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  1. Rec *

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    Grantaire is earnest in this, and it’s heartbreaking. Enjolras can’t look away. This is just a rehearsal. Grantaire is still wearing skinny jeans. They have lights and phones and textual analysis and thousands of years of history between now and then and yet–

    When Grantaire speaks, the distance collapses.

    (Grantaire as Hamlet.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,667
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    239
    Kudos:
    1134
    Bookmarks:
    406
    Hits:
    20662

    10 May 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    it is nearing 2 in the morning and i am having some kind of delayed cry about the layers upon layers of overlapping, igniting, crescendoing love in this. if i remember for one more second the part where enjolras thinks about how he /loves mornings like these when feuilly is happy/ i will be inconsolable. his heart is bared in his every word of narration, his every observation of his friends, new and old and re-met, his every description of every individual around him giving their all to build this production from nothing but their scripts and pencils and discipline. there is so much space for their lives here. their days extend far beyond the edges of what transpires in this story, well beyond what enjolras is aware of -- and /so much/ happens in the world of this story. there are many stories happening at once, as many as there are characters, and more besides, heckin skillfully written in all the hectic, mundane unpredictability of actual lives -- through every room, every hallway, every change in setting, there is so much space for them to breathe.

    and the way the text of hamlet is woven throughout, in order, until their production has been built to the best of their collective ability and is ready for opening night, and it all comes back around full circle with the guards once more telling what they saw -- it is so good and so deftly done. i don't know much about the play, but reading this gave me so many feelings about the characters having feelings about hamlet that i practically as well as had feelings about hamlet. about their reading of it, certainly. grantaire, late at night on enjolras and feuilly's couch. enjolras, guilt in his gut as he watches grantaire perform a speech from a different version. cosette, tears streaming down her face as fantine relays that ophelia has drowned. the way enjolras observes and worries after all of his actors (his!), seeing their exhaustion as the rehearsal period hurtles toward its end and not wanting them to be consumed by their roles, even as he works at his own part with just as much of himself given over.

    each moment of levity washed through me like sunlight -- the violinists on the subway, the movie marathon, the way there are scenes of the characters in serious discussion in rehearsals interspersed with scenes of them rehearsing, but letting themselves be light, have fun, dissolve into laughter. the opening scene in the green room. the afternoon where enjolras hangs backward off their couch and does three voices at once. the skull. enjolras tackled by éponine while feuilly and grantaire look on, all of them laughing, unrestrained, alive. my gd heart. and there are times when everything in the world becomes still, and the pair of characters are focused entirely on each other, speaking so plainly about the work they find purpose in, about the desire for death that rears its head, about how grating it feels to accept let alone ask for help, about how the work they love is also the work that takes the most from them, and. and they don't reach a conclusion because there isn't one, but they see each other a little clearer because of the time and care they took to communicate. there are so many incredible conversations in this.

    i love how there is no ending. i love the clarity with which this says, you can love more than one thing. and none of those things need define the shape of your life from now on, but if you let them in and let your love fill the space beneath your sternum, the shape your life takes now, right now, can be worth the act of being awake. what a work of magic. in the way that human connections and theatrical productions are magic, which is to say, not magic in dismissal of the deliberate, painstaking, fiercely personal work that goes into both, that is brought so incredibly to life here, but magic in the sense of what comes of it. oh my god, i love this.

  2. Rec *

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    Summary

    “You aren’t going to ask me if I’m okay?”

    “You aren’t. Believe me, I know the signs.” Grantaire sighs, and his breath mists in the air like cigarette smoke. “They love you in there.”

    “And out here?”

    “You know that’s not a fair question.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,514
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    2268
    Bookmarks:
    428
    Hits:
    29293

    15 Feb 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    i love this so much. the conflicts feel so honest, the imbalances and upsets between the characters so incredibly grounded, and i am immersed in the very temperature of every location this changes between. the fact that people can care about each other, wish nothing but the most fulfilling and glad moments for each other, but and they will still walk into raw, uncertain territory like this. they can't know where they overstep until they know where the lines are, and of course knowing that doesn't mean they won't ever misstep again, doesn't mean a person's lines will never shift or waver, but talking about it is no less important. and every conversation that happens in this, every relationship is full of so much care that if i feel it much more i will curl in on myself and cry. in the way you do when you're given a look into how careless, how insistent, how gentle, disquieting, cooperative, warm the joined actions of loving and trying can be. they hear each other in this. it's truly wonderful.

