that's the plot
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"Not that lubed-up Q-tips aren’t the sexiest thing in the world, but I kinda want to know what it’s like, you know. To be impaled on your huge dick without actually being impaled.”
“It was about to get sexy there, but you shot the mood right in the face.”
In which Stiles is a faerie and Derek is sick and tired of not being able to fuck him.
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Tony Stark is Terrible at Giving Presents; She is Also Great at Giving Presents by CharlieBradbury
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
10 Oct 2013
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Tony thought she was being a good friend, a good coworker, when she left a gift for Stella while she was off on a European business trip.
Who knew the Gal with a Plan would take such offense to it? Geeze.
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“I’m Niall, King of Hell, technically – Hello.”
Series
- Part 1 of A Lot Like Hell
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Frank honestly didn’t know that getting your hand stuck in a vending machine could end up getting you laid, but the world is a strange and beautiful place.
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The sergeant licked his lips, taking in the soft, but firm, curve of the man’s bare legs and the sharp lines of his strong shoulders. Well, he was more interested in what was covering them. One of Ed’s shirts, a couple sizes too big even for the older sniper, was hanging off the bomb tech’s frame. It pretty much swallowed him, a sharp contrast from the tight fitting SRU gear he was usually seen with.
Series
- Part 9 of OT4- Greg/Ed/Sam/Spike
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Tsukishima and Yamaguchi go on a date with Shimizu and Yachi. Yachi and Yamaguchi are adorable.
Series
- Part 1 of Tsukkiyama Week 2015
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"Ah, but unlearned poise was a delicate thing, and a slip of the tongue or flick of the wrist could surely teach the girl a lesson she should have already digested with the bites of her steak."
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'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”
Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.
“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."
or,
Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.
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Honestly, how was he supposed to know what liquid was coffee and what was apparently a dog potion?
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- Part 1 of Tumblr Prompts and Fics
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In which Taehyung keeps dozing off on the roof, Hoseok won’t stop screaming about some muggle-band called SNSD, Namjoon misses half of his classes and Yoongi can’t get their attention for long enough to explain that no, he isn’t actually cold and heartless, he just likes boys.
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"did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker"
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"You're seriously going to sell your soul for a blow job?"
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"Have you ever thought about how weird cheese really is? I mean, both the word and the actual thing?"
Yoongi wants to sleep; Jimin doesn't.
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team slay by AllonsyAlonso
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
21 Jun 2016
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the one where Avengers text each other during and after the events of Civil War
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The depressing state of Ibuki Mioda's love life by Lesboplasm
Fandoms: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
05 Sep 2016
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Ibuki Mioda is single. Depressingly single. Despairingly single. Luckily, she runs into a blonde babe that makes her heart explode.
Series
- Part 1 of Dangan Ronpa modern AU
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How To Date Your Asexual by TenSpencerRiedPlease
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
08 Jan 2017
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In which Tony has a blog dedicated to talking about asexual issues, his own funny stories, and his lovely partner Bucky- who finds said blog.
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Keep Me Where The Light Is by highfaelucien
Fandoms: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
18 Jan 2017
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Prompt: ‘I’m sorry’ established relationship, set a few decades after the projected end of ACOWAR. Azriel returns late from a particularly harrowing mission. Mor finds him alone and in pieces in the training room and helps him heal. Lots of angst. Azriel’s POV. Obviously NSFW.
'Mor leads him through the quiet, dark house, the door closing behind them as silently as it had opened. It might have felt like bars slamming shut on a prison cell, or the stone wall of a crypt sealing himself inside his own tomb but it doesn’t. With Mor’s hand slipping gently into his the dark house feels like an escape and he has left his demons at the door. They are not allowed in this place that she has warded with her light and her peace. She is the only thing with the power to bring him to his knees that is permitted to touch him here.'
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Mike throws an impromptu bachelor party to celebrate his upcoming wedding to Rachel. But when Mike wakes up the next morning with one hell of a hangover, and a vague memory of the night before, how long will it take him to realize something's not quite right about his impending nuptials?
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Shiro’s an adult, okay? He’s twenty one years old, he can cook for himself (His diet consists of pop-tarts, microwaved Mac & Cheese, and peas –thank you Commander Holt for that.), he did taxes that one time (He did not, Matt did.) and he knows how to work a washing machine (Fair, that he knows.) He’s an adult and he’s responsible and mature and –
Lance’s eating his fist and he looks really passionate about it, great.
So, alright, Shiro’s totally weak for babies and their cuteness.
(That one time when the four youngsters in Team Voltron turn into babies and It's too adorable for Shiro not to 'aw' out loud. He's a man with a weakness for big eyes and chubby cheeks, let him die.)
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It was somewhere in the middle of July. It was hot—I remember because our windows were open and the smell of freshly mown grass drifted into the house. Our house.
But you were gone.
Series
- Part 4 of Rainbow of Death
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“There will be a medical examination tomorrow morning.”
Her breath hitched, and something stuck in her throat. She waited calmly, trying not to betray her frantic heartbeat. “Alright,” she managed. “Is there something you need me to do?”
A breath left him, almost a laugh, and he spun to stare at her bookshelf, like he couldn’t bear the sight of her.
“You are a virgin. Still.”
Realization cracked over her like an egg against a bowl. Her skin was tingling and numb as she took a deep breath. “Will they check for that?”
//
A smutty AU of The Auction Chapter 19 wherein Draco cannot find a magical solution to his problem.
Series
- Part 5 of Rights and Wrongs
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The Stark parents passed away in a car crash two years ago, leaving Robb and Sansa to look after their younger siblings. After two years, Robb convinces Sansa to think about herself and it results in her enrolling in a trauma care program three hours away.
Conveniently right where Jon Snow works as a part of the Westorosi Defense Department (in an elite force called the Night's Watch, which no he can't tell you about).
Robb, being the loving, protective, idiotic big brother that he is asks Jon a simple favour - to take Sansa to dinner once a week to make sure that she is looked after.
How was he to know what would happen?
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Hannibal is locked up in the Baltimore Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Supposedly he's in maximum security but he pretty much just breaks out and leaves any time it suits him.
And it suits him to break out whenever he thinks Will needs him.
I mean, they forgot Will's birthday! Come on, wouldn't you?
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Bookmarked by sebbarnes
23 Jun 2016
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Bookmarker's Notes
OMG THIS IS FUCKING CUTE
AWWWWWW