abuseofreason

is this the real life



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  1. Rec 10

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    Lucy's first day as a London Underground tunnel inspector is not going as planned.

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    03 Apr 2018

  2. Rec *

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    littlebastardreviews posted the collected facts from the 2014 UK Editions of Harry Potter: and this fact caught my eye.

    'Only one non-magical person has ever managed to get as far as the Hogwarts Sorting Hat before being exposed as a Squib.'

    But, gosh it just makes me want a story where a squib did make it through. So here's a drabble about a squib with a quick mind and a hand-me-down wand, who refuses to be denied her birthright.

    --

    when the hat drops over her eyes it asks, 'well what do we have here?'

    she’s got a forged hogwarts letter with penmanship that’s perfect down to the ink splatter;

    she’s got a complicated string of owls, only half of them forged, from parents to administration to ministry that’s so complicated her name ended up on the first year roll call anyway.

    she’s got ten arguments, four pleas, and one smothered threat on the tip of her mental tongue for why the house that comes out of this hat’s brim better not be 'squib'

    she’s got a lighter up her sleeve and an eight and a half inch wand in her belt that will never, ever work for her.

    'well,' says the hat, 'better be slytherin then'

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    03 Apr 2018

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Eggsy’s just stepping into the film rental shop when he notices a tall, middle-aged man in a posh suit in one of the aisles, looking intently at the selection of films on the second-highest shelf. The romantic comedy section.

    When Eggsy swivels around to mouth an incredulous what the fuck? at Jamal standing behind the counter, Jamal just shrugs back.

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    24 Aug 2017

  4. Rec 11

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    Goldie and Bruno (formerly known as Baby Bear) have a problem: an influential former employer who has a habit of cheating her employees--licit and illicit--out of their pay, and therefore out of their futures. Now they and their allies have planned a caper to take her down.

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    24 May 2017

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Harry Hart has seventeen years worth of mistakes.

    Of all the mistakes he made, this is the one he regrets the most.

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    19 Mar 2015