  3. Rec 78

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    Summary

    Gwen is still adjusting to her new role as the ruling queen of Camelot, Morgana is only intermittently sorry and even less frequently sane, but life goes on, even after destiny has chewed you up and spat you out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,973
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    274
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    4001

    30 Jan 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    hhhhhh this is wonderful. it feels like an incarnation of the characters, in all their three-dimensional, contradictory glory person-ness, that the show never quite allowed for.

    this is the story i needed to read after the show finished eight years ago, but i'm so glad to have read it today. and i think my head is clearer now too, all the better to appreciate the incredible balance of betrayal, uncertainty, steadfastness, anger, distrust, hope, distance, civility, etc etc that is woven here. this is no fix-it. this follows five seasons of characters' selfish choices and self-righteous actions, of characters having their will, their lives stolen from them, of characters trying to make the most just sacrifices for the sake of their people (whoever their people happened to include) -- this follows through to the consequences and rocky aftermaths of it all. there is no fixing of that. there are no simple distillations of what each character's legacy was or will be. but there is finding footing again, and there is (eventually) the very tangible proof that really, not a single one of the prophesies was correct. there are moments of peace to be pieced together and grasped among the mess that's been chewed up and spat out, and each one of those moments is so cathartic to read.

  4. Rec 13

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    Summary

    “I’m trying to solve a problem,” Shinkai says. “A problem about having a problem.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1101

    08 Dec 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    still one of my favorite fics, oh my goodness. it's been a good few years since i last pedal'd and reading this brought back such a rush of fondness for the hakone team (especially the third years, because i am nothing if not consistent across teams and canons in having a Third Year Problem), and from arakita to miyahara, all their personalities here come across with such care and humor. i feel like i get to see a different aspect of their character with each appearance they make throughout, like fukutomi as pillar of captaincy and distressed pet owner and genuine guy who has to tell his friends he appreciates them, or manami going from vacant to frightening to mollified and back to cheerful, or shinkai who's thinking a lot of silly things and at the same time a lot of kinda dark things that show much about his character's mental struggles. they contain multitudes, it's wonderful.

    what i've never forgotten about this fic is how clever the writing is -- the contrast between shinkai the hard-boiled ex-cyclist detective as the protagonist of his epic daydream serial VS shinkai the generally ridiculous person and unindustrious student as his teammates know him is so great and endearing. and that contrast is crafted by more than switches between first and third person or between past and present tense; the /language/ changes, the vocabulary, the types of comparisons, the rhythm of the sentences all change, the entire mood and color of the story changes even as it's always, unbreakingly the same shinkai's point of view, loving his friends and admiring their strengths and feeling glad to know them. it's such an awesome piece of writing, and i've remembered it often these past few years, i'm so happy to read it again now ;v;

  5. Rec 5

    Summary

    related but standalone stories all set in a military/magic AU where necromancy is possible (but frowned upon)

    Words:
    3,430
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    5

    06 Dec 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    hooooooooooooooooooooooooo. heck. wow.
    these are seriously incredible, you know how sometimes you like a work so much that you could stay in that space for hundreds, thousands more words (or hundreds, thousands more re-read words), i like these in a way where i have to leave the space first, because while i was in there i couldn't really comfortably breathe, the cold was so palpable. the world here is intense. the stakes are life-and-death-and-devastation high, the natural environment is merciless, something unfathomably ancient and horrible has probably been awakened, and in stark contrast -- it's not about the world, it's about these dear, beloved characters who are just trying to protect each other's warmth. and the fact that both sides of the looming confrontation are so dear hurts in the best way. i wish for hinata to keep being inspired by the teammates (the.. fellow soldiers) around him, to keep sparking excitedly and keep everyone in that unit together. i wish for tendou and ushijima to have many quiet moments with each other that aren't so heavy with grief and responsibility and the simultaneous inability to defend their actions / inability to regret. but it doesn't seem possible for everyone to be okay in this world, and i'm so interested in and fascinated by that.

