danimephistopholes



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    “Hey, Cas,” prompted Dean from the other end of the couch.
    “Hmm?”
    “You horny?”
    “W-what?”
    “Y’heard me.”
    “Dean,” said Cas flatly, “I’m a twenty year old gay man. I’m always horny.”
    He’d been trying to make a joke, but Dean didn’t laugh. Instead, he lifted one leg and pushed on Cas’s thigh with his socked foot.
    “I’m horny,” he said with a conspiratorial smirk.
    “So?” chuckled Cas. “Join the club.”
    “Well, let’s do somethin’ about it,” replied Dean in a matter-of-fact tone.
    Cas wasn’t sure he’d heard right. He looked over at his friend and saw that the guy’s eyes were resting on him heavily. Dean’s foot shoved at him again. “C’mon, Cas,” he said shamelessly, “you like dick. I have a dick. Whaddaya say?”
    “I say,” answered Cas, turning back to the television and praying for strength, “that you’re drunk.”
    “M’not that drunk.”
    “You’re drunk enough to hit on a dude,” chuckled Cas.
    “I ain’t hittin’ on you,” corrected Dean, “I’m just sayin’ we could, ya know, help each other out. It don’t gotta be a big deal.”

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    21 Jan 2019

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    The same plotline of many college experimentation-leads-to-angst-and-then-more fics (this with the best-friends-since-age-6 flavor), but very well executed.

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Y’all are sweet,” she says, and nods to indicate him and Cas. “Is he your—are you all together?”

    Dean’s still contemplating how to answer this without saying something offensive—he never has figured out a polite way to say “no homo”—when Cas answers for him. Cas doesn’t even look up from his plate, his mouth full of baklava and some stray flakes of phyllo dough sticking to his lips when he says, “Yes.”

    Dean feels more than sees Sam go very still across the table, forkful of salad and grilled chicken poised in midair.

    ***

    In which Cas is human and doesn't understand basic concepts like: clothing, Mythbusters, moisturizer, and Greek food. Dean is...Dean and doesn't understand basic concepts like: boyfriends, language, how to tell your friend that he's a walking miracle, and when not to quip.

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    21 Jan 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Post-fall Cas gets Dean with the program.

    **************
    “So, uh, Cas,” Dean tries.

    “Yes, Dean.” Dean can’t be sure but it feels like Cas looks at him differently now that he’s human—there’s more warmth there, it seems less like he’s translating Dean’s every action and more like he’s present. He looks at Dean now, his eyes crinkling in fondness. He’s happy to be full, he’s happy to be tired, he’s happy to have ganked that thing and to think about the bed that awaits his aching mortal frame. It’s Dean’s happiness too—the hunter’s happiness, though perhaps happiness is the wrong term. It’s more a kind of immediate satisfaction, the best kind of happiness a hunter can hope for. It’s the life.

    “Cas, buddy. What was that about, with the waitress? When you, uh, said we were together?”

    Cas tilts his head and a pang shoots through Dean. He may be human now, but that head tilt is all angel. “Dean, we are together.”

    “Sure, I mean, yeah, obviously we’re sitting at this table and eating food, you, me and Sammy, and in that sense we’re together,” Dean begins.

    “And we work together and live together,” Cas finishes.

    Dean tries again, “But that’s not how the waitress meant it…when humans…when we refer to two people as ‘being together’ we mean that they’re in a relationship.”

    “We are in a relationship, Dean,” Cas says slowly, as if speaking to a two-year-old it pains him to correct.

    “Right, of course,” Dean hurries, “but not the kind of relationship she meant. She meant to ask if we were in a romantic relationship. She wanted to know if we were…boyfriends.” This last part is mumbled through the loud scream of Dean’s blushing. He’s not even sure if that’s…what you call it? When two dudes are boning? Is it boyfriends?

    “Dean, we are boyfriends,” Cas says solemnly, and for a minute, Dean’s brain shorts, goes completely blank and then--Christ why did Dean say ‘boyfriends’? It’s too much, a former angel of the lord saying ‘boyfriends’ like that, it’s not right. ‘Boyfriends,’ good god.

    “Cas, boyfriends means…we’re…” Dean fumbles around in language for a moment, seeking the tools to build the sentence he needs and utterly failing.

    “Boyfriends means we’re in a relationship. In a romantic relationship between two men, the men may refer to each other as boyfriends,” Cas says, and then rolls his eyes, “Dean, I know what ‘boyfriends’ means, I’ve watched Pretty Little Liars.”

    “You think we’re boyfriends,” Dean says. His face is not working.

    “Boyfriends, yes, Dean. We are boyfriends,” Cas is speaking slowly again, concern in his voice, as if he pities Dean and whatever mental short-circuit is afflicting him at the moment.

