Prophettheprophet



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Respectable hobbits don't have beards. Unfortunately, Bilbo is out of shaving cream and still on the road.

    Language:
    English
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    2,763
    Chapters:
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    Comments:
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    19 Apr 2018

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "An adventure?" Billa Baggins, a respectable genteel hobbit of the Shire, shivered and tried to convince herself it was a shudder.

    In which a perfectly proper not-so-young lady whistles her reputation down the wind and finds she really is her mother's daughter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,446
    Chapters:
    40/40
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    19 Apr 2018

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Fíli lived his life by an old dwarven proverb: when a fool drops a treasure, a wise man picks it up (it sounded better in the original khuzdul).

    Bella Baggins never quite fit in the Shire. Perhaps she was made for the mountains, instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,323
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    1269
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    13 Apr 2018

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Matt bears witness to the greatest tragedy of the modern age.

    Shiro is staring at the kid, open-mouthed, and there’s not a trace of humor in it.

    "Parkour?" Shiro asks, managing to sound fascinated.

    "Yeah." The kid brushes the bangs out of his eyes, suave-like. "Parkour."

    -

    Katie. This kid has never done parkour in his life. He wouldn't know parkour if it did a back flip off a building and suplexed him in an alley.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,303
    Chapters:
    8/?
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    28 Mar 2018

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shiro was a lawyer. Keith was a sandwich. (Can I make it any more obvious?)

    “I’m—I’m a sandwich.”

    Hunk puts his hands on Keith’s shoulders, or tries. It’s hard through the layers of painted foam and velour. The costume is a little stained, a little sun bleached, and smells vaguely of every person who’s ever been forced to go through the same trial Keith is now facing.

    “Don’t say that man. You’re more than that.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,243
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
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    28 Mar 2018