  6. Rec *

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    Summary

    They’ve been each other’s best friends and harshest critics, and—even if he would never say this out loud to Atsumu—have relied on each other. But sometimes Atsumu is outright dependent, and Osamu wonders how he could even survive simple tasks on his own. That’s why he gives him a year to let it sink in that it won’t last forever.

    As expected, Atsumu is furious about it. Because how could he grasp that anything exists outside volleyball, outside them playing volleyball together and pushing each other, measuring against each other. He can’t fathom finding a happiness that comes without it.

    So when Atsumu vows to live the happier life...

    Go ahead and show me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,455
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    498
    Bookmarks:
    146
    Hits:
    3410

    20 Sep 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    this. is. everything.

  7. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    David and Patrick's last day in their first house.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,901
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    163
    Kudos:
    451
    Bookmarks:
    112
    Hits:
    4312

    01 Jul 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    sometimes you just need to bury your face into a pillow and cry a little (not a little) because of how effectively a writer has made you Feel Things

    it's not like every corner of this house has been described in meticulous room-by-room detail, it's not like this is a written tour -- and i was going to say 'but it feels like it' except that's not true either: this is a home, truly a home through the eyes of one of the two people who made it so, and he has grown into and /worked at/ being so in tune with the other person that reading his perspective feels like reading /both/ of their perspectives. you can't tour that. this feels like even more than a retrospection of their favorite memories in this house and in other places; this feels like significance, and intimacy, and the consistently transforming strength of several intertwined relationships that have rooted in this town, this home, and most importantly in each other and in each of themselves.

    this author's so good at writing relationships whose weight you can feel. i'm thinking of 'getting over getting older all the time' (and this actually /specifically/ brings that butterfly-wing universe to mind, my heart oh my god), and how the years and years are palpable because the actions the characters choose to take always carry their experience of that time. a character's thoughts right now only exist because of everything they've lived and talked about and thought in every day before, and this author's writing is filled with those implications. sometimes it's expressly in words, sometimes it's indirect, by seeing what a character says/does and noticing it's different from what they would have done before. like the difference between early-relationship david thinking or talking about how they'll eventually break up (where it's simultaneously flippant and dismissive and also deeply painful), and this david, four, five years later and continuing, who speaks straightforwardly about how they'll eventually reach a lull, and his tone is there but it's somehow the opposite of flippant -- it's recognizing the real probability of any relationship (not exclusive of theirs) reaching a rough time. here he is, honest and steadfast with his partner and husband, committed to becoming the versions of themselves who emerge on the other end, on the same side and on the same page, more communicative, more compassionate, more content. and they do. they do. long-term, indeed.

    and everything about the tangible years in this utterly respects the idea that you don't have to cut your past selves off from your present self, because for all the differences between, for all that you've changed, you can't separate a past self as an entirely different person to throw or bury or shut away. you open the door, you take their hand. you keep walking. (paraphrased from penumbra's 'tools of rust') the sheer lived-in-ness of this entire work. every second of a place being a character in its own right. absolutely gorgeous ;-;

  8. Rec 92

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    Summary

    The sun is starting to go down, casting long shadows across the lawn, and the temperature is starting to dip with it. Stevie can feel goosebumps on her arms where she’d pushed the sleeves of her shirt up to her elbows earlier. Patrick will be back any minute with the pizza; they ought to get up and at least attempt to find some plates so they don’t end up with their dinner in their laps. Instead, Stevie bumps her shoulder against David’s. “I’m glad you decided to stay.”

     

    David, and Patrick, and the place they call home.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,220
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    338
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    2523

    19 Jun 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    i adore this ;^; every relationship feels so settled and lived-in, including moments of realizing that oh, things have /changed/ as well, and how lovely that they get to keep being present and watch over each other as they change.

    in each scene, from stevie to alexis to johnny and moira to marcy, there's such a beautiful balance between characters knowing the people they love really well, and because of how well they know each other, they are the ones who can see right away those subtle, new ways they're different from before. (stevie's disbelief that david could possibly be interested in gardening turning soon into teasing support; alexis sitting through david's facetime house tour because he's excited and she loves that for him and she loves her own, ultimately one-bedroom place for her; moira not understanding why on earth david is staying in such a not-grand place but scrolling back through his photos for a second look, a third look, seeing his happiness for what it is and being glad for him; marcy noticing all the little ways patrick is more relaxed, more comfortable, more of himself in this home, and feeling such love for him and for david; the punch in the heart of the last scene)— every voice and moment of this is so wonderful and warm.

