point I may post more bits and bobs of what my plans were for this universe. I will not be “gifting” this work out for other people to write continuations of it, so please don’t ask. If you have any specific questions about this, you can find me on tumblr with the same name.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,577
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    1429
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    Bookmarks:
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    21 Oct 2018

  5. Public Bookmark 91

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    It took Tony years to figure out why Peter kept avoiding certain missions, but one day... everything clicks into place.

    Peter did not like Captain America.

    How that was possible? Tony didn't know. It was a mystery though, and he was going to solve it.

    (No A:IW spoilers, also not anti-Captain America).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,184
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
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    408
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    91
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    20 Oct 2018