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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “We should practice kissing,” announces Yong Ha, all breezy confidence, as though this is a remotely sensible suggestion.

    Jae Shin lowers his book and peers incredulously through his tangled hair. “...what?”

    Yong Ha is lying on his back staring up at the sky, his garments a splash of fuchsia and lime on the grass, like some elegant and wayward butterfly. “It’s what everyone does,” he says, smiling over at Jae Shin pityingly. They have been best friends for six years, and Yong Ha is much better at people than Jae Shin will ever be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,638
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    614
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Saving people, hunting things: the family business.

    Modern AU: the Nies are hit by a demon's death curse, which is NOT fuck or die - it's fuck AND die, a kind of reverse cultivation curse that's usually directed against cultivation partners, destroying their golden cores little by little every time they fuck.

    NOT a clever curse to use against brothers!

    ...except that the curse comes with a chaser: its targets share blisteringly horny sex dreams every night, as a way of encouraging them to go ahead and give in to the whole fuck-and-die schtick.

    Awkward.

    So it makes sense to search for a cure to the curse, right? Especially since the cure might actually help stabilise Mingjue's golden core.

    Obviously they have no intention of actually boning once they've got rid of the whole fuck-and-die curse...

    (...for the life of me I can't remember who suggested a Fuck AND Die trope on Twitter many weeks ago - evidently it has been living rent free in the back of my head ever since, though, and so here we have some Niecest.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,955
    Chapters:
    8/10
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    234
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    3308
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Podfic of Veni, Vici, Veni

    Mingjue has been working too much, so Huaisang brings him lunch and a special surprise. Huaisang's motives aren't entirely altruistic...

    (Inspired by ‘Virtual Virtue’)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    956
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Modern AU: Mingjue and Xichen are living in different cities, no longer entirely boyfriends as such, more in a best-friends-sort-of-dating-long-distance-in-an-open-relationship scenario. But in practice this largely involves having long distance phone sex most nights while both watching the same porn.

    Which, for several months now, has mostly meant watching a sunny little femmeboi called A Yao, who has dimples to die for, an Only Fans page, an endless supply of stockings and dildos, and the kind of flexibility that makes your eyes water.

    Mingjue and Xichen are maybe just a little obsessed with the idea of wrecking him.

    Lately, A Yao has started including his roommate "Xiao Tang" in his shoots - with his face pixelated, because Xiao Tang is shy, and is not entirely ready to be internet famous in this way.

    Mingjue and Xichen are both extremely enthusiastic about this turn of events.

    Which is going to be a little awkward in the immediate future...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,995
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    328
    Kudos:
    917
    Bookmarks:
    153
    Hits:
    8629
  5. Tags
    Summary

    There are some certainties, some unquestioned truths, some comforting stories about yourself that can only survive just so long as you’re very careful to never, ever think about them too hard - because the moment that you do, it becomes immediately obvious that they were always lies.

    Mingue finds his own self-image abruptly reshaping itself around him late one night when he comes with his cock buried to the hilt in Meng Yao’s ass, gasping out his little brother’s name.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,714
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    705
    Bookmarks:
    87
    Hits:
    6446
  6. Tags
    Summary

    On Twitter @vorareme said:

     

    chengxian thought: turnip sales aren't cutting it, so wwx freelances out of a yiling brothel. jc, blowing off steam on one of his periodic trips to check up on him, asks for whatever the madam recommends and, welp, there's his brother. jc writes this off as a charitable donation.

     

    I did not intend to put any further thought into this but just like, the idea of the moments where wwx is still laughing off the coincidence and jc has already decided to go through with it, to insist, and wwx
    slowly
    slowly
    gets there

     

    (The only writing I’ve done this year, between family stuff and the pandemic fun times, has been dashed-off improvised chatfic, of which this is one. I’ve polished it up a little bit, but it’s still basically a humble wee prompt fill. Any infelicities are my own.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,666
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    505
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    3382
  7. Tags
    Summary

    So the Chaos Poem challenge just took a twist into yet more ridiculous territory, with the notion of trying to make this monstrous tongue twister sexy. Idk idk - Apparently this is what I do in Quarantine.

    http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

    “Dearest creature in creation
    Studying English pronunciation,
    I will teach you in my verse
    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

    I will keep you, Susy, busy,
    Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
    Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
    Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer....”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    199
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’

    ‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    4754
  9. Tags
    Summary

    So Bonibaru said:

     

    "Where is the Pern AU in which WWX's sleek black dragon, outcast among his kind for his colour and intelligence, ends up the one to entwine LWJ's great golden queen in a mating flight so intense it's sung about Weyrwide for generations to come (never where small children can hear)?"

