doubting your own reality
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The Only Way Out is Through (Or: How to be Almost, Mostly, Okay Again) by electricteatime
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
19 Feb 2021
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Summary
"Terrible as it is, it’s easier to cling to the hope that there were good reasons for what they did. That the people who treated him well were at heart good people, and they hadn’t just been lying to him the whole time, that the small amounts of affection he’d been given were real and tangible. Even when he knows the truth somewhere deep inside it doesn’t mean he wants to acknowledge it.
But, like all things, it’s only a matter of time."
***
The only thing Dirk Gently has ever learned to do with his trauma, is shove it down as deep as it will go, lock it away, and hope that ignoring it means it isn't really there. For a while at least, it works. But when the past comes knocking looking to make amends, and pretending that none of it was as bad as it seemed isn't an option anymore, the delicate balancing act he's been practicing for years finally tips over the edge.Healing is painful, recovery isn't linear, sometimes you have to tear everything down before you can start to rebuild.
His own demons might be the scariest thing he's ever had to face, but it's not something he has to do alone, and in the end that makes all the difference.