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  1. Public Bookmark 76

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    “I think you ought to know,” said Gandalf, “you have eight or nine dwarves courting you.” / "Now, I think I would have noticed!" In which dwarves have a very particular way of courting, Ori thinks Bilbo has a nice bottom, Thorin is an awkward puppy, and Bilbo learns that sometimes actions speak louder than words.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,690
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    548
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    76
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    25 Jan 2019

  2. Public Bookmark 84

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    Bilbo knows his soulmate is a dwarf, so he joins the Quest for Erebor. Even if he doesn't meet his soulmate along the way, at least he will help that unknown dwarf return to a well deserved home. Still, it would be nice to meet his match. Dwarves, after all, are unexpectedly attractive. Particularly their king.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,490
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    678
    Bookmarks:
    84
    Hits:
    4596

    14 Jan 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Imagine how pissed off you would be if you somehow ended up in Middle Earth in time to help, but you didn’t speak Westron. Or Sindarin. Or Khuzdul. All you have are proper nouns, and some random phrases like Mellon, and Amralime, and, oh yeah, the inscription from the One ring. because that’s going to go over well when you start spouting off long forgotten verse in the black tongue of Mordor….
    So instead of eloquently explaining yourself and saving lives and falling in love with a character of your choice, you have to chase them around like a slightly more verbose Hodor, trying to learn a language and keep the dumb bastards alive.
    ------------------
    Well, it had to happen to someone eventually, and Pissed Off is definitely the way to describe it when it happens to her. But she still tries to do her duty to the fandom and keep the Durins alive just in case it isn't a nightmare after all.
    _____
    Most frequent comment: "I never like OCs and I love this one"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    314,576
    Chapters:
    37/37
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2126
    Kudos:
    2823
    Bookmarks:
    748
    Hits:
    51256

    03 Jan 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m sorry, Sherlock, but I think what you just said is that you’ve been catfishing a murderer online, pretending to be a couple, your brother and I, and now you want us to meet him? A murderer? As a couple!” The last few words are really quite loud, and Rosie makes a startled squeak in the kitchen.

    Sherlock glares at him.

    Greg takes a deep breath. “Sorry,” he says, automatically, then – “No – no! Not – not sorry, because – of all the things, Sherlock, that you have ever done, this is undeniably the most – the most utterly – I –”

    He closes his eyes, fists clenched, and takes several deep breaths.

    “Overlooking many, many other problems with this entire scenario –” he pauses and takes another breath, “– what on Earth makes you think that, as a couple, a detective and a – a – whatever he is –” he gestures wildly at Mycroft – “would put themselves online on a dating site?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,591
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    897
    Kudos:
    1000
    Bookmarks:
    198
    Hits:
    11293

    13 Dec 2018

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    On paper, a bacon sarnie and a cup of good coffee isn’t exactly the kind of thanks one should receive for rescuing someone’s family member from an overdose; but Lestrade thinks that it’s possibly the best one he’s ever received.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,401
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    342
    Kudos:
    1216
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    13601

    28 Nov 2018

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