IHaveNeverBeenWise

ze/zir pronouns



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    “Stop it with the heartbeat thing, Matt. Seriously, it’s creepy. And invasive. And disrespectful.”

    He wasn’t ever trying to be creepy about it. It wasn’t something he even paid much attention to anymore. He was always hyper-aware of Foggy’s heartbeat. He used it to ground himself, to block out the rest of the input he got and keep himself from being overwhelmed. Finding ways to filter out all the input his senses bombarded him with was vital to his sanity, to his ability to function and to any chance of sleep he had.

    It helped, Foggy helped, even when he didn’t know it.

    But now he did know and he didn’t like it. He wanted Matt to stop, so that was what he would try to do. Things were so tenuous between them, Matt knew from the way Foggy’s voice sounded when he said it that if Matt didn’t stop it would drive the rift between them impossibly and maybe even irrevocably deeper. He loved Foggy too much to let that happen – he loved Foggy too much in general.

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    12 Jan 2019

  2. Public Bookmark 86

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    1985. Four years after the death of his friends, Remus decides to break out of the pattern of his post-war life and try living among Muggles. In a sleepy town in southern England and the bustling city of London, he tries to build a new life for himself, piece by piece. The more he sees of the Muggle world, the more Remus wonders if that structure is as stable as he would like to think it is.

    “The Survivor” is set in Thatcherite Britain, in the wake of the Falklands War and the onset of the British AIDS epidemic. It explores themes of disease, stigma, war trauma and grief, reflecting both on the historical context of the 1980s and Rowling’s characterisation of Remus Lupin.

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    18 Aug 2017

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    “Moony,” James said after a moment, equally quiet. “There’s a difference between – what happens to you – and, y’know, crying a lot and shouting and eating weird food and everything.”

    “I know,” Remus said, forcing lightness into his tone. He looked up. Peter was staring at him, James looking on with concern, but Sirius’ grey eyes were fixed firmly on the ground. He straightened up, suddenly regretting saying anything at all. “Anyway,” he said firmly, eager to move on. “The question is what to do about the girls.”

    (In which James isn't Florence Nightingale, Sirius isn't avoiding Remus, and Remus is absolutely not Having Feelings about his best friend. He might, however, have accidentally become the de facto advisor for all things monthly in the castle.)

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    30 Jul 2017

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    Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there. In 1985, Remus Lupin realizes that Sirius Black is innocent. Now, he just has to prove it.

    (written for the 2009 RS Games, Team AU)

    Now featuring original illustrations by the fabulously talented glaciergrace.

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    28 Jul 2017

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    1986: After Harry's power starts manifesting, the Dursleys want nothing more to do with him. Dumbledore decides to find someone better suited to raising him.

    “I thought perhaps you might raise Harry.”

    “Me?”

    “Who better? I had my reasons for sending him to the home of his relatives, but I am not so hard-headed an old man that I can’t admit when a plan is not working.”

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    19 Jul 2017