RiippleEffect



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    "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?"

    "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration.

    Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?"

    "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth.

    ---

    Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

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    08 Sep 2019

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    When Lucifer orders the demons back to Hell, he sends ALL the demons back. And a certain Serpent of Eden would really just like to get back to his love and life in Soho. But Lucifer has other plans for the demon who botched the apocalypse.

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    02 Sep 2019

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    "I'm in a bit of a pickle, my dear," Aziraphale said over the telephone.

    Crowley was seized by immediate fury. Not even a decade, and they're at it again, he thought viciously. You'd think they'd be embarrassed enough to stay out of things for a few centuries at least, after botching the apocalypse like that.

    "Who's done something to you?" hissed Crowley.

    "Ah," said Aziraphale, in the quiet tone of someone who didn't mean to learn someone else's secrets and was mildly sheepish about it. "This crossword clue -- I'm stuck -- 1980s French fencer, thought you might know. It's eight letters and has a Q in it."

    "Trinquet," Crowley snapped, in the tone of someone who had revealed one of his secrets and was annoyed about it.


    An account pertaining to the cultivation of figs, the ecstasy of St. Theresa of Avila, the ontological uncertainty of mammoths, the nature of temptation, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and the ten years following the end of the world.

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    01 Sep 2019

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    A plant grows, a plant dies, Aziraphale takes a wrong turn, and a few truths are revealed. The first of which is this; painful truths cannot be buried for they will sprout and flourish while one is busy having lunch and raising supposed devil-spawn. From this, each of our heroes takes a single lesson; Aziraphale learns that it is better to never bury truth in the first place and Crowley learns the altogether less palatable lesson that truths should be mulched into nothingness when one has the chance, lest they regrow.

    I will leave it up to you, dear reader, to decide who is correct.

    (aka: post-Apocalypse Crowley finally deals with the issues he's been ignoring for the last 6000 years)

    (note: chapter 12 is a sfw image)

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    31 Aug 2019

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    Crowley has time to prepare for the fact that he's going to have to enter a bloody sanctified church to save an idiot during the Blitz in 1941. It's too bad there isn't really enough prep time in the world to cope with this consecrated ground shit if you're a demon.

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    29 Aug 2019