denial of depression/ptsd
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Nate sets two alarms for the morning, twenty minutes apart (one to ignore and one to motivate, waking in layers) and lays out his running gear the night before. He runs twice, three times, then starts hitting snooze. He changes the alarm after a few weeks yet wakes up at five a.m. anyway. Lays there for a while, goes back to sleep.
For lunch, he picks at food in gray, recycled pulp-patterned cardboard containers and reheats what’s left for dinner later, and when he misjudges the time necessary to warm it all the way through, he eats it anyway - hot, cold, lukewarm in the middle. It tastes the same; of dried-out rice, or salt, or peanut butter on crackers.
He lives. Whatever that means.