PickledDeath



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  1. Public Bookmark 91

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    "Elias, you see… I’m not sure he understands what it means to be married. I mean, physically. He thinks it’ll be the same as it is now – that we’re two adults that live together and that’s all there is to it. But that’s not my intention – it’s not what I want.”

    AKA the one in which adult Chise is a high-key monster-fucker and Elias is still an ancient virgin who can't drive.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,351
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
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    554
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    07 Jul 2018

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Trolls have some weird priorities. They can’t bring themselves to invent conditioner, but they have automatic manicure kits and gossip about which blood caste produces the best in claw hygiene. Dave has never really given much thought to the state of his nails. His time is better spent memorizing lame movie quotes and actively *not* flirting with the grumpy troll version of the Second Coming.

    On an unrelated note, being a teenage boy is hard. Literally. (Insert dick joke here.) It’s hard and having a hot sister doesn’t help in the slightest. Not that Dave finds his sister attractive in any way.

    Nope, not going there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,713
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    1335
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    262
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    01 Jul 2018

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He was completely unfazed by Ryuji’s doubt. “I can be very charming,” Akira assured him magnanimously. “I’ll have you know I’m a man of many talents. I’m sure any number of my skills will help me win him over.”

    Ryuji raised a sardonic eyebrow at him. “‘Talents?’ What, you mean like breaking and entering, assault, and hostage negotiation?”

    A blank, glasses-blocked stare. “You don’t think those will help?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,109
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    106
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    1101
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    396
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    24 Jun 2018

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Dave just wants to be left alone. What's the point of anything when what's broken can never be completely fixed?

    This is the story of Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas, on the longest journey of their lives.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78,311
    Chapters:
    37/37
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    752
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    3305
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    672
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    46775

    20 Jun 2018

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "I know it's not a nice solid dumpster," said the douche in a rumpled three-piece suit, "but the roof's not too leaky most days."

    Karkat managed somehow to tear his eyes away from the kitschiest sword stand ever and its glittery hopefully-fake diamonds and give the man a long, unamused, unimpressed stare.

    He hoped it was unimpressed. Apartment, his ass, this was a fucking penthouse suite. There were highly polished wooden floors everyfuckingwhere and marble countertops with inlaid fake-gold patterns (dear lord he hoped fake) and a chimney with a flatscreen showing a badly pixelated fire and faced by a fur rug.

    It was ridiculously gaudy. It was also ridiculously expensive.

    Bring a lot of your whores back here, Hefner? Karkat didn't retort, because hey, he was standing right here, wasn't he.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,912
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    1416
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    385
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    17 Jun 2018