crypticColumnist

Don't doubt my weaseling abilities, for they are epic and memorable in their scope. Magnus Bane The Mortal Instruments



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  1. Teen Wolf (TV) (1)

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Please don't eat me!” Keith yelped. “I promise I don't taste good...I didn't even shower today! Please! I have a family...I...wait..what are you doing?"

    The merman ignored Keith and grabbed his hands, sniffing at them he made a confused chirping sound and looked around before looking back at Keith expectantly.

    “Do you want more...fish?” Keith asked weakly.

    The merman simply chirped again and tried to bite Keith’s fingers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,227
    Chapters:
    19/?
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    Comments:
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    Kudos:
    1421
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    233
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    09 Mar 2018

  2. Public Bookmark 46

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    A dimension where Rick never left Beth and her mom, instead growing into a nice pudgy #1 grandpa who doesn't really go on adventures and mostly only does safe science. The Beth and Jerry in this dimension never have Morty, and instead end up having another daughter a few years later.
    Since this Rick is Morty-less, and what the council deems as “unfit to protect his dimension”, he ends up assigned Combat Morty number 32. Number 32 was raised in the citadel and is very good at his job, but is also very weirded-out by normal social conventions and a bit of a paranoid hoodlum.

    Its an adjustment for everyone involved.

    (A series of ficlets based on cannibalshark's Combat Morty AU.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,633
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    311
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2792

    17 Apr 2017

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Jim Kirk is nine when a massacre on Tarsus IV leaves him without a family and without a home. Spock is twelve when a strange boy in the desert saves his sehlat. Families aren't born; they're made. The look in mother’s eyes at his correction remained a mystery long after the colors of the night sky and the complex patterns of distant nebulae had become translatable by means of distinct and relatively straightforward equations.

    Language:
    English
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    207,623
    Chapters:
    43/43
    Comments:
    1322
    Kudos:
    3794
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    1366
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    06 Nov 2014

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Stiles goes along with one of Derek’s plans and ends up in an alternate universe as a result. He should’ve known better. He did know better, actually, and that means he has no one to blame but himself.

    Laura wants to lure the kid in with food and kindness and make a pet of him, like a feral cat. Derek wants to have him arrested for stalking. They’re at an impasse. (And the rest of the family is staying emphatically out of it in a way that suggests bets have been placed.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,206
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1346
    Kudos:
    15949
    Bookmarks:
    7203
    Hits:
    418263

    26 Mar 2014

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Stiles was supposed to be exorcising a demon, okay? He does not have time for being pinned to the wall by Laura freaking Hale.

    or that fic where Stiles is sent back in time and decides to be a meddler.

    "So maybe next time we meet, I'll be someone else. I'll be better. I'll be different. Maybe next time, I will be a spark, and I will burn this fucking world to the ground." - R.M. Drake

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    86,512
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    1209
    Kudos:
    4305
    Bookmarks:
    1434
    Hits:
    105268

    07 Dec 2013