  9. Rec 32

    Tags
    Summary

    Prince Henry: Is there anything you don't do?

    Danielle de Barbarac: Fly.

    Leonardo da Vinci: Then I shall have to make you wings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,856
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    3208

    18 Jun 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “after so many years” :'''')
    i love this so much, everything about danielle's unyielding sense of adventure, her glorious moment in flight and utter competence in operating the glider, the dear inventor and friend who made it possible, the perfectly omniscient pov -- everything here is wondrous.

  10. Rec 25

    Tags
    Summary

    Danielle seeks the queen’s counsel when it comes to the matter of settling her father’s estate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,074
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2151

    17 Jun 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ahhhhh! this is everything <3
    one of the things that hit me hardest was that ultimate rejection from the baroness, where even the last and deepest layer of danielle's hope was destroyed and through that pain she. nods. the thought that now she would be the queen's daughter in law was a very nice thought, and this of course is even more wonderful than i could imagine. cries @ all of the characters' voices in this, all their love and compassion for those deserving; i'm so glad.

  11. Rec 67

    Tags
    Summary

    The painting is arresting. A small-scale Helen Frankenthaler meets mixed media. Watery, bright colors bleed over textured fibers. Sand, maybe clay—he can’t tell from this distance—is mixed into some of the paints, lifting them off the canvas. His heart beats a familiar, forgotten thump.

    A tale of David and art.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,973
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    98
    Kudos:
    305
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    1592

    11 Jun 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    stunning.

    reveals so much about david, and how deeply it dismantled him that his parents had the hand they did in his galleries. that was something huge, and the lasting effect it has had on him since he found out, all through the process of building the store and proving he was more than a whim or an unsubstantiated idea -- that effect comes to light here in something so small. the moment that leads him to second-guess himself now is an everyday, lived in moment, and it is wrenching to see how naturally he shuts down his excitement in the face of someone he loves, who loves him, who he does still have to /consciously/ trust with all of himself. his steps forward come so beautifully; their conversations are so wonderful.

  12. Rec *

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    Summary

    and there are some like us,
    just walking, making our feet move ahead of us,
    a little bored, a little lost, a little angry,
    walking as though we were really going somewhere,
    walking as if there was something to see at Adelaide or maybe on King,
    something that will give a fair return for this use of shoe-leather,
    something that will make us smile with a strange new
    happiness, a lost but recovered joy.

    - Raymond Souster, “Yonge Street Saturday Night”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    237,407
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    862
    Kudos:
    1925
    Bookmarks:
    944
    Hits:
    55044

    04 Jun 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    could not put this down. could barely put this down after reaching the end, really, this is the kind of work that leaves a mural on the inside of your heart and touches together nerve endings in your brain that you didn't realize could be connected. i don't know how to describe it. there must be places like this schitt's creek out here, with all the best parts of people reaching out to each other to hold and guide and build through the worst. there is truly /an entire community/ within this. an entire community. and to follow patrick as he goes from noncommittally storing his boxes in ray's rental room to consciously, carefully, passionately putting down roots and sending them out toward the people who helped him and giving himself to the community that welcomed him, that continuously welcomes, making it ever more open, ever more encouraging to everyone who needs their own space to grow -- to follow him through this period of immense change and self-realization is incredible.

    i am here for ronnie growing up in this town and running three times until she finally got her seat on the council, keeping it for decades, holding it now for years to come, being the central reason why schitt's creek became a place that called to so many, starting the meeting of local lesbians that grew over the course of /twenty-five years/ into the monthly rotating-hosts shindig for anyone, for everyone seeking the community they couldn't find anywhere else. ronnie as the pillar of facilitating favors not as debts owed, but reasons to help each other. reminders to help each other. people know each other, and it isn't mortifying. it is freeing, and vital, and aspirational.