    ...and apparently teenage McCaffrey-fan me felt like this was an excellent idea, and worth interrupting the other WIPs I'm currently working on to have a quick scribble at. So, uh - yeah. Pern AU, basically, because dragons yay?

    BELATEDLY, A WARNING:

    I have no particular plans for how (or if!) I’m going to write sex scenes, but if you are going to lose your shit over who tops and who bottoms, just - do yourself a favour and don’t read anything I write?

    Kthxby.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,824
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    450
    Kudos:
    1157
    Bookmarks:
    331
    Hits:
    11686
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Essentially: LWJ's mom and WWX's mom ON THE RUN with THEIR KIDS.

    (...and also MY's mom. And any other goddamn moms who need help. Get in the fucking car, ladies, we're saving everybody)

    Because here's the thing: LWJ's mother was a cultivator who killed her future-husband's teacher. And I think we all have a pretty damn good idea what might have gone down to provoke that, and why the Lan menfolk never actually explain what precipitated this act of extreme violence, and thus we can probably take a stab at why a perhaps-newly-pregnant lady* might end up agreeing to a marriage of convenience with some guy she really wasn't into, who was determined to keep her locked up in a pleasant little prison in Gusu. And I'd like to say "aww, bless him, he saved his unrequited crush all selflessly like, even though they didn't then live together as husband and wife"....but he subsequently knocked her up with a second child. :/

    The ladies in MDZS tend to have a pretty shitty time, so this fic is pulling a goddamn Fury Road and scooping them up and taking them off to form their own Ye Olde Themyscira-ish Rogue Sect of ladies looking out for other ladies.

    (*obvs this is my headcanon.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,573
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    847
    Kudos:
    1735
    Bookmarks:
    655
    Hits:
    23939
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Written for the Reverse Big Bang Challenge, to illustrate the beautiful art work below, by Saph0000 (qr-sa on tumblr).

    Her prompt was to write something about WWX and LWJ ascending to become deities; I took the liberty of slightly crossing over MDZS with Heaven Official's Blessing for the worldbuilding, and set myself the goal of bringing a smile to the faces of Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen.

    So: a story in which the newly-ascended bunny gods set out to give Jiang Cheng's love life a boost, and find a way of cheering up Lan Xichen along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,614
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    89
    Kudos:
    1142
    Bookmarks:
    345
    Hits:
    11536
  12. Tags
    Summary

    I'm filling my own damn prompt, because of course I am.

    Short Guardian/Star Trek fusion AU:

    Zhao Yunlan is a sassy devil-may care human star ship captain, and Shen Wei is a mysterious Vulcan envoy. Memories! Time travel! True love! Confusion! Evil twins! Possibly even pon farr, who the hell knows?

    It's the Black Cloaked Envoy and the SID team IN SPACE! Set your phasers to slash, kids!

    (I'm guessing there will be three or four chapters in total - don't know what rating we're looking at, tbh.)

    NOTE: ooooh shit, this was just supposed to be a quick vignettey thing with possibly kissing or indeed porn, but, uh - it seems to be developing a bit of a life of its own, so I am absolutely winging this in terms of plot, & I may find that I need to go back and edit a trifle to make plotty/worldbuildy things hang together. Please accept my apologies (and do feel free to point out errors of spelling/typos).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,196
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1080
  13. Tags
    Summary

    So there was this bloody photoshoot for the Nie brothers' actors, and...idk idk. It may have broken me.

    https://www.dropbox.com/s/bnxhvd2opu0yhw2/IMG_8179.JPG?dl=0

    And then there was a sort of frenzy of collaborative porn-writing in DMs on Twitter, featuring modern AUs, and that led in a roundabout way to this.