    “Oh, okay, then. As long as we’re clear,” Dean hears himself say in a fit of hilarity, because nothing is clear, no, not at all.

    But they haven’t kissed, or even touched, really—not in the way that Dean would consider to be the “boyfriend” type of touching. Dean wonders then…is there something that he’s missing? Something that would make the waitress, watching Sam and him watch Cas, pick Dean as Cas’s obvious romantic interest rather than Sam? Something that even Cas, with his slightly skewed human impulses, could pick up on? Is Dean just broadcasting “fruit, I’m a big ole fruit” wherever he goes? It’s a distressing thought, and makes him wince in displeasure.

    “Dean,” Cas growls then.

    “What,” says Dean, not looking at him, looking instead at his battered, cracked hands.

    “I can see your brain thinking something hateful. Stop it.”

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Sam closes Hell. Castiel closes Heaven. The heroes save the day. There's no Heaven or Hell waiting to cause the next big disaster. There's no more end of the world. There's only a squirmy feeling in his chest that feels a lot like freedom. So, now what?

     

    (Things I promise you in this fic: dog poetry, rabbits, and fluff)

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    21 Jan 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    A delightful story that turns all of the newly-human Cas Destiel story tropes on their head. Starts out with an AU end to S8 wherein Heaven and Hell are successful locked (with all of their residents within), and after some scares and serious hospital time, a newly human Cas and a recovering (but jubilant to be freed of divine influences) Sam, return to the bunker (with Kevin & Charlie). Sam nests, Cas adjusts poorly (bewildered and annoyed with all things human and overwhelmed with sensations), and Dean is basically himself. And it turns out Dean isn't a lying-to-himself bisexual and he's the one who knows Destiel is happening, just no one else is with the program quite yet.
    ***************
    Dean sits up. He wraps his hands around the steering wheel and twists them. He stares out the windshield. "I hunt monsters for a living. I'm wanted across the country for theft, arson, and murder. Hell, I'm a serial killer as far as the FBI is concerned." He laughs at his own joke. "I'm not exactly an epic romance kind of guy."

    Castiel braces himself for rejection. He didn't need reciprocation before, he shouldn't need it now. His love for Dean doesn't hinge on Dean loving him back.

    He knows it's going to hurt when Dean tells him no.

    "But this makes a lot more sense than most of the stuff in my life." Dean says.
    ****************
    Dean stares, mystified by whatever alternate reality he's fallen into.

    He has to have heard it all wrong. He got the part where Sam wasn't actually into Cas - he was just glad to see the poor guy get a chance at a real human life - but the part where things went sideways was all the coming out is hard and overcoming his upbringing stuff. Did Sam seriously think he was straight this whole time?

    "You okay?" Sam asks gently. He squeezes Dean's shoulder in his gigantor hands.

    Dean can't stop staring. Sam thought he was straight this whole time. His mouth drops open, trying to form literally any word other than another confused, what?

    "Dean?"

    "...how?" Dean's proud of himself for knowing a grand total of two words.

    Sam pats his shoulder. "It's going to be fine."

    Dean knocks his hand from his shoulder and gets his brain working again. "How did you not know? We lived out of the same car for years!"

    Sam looks at him like he's the one that just missed out on the last three decades.

    Dean snorts. Maybe he made some assumptions about Cas and dating but this is ridiculous. Sam should know. Sam's his touchy feely brother. Sam sticks his nose into everything. He can't even think about mushy stuff without Sam knowing about it and wanting to talk it out.

    Sam keeps staring at him like he was speaking in tongues. Sam doesn't know. Sam. Sam, doesn't know.

    "Really? I flirt with guys right in front of you." Dean says. "Hell, I've flirted with half the cops and practically every FBI agent we've ever run into. And let me tell you, equal hiring practices? Still not a thing on the force. Those were definitely dudes."

    Now it's Sam's turned to be mystified. "But...but you never said anything."

    "Said anything?" Dean thinks this might be what it's like to go crazy. "You met Benny."

    Sam shakes his head like a wet dog. "What?"

    Dean wipes his hand over his face. This can't be happening. He can't really be having this conversation now. Sam had to know about Benny. It's not like he'd let just anyone ride his meat suit out of Purgatory.

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

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    21 Jan 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Low key curtain fic with a now-human Cas who is having trouble with memories, a semi-arthrythic aging Dean who works on cars and builds things for Cas, and slowly falling into being together. Post early S10.

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    No one ever tells Dean anything.

    (or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

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    21 Jan 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Progressive hookups on hunts (behind Sam's back), and zero communication. How could that possibly go wrong?