    there is tangible history to the entire town in this, and every character, whether expanded from the briefest appearance in the show or entirely original, is present in a way that they each have their own life, and when they appear it's because their life happens to intersect with patrick's for a scene or two at a time. they've each got their own story, their own history, and they enter patrick's story as he enters theirs, to give and accept and give some more. there's an unfading sense of interactions being /mutual/. it's so special and so wonderful to see all the unique ways they care for one another. some more of the things that ran directly from the screen to my heart to my tear ducts: everything patrick and ray do for each other, patrick wiping down jeff and emily's kitchen, patrick and joon-ho calling it friendship, the saga of team bob's garage infiltrating team cafe tropical and making it safer making both teams better making the league more enjoyable and fun, patrick and stevie, patrick and stevie after the curtain comes down on opening night. and. if every moment given to the development of patrick and david's relationship over the course of three seasons were less filled with love, with mutual inspiration, i might be able to talk about them more. there are unfathomable volumes of detail in this and visiting its world has been one of the most calming, beautiful experiences. wow. wow.

  13. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    David Rose needs a sixth person for ultimate (trivia) game play. Enter Patrick Brewer.

    It's two smart idiots falling in love.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,380
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    891
    Kudos:
    977
    Bookmarks:
    269
    Hits:
    20847

    29 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    a love letter to love -- to paying attention, to learning to trust, to learning how you've changed, and finding what you want. to planting yourself in it and building it alongside those who miraculously, by chance and by choice, want the same thing. to life as a trivia game where the questions matter. and where the answers, if they're going to end up right, are reached through discussion and collaboration because no one person can know or decide everything all on their own. a love letter to being on the same team, as it were.

    i was drawn entirely into this world, because its own world is exactly what it is -- slightly shifted circumstances leading to slightly shifted versions of the characters, giving rise to nights and inside jokes and ways of showing their care that are specific to these versions of them. the band breakup, the art house theater. leading to origami frogs and taco stands and the kind of working partnership that by overwhelming evidence works for them in any universe. and the way their disagreement, their hurtful, messed up communication plays out here is so true to who they are in /this/ universe; everything about how they come to find home in each other is so beautifully written.

  14. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    After her family lost all their money, Alexis got pretty good at letting go of things.

    Letting go of Ted is a whole different story.

    Post-series.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,725
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    157
    Kudos:
    547
    Bookmarks:
    170
    Hits:
    5500

    26 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    alexis's warmth and love shines through every word of this. all these precise, glowing glimpses at the characters' ongoing lives (even when this story isn't about all of them, they are very much present in her life, and her love for them comes through in gorgeous details and interactions that show volumes about who each character is. every line of dialogue, every physical reaction -- they are recognizably the most joyous, heartfelt versions of themselves in this). it is all so beautifully written, and i maybe don't tend to use this word but she does! so: this is everything they deserve. this is everything she deserves.

    her voice here is especially incredible. after turning over in my head why it felt so calming and downright /lovely/ to be in her head for a while, i think it's this -- people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you. she knows this as a fact, really knows and believes it, and in her voice as narrator she embodies it. she doesn't linger on worrying about what others are up to or what they think of her. she doesn't wonder endlessly about what each person she interacts with is thinking inside themselves. hers is such a quiet, focused headspace. and of course none of this means she doesn't care about people! she cares so much, she's generous and considerate and always trying to show her support for them based on the pieces they share and the pieces she can see, and she is so sweet. she doesn't glide, she walks. her very nice shoes are touching the ground always, and it is amazing to see the world around her through her well-adjusted eyes, it is amazing to get to see her establish her home base and grow and build this life for herself.

  15. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s an attractive thought, that changing your life could be as easy as doing a hard thing.

    Instead of moving to Schitt’s Creek, Patrick decides to hike fifteen hundred miles of the Pacific Crest Trail, through the wilderness, alone. He ends up meeting someone else with something to prove.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,758
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    661
    Kudos:
    1188
    Bookmarks:
    494
    Hits:
    12521

    25 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    it's 5 am
    the birds started up two hours ago and it felt like they were keeping me company through one of the most gently fulfilling stories i've ever read
    this makes me think that there are things i want to find out, too

    (and here are more of the same) the character work here is wondrous. the groundedness, the back-and-forth, the sincerity and openness make their voices a gift. that amazing thing with AUs that speak to familiar moments in canon and give them new words, new faces, shifted contexts until you feel the impact of what's happening twice over because there's the world of the show explained and there's the world of this explored, and this is awake in a way that only written stories can be.
    i don't use that word lightly.

