AnathemaPulsifer



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  1. Public Bookmark 62

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    “Well, Pulsifer, I can say with confidence I know exactly what’s wrong with your car.”

    “Oh? What’s wrong?” Newt peered down, looking at the undercarriage, as most people do who want to help but have absolutely no skill in basic car repair.

    “It’s shit.”

    (An anthology collection of the times Anthony J. Crowley, retired demon and occasional slumber party guest, and Aziraphale, forcefully instated Guardian Angel of the downtrodden, get summoned to deal with humanity. Chapters will be added as I come up with weird ways they're summed, though prompts are welcome)

    Language:
    English
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    29,723
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    54
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    289
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    62
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    08 Nov 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Objectively, losing the Bucharest safehouse and its contents was the least of Bucky’s problems. The balding agent he’d seen directing the raid was apparently affiliated with SHIELD, which was a shadowy government agency that made representatives from other shadowy government agencies suddenly remember urgent appointments when Bucky tried to bribe, threaten, and otherwise shake them down for information on what the hell SHIELD might want with a former brainwashed assassin. Dodging SHIELD should be his number one priority.

    Subjectively, he wanted his fucking cat back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,881
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
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    941
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    202
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    04 Nov 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Five times Crowley was not allowed to love Aziraphale, and one time he succeeded.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,921
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    274
    Kudos:
    671
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    158
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    3505

    01 Nov 2019

  4. Rec 80

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    “I… suppose… you could stay,” he finally murmured. He scraped his teeth over his tongue, as though he’d tasted something nasty. It stuck in his cheeks, even. “This is not a kindness,” he growled at the baby. “This is pure, unadulterated self-interest! I’m going to raise you to lo—” He choked. “Lo— lov— fucking like the world enough not to destroy it.”

     

    Having kidnapped the infant Antichrist, Crowley finds himself hunted by both sides eager for their war. Desperate, he turns to the only being on Earth who might be able to help him: a Fallen angel playing vintner in Provence.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,126
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    135
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    303
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    80
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    1796

    25 Oct 2019

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  5. Public Bookmark 59

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    Aziraphale was meant to spread harmony, a purpose he could not fulfill in his terrifying angelic form. When Heaven's attempts to create a corporeal form failed, he was born into the world like any human, only realizing his power and purpose when Heaven Called.

    Then, like any human, he died. And then was born again. And again. And again.

    OR

    Every generation Heaven and Hell each selected a child to be the Vessel and when the time came that the angel or the demon was needed, they were Called.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,971
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    29
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    295
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    59
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    1633

    22 Oct 2019