CaptainTightPants



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    There are no words adequate to describe the Last Homely House or the wonders of Lord Elrond’s hospitality, which seems impossible to strain even under the burden of thirteen empty dwarfish stomachs and their even more trying attitudes.

    Having played hostess to those same stomachs in her time, Briar is duly impressed and endeavors to add to the burden as little as possible. This is made somewhat more difficult by the fact that elves, apparently, are better able to differentiate between hobbit gentlemen and hobbit ladies that dwarves seem to be. A fact Briar learned when Lord Elrond pulled her to one side after their meal and put her into the hands of his daughter and her women with a gentle smile.

    Briar feels that she probably owes him a swift kick in the shins for that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,273
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
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    29 Apr 2018

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Thorin Oakenshield slowly wakes to the sounds of Bilbo and his nephews talking softly, colder and heavier than he has ever been in his life, but before he can get a word out Bilbo is punching him square on the nose. Quite rightly, as it turns out, because he's been dead for a week and has just sat up in his tomb with no warning whatsoever.

    Following the aftermath of the Battle of the Five Armies where Thorin must fight with his own guilt and mind over his choices and what they mean and meant, where he must decide whether or not to rule, and how to live with himself after dying. Focusing on many different characters and relationships, as well as building on the lore of Erebor and Middle Earth. A story about coming home.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    152,153
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    644
    Kudos:
    1371
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    481
    Hits:
    50963

    28 Apr 2018

  3. Public Bookmark 3

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    After Fifth, Sam sees flashes at the edge of her vision -- broken equations, forgotten memories, unfamiliar experiences which blur into ghosts. All staring at her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,460
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
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    14
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    3
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    26 Mar 2018

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "I want to go home," Myrtle wailed loudly the moment Bilbo picked his way up the gravel slope to the Ereborean dragon pens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,864
    Chapters:
    19/19
    Comments:
    519
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    1744
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    620
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    25 Mar 2018

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Thorin jammed his phone back into his coat with a touch more force than was really necessary as he let himself into his penthouse apartment at the top of Erebor Tower. A disastrous day reassuring shareholders over the ramifications of the Keystone executive decision - which in Thorin’s opinion had no real fucking bearing on Erebor Inc at all, so fucking what if the Obama administration was pushing a climate change agenda - had culminated in that ridiculous Independent tweet fiasco.

    Which had naturally, given the nature of the internet, promptly gone viral. Thorin was going to murder the editor at the Independent. Slowly. Contemplating the intricacies of hiring professional hitmen, Thorin shouldered off his suit jacket, stalking over to his bedroom to hang it on the rack, and stopped dead on his way through the living room when he saw Bilbo in the kitchen, produce arranged in neat piles on the benchtop, arms dusty with flour to the elbows, shirt sleeves rolled high.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,211
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    1441
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    14154

    24 Mar 2018