    the growth that happens here is beautifully paced. every single setting is so, so vivid. the hours and miles and /months/ are palpable. the physical toll, the mental, the emotional. all of it. a bit ago i read this book about shapes that narratives take, with an introductory chapter about the combination of word-time and scene-time working to create stretches, skips, dialations of story, and there were examples on every page that explained these concepts in ways i could understand, but reading this. reading this, i could feel, become invested in, truly /feel/ the words creating time around these characters and around these moments in their lives. and i could feel the existence of time not just in those moments, but further back and further forward -- as their hike progressed i honestly didn't know how this would end, but i felt sure it would be kind. and that surety feels rare, a trust toward an anonymous author that only kept building with the careful, settled weight of each next scene. and now, 5 am, it feels more true than ever that these characters will continue to live and want and change long after this particular trail ends. what a feat this is, i'm so grateful. (and in four hours, i can confirm plans to read everything else this author has written)

    post-reveal edit: this. author. oh my god. my heart is doing a quiet, elated dance ;-;

  16. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    David deals with a health scare, very calmly and maturely and without panicking at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,100
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    265
    Kudos:
    1473
    Bookmarks:
    296
    Hits:
    16866

    22 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    i am blown away by how them this is. and by them i mean literally, literally every single character here from david's tone-perfect voice throughout to bob's single second of an appearance feels and sounds and looks, practically, downright alive. this writing is incredible. the utter gamut of emotions, intense love and sickening worry, blessed humor and grounded disagreements.. what i'm trying to say is that this author is so good at writing characters who are alive, and relationships that are lived in. there's ease and comfort, lightheartedness and banter, and there is weight and history to all these interactions. difficulty, too. this is filled with both quiet and overt reminders of how these characters /know/ each other, how their normal days overlap. the incontrovertible heart driving the friendships, the family, the town. the store.

    there's like half a line, about a terrible fleece Maple Leafs blanket that patrick has 'that had almost made them break up that one time' -- and this stays in my head as an indicator of how fascinating and inspiring the tone of this is, where this is funny and throwaway, maybe, and it is also no stretch at all for me to imagine this as not an exaggeration, that this terrible blanket was truthfully the straw on a previous camel's back. the chapters here make it so clear that disagreements and arguments, overstepping, reacting inappropriately, not being in sync, these are real and fraying things. and they are also things that can be resolved. and because of how these characters live, they will be resolved. not trimmed tidy and put away, but let into the light, where their conversations help them learn how to love each other. aaaaah. this is so good.

  17. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Well I’m going to run some errands,” David says, brushing a stray bit of fuzz off his navy blue sweater. “But we’re still on for birthday dinner?”

    “Yeah,” Patrick nods. He’s pretty sure David knows the annual birthday surprise party stopped being a surprise after year two or three. David doesn’t even inflict fictional catastrophes on the café as a decoy anymore. But Patrick plays along anyway. In some ways their whole partnership is built on playing along.

    OR David and Patrick have been business partners for a decade until, on Patrick's 40th Birthday, everything changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,939
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1451
    Kudos:
    1286
    Bookmarks:
    412
    Hits:
    25358

    15 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    the underlying thrum of this is so warm it radiates the love right off the screen and i literally don't know what to do about it
    wow
    ten years of love in all directions. and somehow i feel like "angst" often implies unhappiness? but there is virtually none of that here. there is too much respect for these people to be lastingly unhappy with each other. (and the one dramatic time a character does/says something that is self-serving, it is never framed as anything other than a lapse in that enduring respect.) the thing is, it /is/ fine when they are committed to other people. it works out /while/ they aren't involved in that way. love as something that teaches, something that shapes -- and the way characters' relationships have profound impact on how they come to navigate later relationships, the way characters are written as deeply loving multiple people, the way none of their time is considered lost. it's all so honest. and it is refreshing, heart-stirring, gorgeous to read about time not being lost. love as something that has space to grow because of the sheer chance, sometimes, of several important parts of your life aligning. that it isn't only what a person makes you feel (about them, about yourself, about who you think you can be with them), it's also about the place(s) you know as home, the friends you love, the work that sparks you, all of these things knitting together are what make a fulfilling life and if you are so lucky as to have found and built all these things, then your choices involve being honest with yourself about which parts you must keep -- and which parts do not, or no longer fit alongside another person's. it isn't only about one type of feeling. not about one person. cannot have been easy to portray, and this writer did it incredibly.

    and the use of canon events, circumstances, lines of dialogue, now worked into the context and happenings unique to this diverged, fully realized universe -- stunningly effective, every time.

    i think i will be thinking about this, and in awe of this, for a long while.

