ezreal is an ass
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Ezreal felt the weight of the huge leather bag he'd strapped to his shoulders for maximum loot-transportation-efficiency and decided, he might as well drop the act. Not that it'd been a very convincing one in the first place, the act had probably been in the process of falling ever since they'd first laid eyes on each other the day before.
"You've got to be kidding me, man", Ezreal said, too exhausted to even sound angry. "Don't you have some ... I dunno, trapped baby deer or damsels in distress to protect? You know, living things that actually benefit from all this super tacky gem magic stuff? You should really tone it down on that front by the way, friendly advice."
And because it was literally impossible to get a rise out of this guy, all he did was smile and lean idly on his weapon. "It seems this site is in more immediate need of my aid than any hypothetical damsels, my friend."