     

    Modern AU: Nie Huaisang is at University, studying business (as is his duty) rather than Fine Arts (his passion).

    He is also, however, moonlighting as a photographic artist anonymously posting a series of high-end erotic self portraits, under the nom de guerre of FanBoy, in which his face is never visible.

    He's posting porn online, basically. But it's none of your trashy amateur shit - it's GORGEOUS.

    Nie Mingjue has a certain "type" (the details of which he chooses very carefully not to reflect upon) and as such he very swiftly becomes the number one fan of this mysterious photographer/model.

    Identity porn and actual porn and angst and more porn ensue.

    (Halp. I am going to the special hell.)

    (I apologise for any and all egregious errors about life in China in the ensuing fiction. I’m undoubtedly making some terrible gaffes.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,850
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    330
    Kudos:
    1799
    Bookmarks:
    368
    Hits:
    18136
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Tiny tiny angsty poem, inspired by Ocean Vuong:

    O minute hand, teach me
    how to hold a man the way thirst
    holds water.

    Ocean Vuong, A Little Closer to the Edge

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    184
  15. Tags
    Summary

    In which Aziraphale would very much like to actually have dinner with Crowley. He just needs to provide a very particular menu.

    Written for the kink meme. Because I hadn't seen it this way round and it was a terrible tragedy. It's all very romantic, it is, you know it is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1690
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Lans are always sorted into Ravenclaw.

     

    Lan Zhan has been worrying about this intensely all the way from Cloud Recesses, because if the Sorting Hat does not put him into Ravenclaw, that means he is letting down the Lan Clan, and disappointing his ancestors, and it means he won’t be in the same House as Lan Huan Er-ge, which will be Bad.

     

    (Hogwarts Fusion AU - Cultivation Wuxia world and the Potterverse stuffed in a blender, basically - kiiinda Ancient China, but not. And the Twin Jades of Lan are part-Veela, because of course they are.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,807
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    596
    Bookmarks:
    116
    Hits:
    5049
  17. Tags
    Summary

    In which Lan Sizhui has a cunning plan to lure Lan Xichen out of seclusion. A small, precious, helpless, adorable, fluffy plan.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    635
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    348
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    1629
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Character study: in which Jiang Cheng’s greatest tragedy is, perhaps, the fact that Wei Wuxian always loved him like a brother.

    Jiang Cheng had never wanted Wei Wuxian to be his brother.

    “Your father thinks that he can just bring his by-blows here, into my house, and expect me to look the other way,” muttered Yu Ziyuan, glaring out across the water to where Wei Ying was laughing in a boat with Jiang Yanli. “He thinks that I have such a thick face that I will just brazen it out, no matter what people say behind my back.”

    “Mother,” protested Jiang Cheng, unhappily. “Mother, he isn’t. You know he isn’t. They were just friends, Father and that lady. He said so, on his honour.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,377
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    2109
    Bookmarks:
    419
    Hits:
    12717
  19. Tags
    Summary

    So BlablaishBlabla asked:

     

    Wait... Does the whole daemon being somehow related to the golden core mean that Wen Ying no longer has a daemon?!

     

    And I Had Thoughts about how Wen Ning would fit into this verse, so - another bit of the Daemon AU.

    (WWX/LWJ is backgroundy & implicit here, rather than the focus, as this is a Wen Ning-centric companion piece to The Grand Master of Daemonic Cultivation.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,415
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    1100
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    5600
  20. Tags
    Summary

    So on Twitter I mentioned I’d love to read a daemon AU of MDZS.

    And Kim said “Daemon fic - can you IMAGINE what WWX's daemon has gone through?!?!?”

    And I didn’t really get it, until she added:

    “I'm actually thinking more along the lines that with cultivators, daemons are linked to their golden core.

    so.”

    And then I burst into tears. Because how could Jiang Cheng not know his “new” daemon was Wei Wuxian’s? And how could WWX hide his own loss? And a whole new world of knives unfolded before me, so here is a window into that AU, through a series of vignettes, as posted on Twitter.

    With thanks to those who were reading and responding on Twitter along with me.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    2278
    Bookmarks:
    483
    Hits:
    11830

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