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  1. SEVENTEEN (Band) (2)

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    A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag.

    Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.
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    “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

    Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

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    “You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.”

    “Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.”

    Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

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    A month and a half into his duties, a letter arrives. Lan Zhan, it reads, I miss you already. Throw over your responsibilities and meet me at the western ridge at Qixi. Yours, Wei WuXian.

    --

    Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi parted ways after Yunping — but not forever. [!!CQL verse!!]

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    “Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

    “I think so,” Sizhui says.

    “To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

    “Yes,” Sizhui says.

    “So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

    Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

    (Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

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    15 Jun 2020

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