  18. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Patrick and Stevie's text chain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,883
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    200
    Kudos:
    1498
    Bookmarks:
    236
    Hits:
    14580

    14 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART ;^; ;^; ;^;

    their voices are INCREDIBLE in this. truly pitch-perfect texts, the most fun (and visually appealing! the custom ao3 skin is really cool) to read, and it's such a treat to see these episodes through this extra dimension of patrick and stevie reacting to events, talking through events, CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY ARE FRIENDS, BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS

    also have i ever been so emotionally undone by a single emoticon

  19. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Roses and the Brewers come together to celebrate Thanksgiving in Patrick's hometown.

     
    His chest tightens thinking of all the glimpses that David will suddenly have into a past that Patrick thought might be lost somehow, and he’s only now realizing still belongs to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,917
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    262
    Kudos:
    622
    Bookmarks:
    130
    Hits:
    8476

    12 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    if honesty always felt like this, that would be a beautiful thing.

    this is so gorgeously, /truthfully/ written, introspection and dialogue and description balanced in the rare way that each kind of detail never interrupts, only adds to the others, and the whole thing just breathes
    (and on many occasions wrests the breath right out of me)

    grateful for this representation of the easily forgotten fact that growing is never over -- that there are more important aims than ignoring conflict, that you shouldn't try to play the perfect put-together role for everyone, that it is not too late to realize you want to change, not too late to realize change. these characters, whether they're in their thirties or near twice that, all have years and years of their own voice in their heads, grappling with themselves how best to live. and it's when they meet, as partners, as in-laws, as family, in pairs and pairs of pairs and groups, that they speak to each other's voices and realize a little more every time how they can grapple with those imperfections /with each other/. thanks to each other. the love to be found here among them all is so strong, and all the more because they know they have to remind each other, they are constantly learning how to remind each other.

  20. Rec 38

    Tags
    Summary

    This is a story about Rachel. It's about her relationship with Patrick, but it's also about a girl who fell in love with the wrong person. A girl who attached herself to someone who was sort of lost because she didn't want to see that she was sort of lost, too. (I really loved that Dan was adamant about not making Rachel out to be some shrew ex-girlfriend. She was a just a nice girl who met the wrong person too soon. I have to believe that both Rachel and Patrick genuinely cared for one another and that they truly could not figure out why, with all the perfect ingredients, the relationship never worked right. I think that happens when you meet someone you click so well with at a young age. It’s hard to let yourself and others change, and grow, and realize that you’re growing apart.) Anyway, this is also that conversation after The Barbecue (which I have set in late summer 2017, for reasons).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,236
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    225
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    1656

    11 May 2020

    Bookmarker's Notes

    holds this very close and very carefully
    as much as i understand that people who are important to each other are not always meant (for lack of a less fateful word) to stay in each other's lives beyond the period of time they end up having, there is a part of me that hopes for timelines where rachel and patrick do get to keep thinking of each other and loving each other. and this is written with such quiet, insistent tenderness that i can see clear as day why for so many years they had always drawn themselves together, why they had always come back, how they are friends through it all and have always been. how after this, they maybe (more than maybe) can be even stronger friends who understand each other, who if given the space and the solid ground would go to bat for each other's happiness

    they are both fully realized here, their individual choices affecting each other in ways the tv episodes don't quite have room to show -- especially rachel, whose voice and person here take the vibrance she had in those few scenes and unfold it into a heartbreaking but decisive story. and patrick, whose 'dealing with this' is /seen/ not by anyone in this new unquestioning town but by rachel who knows him and has the beautiful heart to hurt for him. their conversation here hits so many necessary beats. and it is something special that a future seems very real in possibility, one in which they are both more sure of themselves, where they know where they stand and are ready to be honest about it -- first to each other (and how Much is that), then to the rest of their world. lets out a breath. this does them so good.

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