DameJ



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    Face all twisted up into an epic bitchface, Sam complains, “You call me a rabbit and then make bacon for dinner when I ask for a veggie-based meal, but Cas just gets a ‘You got it”?”

     

    There are several things that Dean could have responded with. He could have said something about how it was Cas who most recently came back from the dead, or about how the new human gets priority to try whatever he wants, he even could have just flipped his brother off and left it at that. But Dean was already frustrated when he walked into the room, he’d gotten more frustrated at dealing with a sex question from a five-year-old (even if he had handled that well in the moment), and then Cas talking about oral sex with his perfect mouth had fried his brain entirely. So yeah, he could have said any of that, but he doesn’t. What he does say is “Yeah, well you’re not the one I’m in love with bitch.”

     

    “I’m your brother!” Sam says indignantly like Dean hadn’t just dropped the absolute a-bomb of a secret he’s been carrying around for years right there on the floor in front of him. In front of Cas.

     

    “No you don’t” whispers Cas

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    30 Nov 2021

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Dean is forced to deal with his trauma and come to a reckoning with himself. Also, Cas is there.

    See notes for more specific Content Warnings.

    *** *** ***

    "No one hates you as much as you do," Crowley told him once. That's Dean's whole M.O. right there. His two fundamental truths are that it is his job to save everyone, and that no matter how many people he saves it will never change the fact that he is 90% crap.

    Dean knows who he is. Yeah, he's done some good for the world, okay, he gets that. But deep down? The person he is inside is still worthless. Dean will never be good enough, never be any kind of role model. He's never going to shake that, so if that's what this whole seven trials angelic bullshit is about, then he and Cas might as well hold hands and drive off the cliff now.

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    27 Nov 2021

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    Two months after Team Free Will beats Chuck, Jack brings Cas back and Dean wants so badly to respond to Cas's confession in the dungeon, but to do that he needs to shed a lifetime of trauma, self hatred, and internalized homophobia. After moving in to a farmhouse with Cas, Dean secretly starts going to therapy every Thursday afternoon. He also starts working on getting the tattoos he always wanted in an effort to reclaim a body that he's only ever seen as a tool.

    or

     

    Cas stole Dean's favorite Zeppelin shirt, Dean steals it back, Cas steals it again. A shirt-theft war like nothing you've ever seen ensues. The entire family takes sides. Is it foreplay? Yes. Is it good clean family fun? Sometimes. Are Jack's god powers used unwisely in the name of the Zepp shirt battle? Yeah, probably. Is Dean messier than a sloppy joe? Nooooo, not at all.

     

    This fic starts out like it's going to be Serious Business (and parts of it are), but it's mostly ridiculous fluff and Dean finally allowing himself to be soft.

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    26 Nov 2021

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    Cas is gone and Dean doesn't know how to deal. Sunk deep into the worst depression he's ever been through Dean only pulls himself together when Jack comes to visit, intent on repairing his relationship with Castiel's son.
    Eventually, as a result of an offhanded comment Sam makes, Dean begins to dream of a better future and becomes determined to rescue Castiel from the Empty. It's a rough go, but he's successful and Cas is back.

    Fed nightmares during his time in the darkness of an angel's afterlife, Castiel doesn't believe that Dean is real. Refusing to speak or to come out of the literal closet, will Cas let Dean persuade him that he really is saved?

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    25 Nov 2021

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    "Fine, whatever. Love you too, asshole. I hope you enjoy your walk home with your stupid, grainy bread. Taking Nature's Own a little too much to heart, but sure," Dean tells him, flashing him a sarcastic smile and swiveling around in the aisle to march away. He throws out something over his shoulder, careless and barbed. "I'm not paying for that shitty cardboard." 

    Dean's three aisles over when he realizes what, precisely, he said. Thankfully, when he comes to this conclusion, he's holding a box of poptarts, so when he fumbles and drops them to the floor, it's not a huge mess. He stares down at the slightly dented box of Brown Sugar Poptarts, and he has a very swift and very unshakeable crisis right there and then. 

    Love you too, asshole. 

    No, no, no. Why would he say that? Why would he do that? In the middle of the goddamn grocery store while arguing about bread? That's not—that can't be how it happens. That can't be. 

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    23 Nov 2021