King_City_Witch

surreal



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    'Alone this Yuletide? Irritated with prying and nosey family members?

    I am an out of work blacksmith currently trying to make my way by any means necessary that does not involve my resorting to thievery (prisons are most uncomfortable, I've unfortunate first hand experience). However, if you would like me to be your strictly platonic companion for any social function, but have me pretend that we are in a serious courtship, so as to torment your family and ward off unwanted suitors then I am more than obliging...'

    After becoming increasingly irritated by overtures of romance from various Shire residents following the death of his mother four years ago, Bilbo is more than ready to resort to desperate measures. That is, up to and including pretending to be in a serious relationship with a certain surly blacksmith currently inhabiting the Bindbale Woods.

    It's a good idea after all; all they have to do is pretend to be in love over the Yuletide period and Bilbo's family and suitors will surely leave him alone after that. It's perfect! And nothing can possibly go wrong, right? Certainly nothing as preposterous as falling for one another for real...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,194
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    1188
    Kudos:
    2296
    Bookmarks:
    574
    Hits:
    30626

    28 Nov 2018

  2. Public Bookmark 98

    Summary

    Bilbo thinks he has nothing of Thorin (guess again, Half-ling) ... Everyone thinks Thorin is dead and buried (take another guess, people) ... Lobelia wants to use the situation to her advantage (nothing new there) ... and it will take Three dead (not really) Royal-Dwarves, coming to the Shire, looking for their burglar, to set everything right (took them long enough!)

    This is the one where Bilbo has Thorin's child and I play around with dates, ages, canon and lives!

    Words:
    32,786
    Works:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    98

    27 Nov 2018

  3. Public Bookmark 53

    Words:
    6,107
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    53

    17 Oct 2018