Catastrophic_Mastermind



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

    --His clothing was expensive and stylish;
    --He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;
    --His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”
    --He looked angry;
    --He was wearing sunglasses.

    What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,421
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1282
    Kudos:
    1948
    Bookmarks:
    586
    Hits:
    14784

    05 Oct 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Who would win: Aziraphale or Crowley.”

    “Oh!” Aziraphale startles. “Well—such a question. It’s not as though either of us has engaged in so much as fisticuffs in ages, and one does need to keep up practice with these sorts of things.” His fretting dies abruptly when Crowley cuts over him clearly, baldly: “Aziraphale.”

    Aziraphale’s mouth clicks shut, and he goes so still that the group is forcibly reminded that ethereal beings don’t technically need to breathe, have a heartbeat, or even metabolize energy to exist. Beside him, Crowley’s stiffened up and his lips pull back from his teeth in a toe-curling wince.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,739
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    592
    Bookmarks:
    167
    Hits:
    2892

    02 Oct 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Written for Ineffable Husbands Week 2019, "Trip" prompt (and also for fun). Crowley gets Summoned by a teenage girls' slumber party. Everyone has far more on their minds than they've wanted to admit, even to their closest friends. Also, pajamas, hair and makeup, manicures.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,012
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    285
    Kudos:
    529
    Bookmarks:
    109
    Hits:
    3168

    30 Sep 2019

  4. Public Bookmark 23

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    Crowley and Aziraphale after the UnApocalypse, being happily drunk and considering ideas for what to do with themselves now that the world has astonishingly failed to end. The answer they come up with? Beethoven.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,520
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    660

    27 Sep 2019

  5. Public Bookmark 65

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    Aziraphale's bookshop and Crowley's Bentley have become quite close over the years. Keeping an eye on one wayward principality and one vaguely sauntering demon isn't the easiest job, but someone's got to do it. Especially when, post-Armadidn't, Heaven and Hell decide that Aziraphale and Crowley need to be dealt with. But they've picked a fight with the wrong car and bookshop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,745
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    207
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    65
    Hits:
    1966

    26 Sep 2019