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  1. Public Bookmark 4

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    After the Apocalypse doesn’t happen, things return to semi-normal for the angel and the demon. But Aziraphale finds it harder and harder to lie to himself about what he really wants. Naturally he comes up with a *scheme* rather than just communicating his feelings, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,954
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    359

    16 Nov 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?"

    Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.

    "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."

    AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    306
    Kudos:
    3096
    Bookmarks:
    936
    Hits:
    21494

    26 Oct 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley only popped into the bookshop to say goodbye.

    He might not have been thinking straight, due to that bloody great big hole where his stomach used to be.

    Aziraphale, quite rightly, refuses to let the demon pop his clogs in his bookshop of all places, thank you very much.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,749
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    1089
    Bookmarks:
    183
    Hits:
    9233

    22 Oct 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    It was…intriguing, Aziraphale had to admit. “Curiosity killed the cat,” he told himself sternly. But then, satisfaction brought it back – wasn’t that the rest of the saying? However it went, he could already tell that he would be fretting the night away if he didn’t give in to temptation.

    (Aziraphale discovers that Crowley satisfied his loneliness in the previous decade by posting intimate videos of himself online - videos that Aziraphale himself was never meant to see.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,922
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    356
    Kudos:
    1379
    Bookmarks:
    378
    Hits:
    12528

    19 Oct 2019

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault.

    Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap.

    When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks.

    Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    605
    Kudos:
    2492
    Bookmarks:
    881
    Hits:
    20560

    15 Oct 2019

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    'I need you to tell me how to find a human willing to have sex with me, and then how to persuade them to actually do it in the least unpleasant way possible for everyone involved. If I don’t manage at least one seduction, I’m going to get recalled back Down There.’

    Aziraphale stared at Crowley for a moment. ‘I think…’ he said delicately, ‘that we should have that drink.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,166
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    133
    Kudos:
    1096
    Bookmarks:
    249
    Hits:
    6048

    26 Sep 2019

  7. Public Bookmark 42

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    Aziraphale would be lying if he said that he had never tried to pose a problem to Crowley with the specific purpose of getting a solution out of him. There had been the "I would always know the stain was there", and of course the more blatant "Do something, or I’ll never talk to you again", among many others. Still, he would swear on all his earthly and remaining heavenly possessions that he hadn’t been trying it this time. It had all been Crowley.

    “We should get married, then.”

    For a second Aziraphale thought he’d been discorporated again.

    -

    In which Aziraphale struggles to find out who he is after the Notpocalypse and Darwin, a cup of coffee, an animated film, and his spasms of unconditional Love for a certain demon all help him through it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,225
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    276
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    1928

    25 Sep 2019

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    God considers Crowley's unyielding pining for Aziraphale, his acts during the End of the World, and his very genuine desire to protect Aziraphale, worth rewarding. She can't make him an Angel again, but She can nudge Aziraphale in the right direction.

    If nothing else, She'd really just like Crowley to stop using Her prayer inbox for endless soliloquies about Aziraphale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,040
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    673
    Kudos:
    3649
    Bookmarks:
    986
    Hits:
    23583

    24 Sep 2019

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Angel, what’s wrong?”

    Aziraphale stays standing stubbornly before giving in with a sigh and sliding down next to Crowley. “Oh, I don’t know. I’m sorry for being…cross…it’s just that, well…”

    He looks at Crowley rather helplessly, like one might look at another before delivering the news of a terminally ill pet or the loss of all their retirement savings.

    “Somebody bought a book.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,787
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    841
    Bookmarks:
    162
    Hits:
    4025

    24 Sep 2019

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “It’s just,” he continued, “I’ve noticed that humans—some humans, anyway—they use that word, angel, as a…well, as a sort of…endearment.”

    “Do they?” said Crowley, who had invented using the word as an endearment in the 13th century AD.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,520
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    261
    Kudos:
    2171
    Bookmarks:
    562
    Hits:
    11408

    22 Sep 2019

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "I've never met anyone as stupid as you," Crowley says, sounding somewhere between exhausted and impressed. "You're never going to Hell again."

    "I hope so," Aziraphale manages, his voice coming out muffled.

    "That wasn't a suggestion, angel."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    1269
    Bookmarks:
    244
    Hits:
    7452

    22 Sep 2019

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
    AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
    CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
    AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
    CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

     

    ***

    Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

    But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    594
    Kudos:
    4306
    Bookmarks:
    1398
    Hits:
    24642

    17 Sep 2019

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley arrives injured at Aziraphale's door. He takes care of him, reads him an awful lot of Mary Oliver, and knits elaborate metaphors for his insecurities (literally).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,126
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    259
    Kudos:
    3505
    Bookmarks:
    1129
    Hits:
    28935

    01 Sep 2019

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The first kiss is only the beginning of a relationship. Crowley and Aziraphale need to talk about things. That is not their strong suit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,262
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    175
    Kudos:
    1910
    Bookmarks:
    397
    Hits:
    13453

    01 Sep 2019

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Crowley likes giving Aziraphale things. Whatever he wants, actually.

    Which, happily, includes Crowley himself, as it turns out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,321
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    337
    Kudos:
    3024
    Bookmarks:
    710
    Hits:
    25509

    30 Aug 2019

  16. Public Bookmark 66

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    Summary

    Crowley has been writing songs since humans invented music. He wrote the first love song. And he wrote it for Aziraphale.

    Unfortunately, it takes Aziraphale six-thousand years to notice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,172
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    285
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    2727

    28 Aug 2019

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale visits a modern art gallery, goes on a diet, and submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known. Not necessarily in that order.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,072
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    153
    Kudos:
    3441
    Bookmarks:
    711
    Hits:
    19805

    25 Aug 2019

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale tries to murder him on a Wednesday.

    In which Aziraphale has a proposition and Crowley nearly has a stroke.

    AKA: The almost murder of one Anthony Janthony Crowley at the hands of an adorably oblivious angel.
    AKA: How many tropes can I fit into one story without giving myself a migraine?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,545
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    714
    Bookmarks:
    118
    Hits:
    4250

    21 Aug 2019

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale has affections and literary opinions which run counter to the will of Heaven. Crowley is mostly just jealous.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,729
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    834
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    5651

    21 Aug 2019

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    i'm spilling wine in the bathtub
    you kiss my face and we're both drunk
    everyone thinks that they know us
    but they know nothing about
    all of this silence and patience
    pining and anticipation
    my hands are shaking from holding back from you

    // taylor swift, "dress"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,679
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    190
    Kudos:
    3026
    Bookmarks:
    566
    Hits:
    16592

    21 Aug 2019

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