ElevenEvilOranges



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  1. Public Bookmark 37

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    Summary

    The sequel to "A Dramatic Reading" by White Squirrel - join Hogwarts and invited Ministry guests as they continue with a public reading of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", by J.K. Rowling. Features an actual plot, realistic reactions, decent pacing, *minimal quotations*, and White Squirrel's permission.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,099
    Chapters:
    5/18
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    1228

    17 Jun 2018

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1125
    Kudos:
    4346
    Bookmarks:
    1713
    Hits:
    97476

    24 May 2017

  3. Public Bookmark 61

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    Summary

    Will and friends read and react to the Ranger's Apprentice series (but not book 12). Takes place shortly after Lost Stories.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    144,011
    Chapters:
    49/?
    Comments:
    125
    Kudos:
    506
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    8045

    22 May 2017

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,660
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    462
    Kudos:
    1149
    Bookmarks:
    442

    10 Apr 2017

  5. Public Bookmark 79

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    Summary

    In which Matt finds out his two soulmates are siblings and work for Fisk and he may or may not (but he so does) have a kink for the Russian language and the Ranskahov brothers find out their missing soulmate is the Man in the Mask.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,455
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    492
    Bookmarks:
    79
    Hits:
    5569

    21 Nov 2015