RustySpottedCat



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  1. Rec *

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    Bilbo was a well-known, respectable Hobbit...but then he went on an adventure with Dwarves!
    This is the tale of how he came to embrace his lack of Hobbit respectability - and gained a family along the way.
    And headaches.
    Don't forget the headaches.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,925
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    366
    Bookmarks:
    103
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    17 Jun 2018

  2. Rec *

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    It's Yule time when Bilbo arrives back in the Shire- with a host of Dwarrow at his back, the sentimental lugs. Except now the assorted Aunts and Uncles have gotten quite the wrong idea in their excited interrogation, and he's stuck pretending that he's married a few of the hairy fellows.

    If he could just get through the assorted required Baggins and Took social events without outing himself as a complete fibber or drunkenly attempting to kiss Dwalin and Thorin under the mistletoe, it may just be a Yule miracle.

    Another attempt at writing a common trope fic that went completely off the rails.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    844
    Bookmarks:
    310
    Hits:
    8991

    09 Jun 2018

  3. Rec *

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    "Bilbo never bothers denying that he is a slight, little bit, probably infatuated with Thorin. It’s not something that bothers him. Really. He’s pretty sure that everyone very likely has a little flutter in their chest for the dwarf. He’s something grand and unattainable.

    And it’s really much safer if it stays that way."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,453
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    323
    Kudos:
    5046
    Bookmarks:
    1639
    Hits:
    111870

    07 Jun 2018

  4. Rec *

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    'Alone this Yuletide? Irritated with prying and nosey family members?

    I am an out of work blacksmith currently trying to make my way by any means necessary that does not involve my resorting to thievery (prisons are most uncomfortable, I've unfortunate first hand experience). However, if you would like me to be your strictly platonic companion for any social function, but have me pretend that we are in a serious courtship, so as to torment your family and ward off unwanted suitors then I am more than obliging...'

    After becoming increasingly irritated by overtures of romance from various Shire residents following the death of his mother four years ago, Bilbo is more than ready to resort to desperate measures. That is, up to and including pretending to be in a serious relationship with a certain surly blacksmith currently inhabiting the Bindbale Woods.

    It's a good idea after all; all they have to do is pretend to be in love over the Yuletide period and Bilbo's family and suitors will surely leave him alone after that. It's perfect! And nothing can possibly go wrong, right? Certainly nothing as preposterous as falling for one another for real...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,194
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    1145
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    2107
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    524
    Hits:
    28612

    07 Jun 2018

  5. Rec *

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    After the Battle of Five Armies Thorin and Company have a new task: rebuilding their reclaimed home. Suddenly Bilbo finds himself up to his ears in responsibility and he surprises himself with how well he can navigate negotiations with elf dignitaries, farmers in Dale, and a dwarf king who has patience for neither.

    But as Spring approaches a caravan from the Blue mountains brings something everyone had nearly forgotten: the dwarf woman Thorin promised his hand to many years ago.

    Which is fine. It's all fine. It wasn't like Bilbo was falling in love with the king or anything.

    That would be tragic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,747
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    1199
    Bookmarks:
    316
    Hits:
    15939

    07 Jun 2018