Mana_Fire



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    “Who is this? Where’s Erica?”

    “Wrong number, asshole!”

    “Stop calling me an asshole,” the man on the other end snapped aggressively.

    Stiles could understand. He’d be pretty aggressive too if he’d murdered someone and texted a wrong number to ask for help burying the body. This guy obviously failed How To Be a Serial Killer 101.

    “What kind of idiot thinks I murdered someone?”

    “The kind of idiot who got your text messages, you fucking dumbass!” he retorted hotly. “Maybe double check your contacts before sending a random stranger details on your nefarious plans to dispose of a freshly cut up body!”

    “What?!” the guy on the other end demanded, crossed between horrendously confused and livid.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
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    20 Sep 2019

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I smiled all the way throughout the story.

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “The first group I sent over made the Avengers uncomfortable by thanking them constantly and asking for autographs. The next group stole things to sell on ebay. The group after that didn’t even get through the front door because Stark’s security system found something in their background that we missed. The fourth group left traumatized after cleaning out Thor’s room, apparently the god had some beheaded poultry dripping blood into a bowl in there. Then after that every group I’ve left hasn’t lasted more than three days because of some problem or another. I’m pretty sure one of those assholes has made it a game to scare my workers away.”

    “I don’t think you’re supposed to call the heroes of New York assholes.”

    Or, cleaning up after the Avengers involves more than just getting blood stains out of the carpet and most of them can't take the heat. Thankfully the Savior of the Wizarding has spent the last decade cleaning up after Death Eaters, so she's up to the task. Nothing, not pranks, bird corpses, or unidentified slime will keep her from cleaning up.

    Language:
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    169,338
    Chapters:
    32/?
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    27 May 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    This time he would not let Thorin fall to madness.
    This time he would not let them die.
    This time he knew he could handle it.
    This time he would not tolerate the wizard's carelessness.
    This time he would claim what was his.
    Bilbo Baggins was definitely not the hobbit Gandalf expected to find.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,381
    Chapters:
    38/38
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    4
    Comments:
    643
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    07 Feb 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Horcruxe hunting with the Junior hallows..... or how harry, Draco and Neville changed their lives AND futures AND brought down a dark lord at the same time.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,703
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    389
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    138
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    4286

    06 Feb 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The tale of how Sergeant Brad Colbert goes to another galaxy and finds more than he'd ever thought possible

    Words:
    241,925
    Works:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    251

    02 Feb 2019