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  1. Rec *

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    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    1086
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    4049
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    1561
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    15 Nov 2017

  2. Rec 59

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    Merlin?” Arthur squinted at the ridiculously attractive, shirtless, twenty-something in front of him and tried to connect him with his toothy, scrawny playmate who would always fight kids twice his size on the playground. “I – I mean Emmett. Emmett Ambrose. You’re Emmett Ambrose?”

    “Fuck,” Emmett – no, it wasn’t Emmett, it was Merlin – gaped at Arthur incredulously. "Holy shit."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,565
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    552
    Bookmarks:
    59
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    3214

    26 Oct 2017

  3. Rec *

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    When someone takes and sells a shirtless photo of King Thorin II of Erebor without his knowledge or consent, advertisers grab the opportunity and run with it. So does the Internet, and now Erebor's firewall is under siege with everything from marriage proposals to the unprintable. Being a Dwarven king in the age of technology is already a job and a half, and Thorin needs help if he's going to keep from going completely mad.

    Enter Bilbo Baggins, Esquire, belligerent barrister of the Shire. He's small, he's furious, and he's here to help.

    (At least that's what Thorin hopes.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,013
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    582
    Kudos:
    711
    Bookmarks:
    189
    Hits:
    14148

    15 Sep 2017

  4. Rec 69

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    Kíli and Bilbo fall in love over tea and Iglishmêk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,606
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    2269

    13 Aug 2017

  5. Rec *

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    It's Yule time when Bilbo arrives back in the Shire- with a host of Dwarrow at his back, the sentimental lugs. Except now the assorted Aunts and Uncles have gotten quite the wrong idea in their excited interrogation, and he's stuck pretending that he's married a few of the hairy fellows.

    If he could just get through the assorted required Baggins and Took social events without outing himself as a complete fibber or drunkenly attempting to kiss Dwalin and Thorin under the mistletoe, it may just be a Yule miracle.

    Another attempt at writing a common trope fic that went completely off the rails.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    681
    Bookmarks:
    260
    Hits:
    6983

    13 Aug 2017