then a commentary by accident
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"Merlin always knew he was different in more ways than one. His discrepancies were secrets to be guarded with his life, as Mother said. The first was painfully obvious - Merlin had magic. He couldn't recall a time when he didn’t wield it. ‘Wield’ was a loaded term, though. It was hardly controllable, bending to his emotions rather than his will."
"The second was of a different nature completely. Frankly, Merlin didn’t really understand what exactly the secret was. According to his mother, even though he was a boy, his body more resembled that of a girl. Merlin knew for certain that he was a boy, but he didn’t quite get what made him so, or what would have made him a girl if that’s what he’d been. Yet, Merlin was as sure of being a son as the Sun is bright."