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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    They haven't done it quite this way before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,445
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    107
    Kudos:
    1874
    Bookmarks:
    310
    Hits:
    11453

    12 Oct 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley is untethered. Aziraphale knows how to secure a knot. (He’s read many books on the subject, after all).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,918
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    141
    Kudos:
    1870
    Bookmarks:
    527
    Hits:
    23170

    12 Oct 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale returns to Crowley's flat for the night after Armageddon. After all, it's hardly the first time they've shared sleeping arrangements.
    Or: Times throughout history Crowley and Aziraphale have shared a bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,575
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    1080
    Kudos:
    1990
    Bookmarks:
    594
    Hits:
    13582

    04 Oct 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.)

     

    "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here."
    Madame Tracy peered at the page.
    Raised a meaningful eyebrow.
    "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context..."

    "Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "....huh."

     

    (Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,530
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    1445
    Kudos:
    2083
    Bookmarks:
    470
    Hits:
    24699

    28 Sep 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley uncovers an old wound and gets unnecessarily dramatic about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,675
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    2186
    Bookmarks:
    256
    Hits:
    9062

    26 Sep 2019

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “There’s just something I’ve been thinking about for a few centuries,” Aziraphale says. “It’s not very proper, of course, but . . .”

    Crowley grins, and leans towards him. Aziraphale having an “improper” idea sounds like the best time he can think of, frankly.

    “Tell me all about it,” he says.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,673
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    211
    Kudos:
    2404
    Bookmarks:
    528
    Hits:
    16975

    24 Sep 2019

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale didn't stop the apocalypse on the first try, but you know what they say... try, try again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,952
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    273
    Kudos:
    2520
    Bookmarks:
    473
    Hits:
    12552

    23 Sep 2019

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A half-step is all it takes to get Aziraphale close enough to murmur into Crowley’s ear, “Put the light out when you go to bed, and I’ll come to you.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,373
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    193
    Kudos:
    2657
    Bookmarks:
    683
    Hits:
    19461

    22 Sep 2019

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
    AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
    CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
    AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
    CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

     

    ***

    Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

    But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    460
    Kudos:
    2999
    Bookmarks:
    984
    Hits:
    16164

    22 Sep 2019

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    God considers Crowley's unyielding pining for Aziraphale, his acts during the End of the World, and his very genuine desire to protect Aziraphale, worth rewarding. She can't make him an Angel again, but She can nudge Aziraphale in the right direction.

    If nothing else, She'd really just like Crowley to stop using Her prayer inbox for endless soliloquies about Aziraphale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,040
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    566
    Kudos:
    2930
    Bookmarks:
    798
    Hits:
    17381

    21 Sep 2019

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    From the kinkmeme: "rape fantasy, Aziraphale might have fantasized a fair amount about Crowley tempting him quite forcefully, with lots of talk about how he'll be tainted, how he'll Fall just like he did so long ago. When they get together post-Apocalypse, Aziraphale shares his fantasies with Crowley and he's happy to indulge them."

    Established relationship, feat. consent, negotiation, safewords, and cuddling after.

     

    They didn’t choose a particular time or place, but that Friday, when Aziraphale let himself into his upstairs flat after a long day of refusing to sell a single book to find Crowley sprawled in the most comfortable armchair, he just sort of knew.

    “Angel,” said Crowley by way of greeting.

    “Demon,” said Aziraphale, trying hard to remember the polite, distant way he’d addressed Crowley several thousand years ago. Smiling was right out, he knew that much. He could already feel his breath quickening.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,442
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    183
    Kudos:
    3010
    Bookmarks:
    570
    Hits:
    17377

    21 Sep 2019

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley's prank to leave Aziraphale with fake eggs to babysit does not go remotely as planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,293
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    484
    Kudos:
    3438
    Bookmarks:
    764
    Hits:
    15381

    20 Sep 2019

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Because Crowley has a vexing habit of being right in matters such as these, the Glorious End does come exactly as he said it would—with Heaven and Hell joining forces to sack the Mortal Realm. And while most would probably have expected it to be inked into the Great Plan with grace and blood and tears, it's actually typed, with clear bullet points and headings, in the font Papyrus.

    "We're out of time, angel," Crowley says quietly, but it echoes in every part of Aziraphale like the Divine Word. "Has to be now."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,261
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    159
    Kudos:
    1361
    Bookmarks:
    138

    18 Sep 2019

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    (it's more likely than you think)

    Warlock "Lockie" Dowling summons a demon.

    Or, he buys a book off a suspiciously familiar bookseller and is convinced into demon summoning.

    It goes about as well as you'd expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,567
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    517
    Kudos:
    4075
    Bookmarks:
    1362
    Hits:
    16541

    17 Sep 2019

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It had never been Aziraphale's intention to found a sort of secret society of angry angels. Certainly he'd never imagined he might run a halfway house on Earth for them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,732
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    336
    Kudos:
    4114
    Bookmarks:
    1188
    Hits:
    22119

    15 Sep 2019

  16. Public Bookmark 21

    Tags
    Summary

    Nanny Ashtoreth gives Brother Francis a well-deserved spanking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2764

    15 Sep 2019

  17. Public Bookmark 19

    Tags
    Summary

    Six thousand years, and Crowley and Aziraphale still found new things to do with their time together. Sometimes, it was Crowley who came up with the inventive and filthy ideas, but more often than not it was actually Aziraphale.

    He had a love and admiration for works of art, after all. And what was more beautiful than turning his favorite person in all the worlds into a panting mess?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,701
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2369

    13 Sep 2019

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Based on the amazing image (linked as the inspiration). Each chapter is the story of a different Yelp review in the image.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,488
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    391
    Kudos:
    1397
    Bookmarks:
    234
    Hits:
    12093

    12 Sep 2019

  19. Public Bookmark 32

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale are caught in the crossfire of a new kind of cosmic war: a business restructure that threatens the lives of millions of angels and demons alike, and after an angelic Throne is mysteriously banished from God’s own court, the duo are forced to protect it from the forces of good and evil that would use it for their own gain.

    Pulled together again in the wake of new dangers, they will learn that defiance comes at a bigger cost than they ever imagined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,318
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2089

    11 Sep 2019

  20. Public Bookmark 51

    Tags
    Summary

    Heaven and Hell were never going to let them just get away with it, they're too prideful and vengeful for that. But if they can't kill their wayward angel and demon directly, what's the next best thing?

    Make them wish they were dead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,258
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    313
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    3763

    11 Sep 2019

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