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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Oh yes,” Crowley said breezily. “This is my husband, Francis. He’s a gardener by trade. We were hoping you might have an opening. An estate such as this.”

    Aziraphale gaped from where he stood on the stoop, feeling his heart speed up. Husband? Francis? Gardener? He’d never agreed to any of this!

    **

    In which Aziraphale and Crowley pretend to be married while they stay at the Dowlings as Nanny and Francis.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,886
    Chapters:
    15/15
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    15 Sep 2022

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “How dare you!” Aziraphale shouts.

    “It’s not personal!” the demon shouts back, peeking around the edge of the bookshelf. Aziraphale flings a blessing at him, but he jerks back before it can land. “I was assigned to you.”

    “I’ll smite you back to Hell, you—you—snake!”

    “Funny you should say that,” the demon mutters, before lifting his voice again. “Or how about we carry on what we’re doing and not attract the attention from Downstairs, yeah? Or Upstairs, for that matter.”
     

    Or: Aziraphale has been assigned to secure The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. He really shouldn’t have been surprised to learn that Hell had an agent of their own assigned to him.

    Luckily for him, Crowley is a dreadful spy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,840
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    196
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    646
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    15 Sep 2022

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    ‘I assume your punishment involved the destruction of the demon, but I am not aware of the details,’ says the Angel. ‘The description was redacted from your file and labelled “Highly Classified” with a red stamp.’

    *

    Aziraphale is trying to mourn in peace, but the cause of his grief keeps bothering him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,458
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    410
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    2068
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    678
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    15 Sep 2022

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Names had a peculiar sort of power. Naming something formed its nature, in a way. There had been no angel of the eastern gate before the Almighty spoke the name “Aziraphale;” a fallen angel had not become a creeping serpent until he heard the name “Crawly.”

    But nature also informed the connotations of a name. The thousands of cheated merchants, scandalized priests and scathingly-reviewed poets who had uttered the name “Crowley!” in anger throughout the years had given the name its dark and bitter taste.

    Anthonys, however, remained relentlessly ordinary. Anthonys were greengrocers, maths teachers, nervous and lovestruck young men who wore glasses and could hardly speak to the objects of their affections.

    If “Crowley” was ninety percent pure cacao, “Anthony” was at best milk chocolate.

    Language:
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    6,054
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    15 Sep 2022

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He hadn’t expected a sudden lapful of angel.

    “Very sorry about this,” Aziraphale said, and kissed him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,400
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    15 Sep 2022