trigger warning for graphic depictions of mortuary work
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Your name is Dave Strider, and it takes you a while to settle back into this timeline when your eyes open. Two minutes ago you were wearing a sharp red suit, fighting mutant clown creatures that bled ink, and thirteen years old. When you wake up you are in boxers and an undershirt damp with sweat, tangled in the fine sheets on your king-sized bed, and thirty-four years old.
You have the depressing notion that this is the worse of the two scenarios.