1 - 20 of 24 Works by MadameHardy

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Which there's a corpse on the mainmast and it's bad luck and it's eaten half your coffee beans, sir!"

    Stephen Maturin's latest nondescript is a menace aboard ship. Nobody is surprised.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    750
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    57
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Patience.
    I have been patient far too long. Give her to me.

    It's not always easy having a sentient sword.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,822
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    113
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The Apocalypse is always just around the corner, but it's New Year's Eve. Let's dance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    712
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    79
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "I wrote my thesis on you..." A postlude to S5's "Checkpoint".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,902
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    74
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When last seen, our heroine had nobly de-chipped Spike, after cleverly ensuring that he couldn't retaliate against her or her friends.

    Oops.

    Sequel to Blinded With Science.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,680
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    502
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It's mid-season 4, and Willow, ever high-minded, decides to do something about Spike's chip. This is consistent with the maturity and deliberation of her other life choices.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,268
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    366
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Strider is open to any perversion, and he does mean "open" literally. Set in oxfordroulette's Catacombs AU, which I commend to your attention. Start with "Sepulcrum Romanum" for the complete experience, skip to "Vanitas Vanitatum" if you're here for the JohnDirk.

    In this AU, Dirk has portals into the Void for eyes. Go with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,729
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    694
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Was it fair to Terezi if he cheated on her with Roxy? And was it fair to Roxy if he cheated on her with Terezi? Terezi would probably say it wasn't cheating, it was quadrants. But did Roxy do quadrants? And did he want to do quadrants?

    Post-SBURB. It's hard, it's hard, and nobody understands, least of all John Egbert.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,766
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    544
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and Jake go swimming and shenanigans ensue

    This is a collaboration between seven authors, where each person writes (roughly) 500 words and then passes them along to the next person, who writes their bit and passes only their part on to the next person, and so on. The result is a bit nonsensical and very fun to read!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,653
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    881
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Underneath the paint, Kurloz Makara has the most punchable mouth Porrim Maryam has ever seen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,003
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    503
  11. Tags
    Summary

    What was going on in Jade's and Jane's heads when they were evil?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,187
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    329
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Don and Kathy go out for a night on the town, but where's Cosmo?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,219
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    134
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1065
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Jade and John have always been the best of friends, before Sburb and afterward. Now they're seniors in college, and Jade needs a small favor from the best of all possible Egberts.

    GG: its been a long dry spell!!!
    GG: no time for boyfriends or girlfriends or trollfriends or any kind of horizontalfriends!!!
    GG: i was thinking about a fusion-powered vibrator but then i thought of you!!!!
    EB: ...
    EB: thanks for the compliment.
    EB: i guess.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,009
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1987
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It's 1924; the city cousins, Rose and Dave, and the country cousins, Jade and John, keep in touch with the U.S. mail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,171
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    479
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The survivors were unable to win Monokuma's deadly game. All hope is dead, yet Ultimate Hope lives on. Naegi Makoto may be trapped in a nightmare, but he hasn't entirely given up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,077
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    424
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A 201- TED talk on the evolutionary pros and cons of humanivore relationships, accompanied by an examination of these pros and cons as illustrated by the lives and loves of Hilary Mansell and Julian Clare.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,910
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    266
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Sam Cassidy has always been useful. To the Cassidy Flock, "useful" is by no means the same as "valuable".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,372
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1082
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Kaylin Neya would really, really like to be allowed to do her job. If only her orders didn't keep getting in the way ...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    20
    Hits:
    1179
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Miss Audley has no patience with lack of organization. One expects certain standards when one is a Master Archivist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,335
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    321
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Now and Then may be closer than they sometimes appear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,346
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    742

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