assholes in love
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It's just not how he expected college to be, Mark guesses. Not the being a little in love with his best friend thing, because that's not a big deal and he's got that under control. The being friends with guys who row crew thing is a little weird, though.
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"We're not going to Foamhenge," Derek replies drily.
Stiles makes a pleading sound, peering at Derek, eyes wide.
"It's Stonehenge made out of foam," Derek argues.
"Right," Stiles agrees emphatically. "It's Stonehenge. Made out of foam." -
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Author's summary:
"We're not going to Foamhenge," Derek replies drily.
Stiles makes a pleading sound, peering at Derek, eyes wide.
"It's Stonehenge made out of foam," Derek argues.
"Right," Stiles agrees emphatically. "It's Stonehenge. Made out of foam." -
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Derek Hale had a farm. And on that farm he had a fat, useless cat, irritable goats, and fields that hadn't seen a drop of water in two months.
Then that stupid, weird kid with his stupid, weird buzz cut turned up and everything changed.
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"I like me; I don't do we."
"I matched you. I matched you good."Series
- Part 1 of Dance'verse
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[Podfic of] Go Ahead, Go Low, by synonomy by TheOneCalledEli
Fandoms: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
11 Nov 2013
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Podfic of Go Ahead, Go Low by synonomy.
"Summary: Gee's always been hard to impress, but Frank thinks this is kind of ridiculous."
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Everybody Does It, Derek. by Phantomlimb for carelesshummingbird
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
20 Dec 2013
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Stiles is being a little shit and Derek is so done with his life
Series
- Part 1 of Holy Jolly Get On My Dick
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Stiles and Scott decide to spend their last summer before college being camp monitors in the summer camp they used to attend when they were kids. Stiles aspires to rival Nathan Hale as the coolest camp monitor ever. Of course, this being Stiles' life, Nathan is getting married at the end of the summer, which leaves the most boring Hale family member in charge of camp matters - Derek Hale. Blah.
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When Derek Hale returned to the Hale house for the first time after the fire, he never expected to find a fox living in his old bedroom, never mind a talking one.
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Misha is a jerk. An unnerving, cocky bastard that constantly winds Jensen up. He can't stand the guy, really. The problem is that since Genevieve, his best friend, is dating Jared, Misha's best friend, they constantly run into each other – that first time, even literally.
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fathers and sons by M_Leigh
Fandoms: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
26 May 2014
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“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”
Everybody stared at him.
“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.
“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”
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Derek just wanted to get away from it all. He didn't want to fall into the plot for the fucking little Mermaid
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Patrick laughs, delighted, and Sharpy waggles his eyebrows, making the dumbest face Jonny has seen from in a while, which is saying something.
Jonny doesn’t have the energy or patience to point out that they’re both the same breed of crass, classless dumbass.
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The Church family starts to dip out of regular old awful and into a truly freakish realm of unbearably weird via dating and divorce.
or: how does Church/Tex even work in a universe without science fiction tropes.
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These two assholes can’t figure out what to get each other for Christmas. Their friends are absolutely no help. But it all works out. ------- Written for the Sterek Secret Santa 2014 on tumblr, for hopelesslynowasterekshipper.
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[Podfic] fathers and sons by Wuffielover
Fandoms: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
02 Jan 2015
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A Podfic of 'fathers and sons' by M_Leigh.
Author's Summary:
“I have an – interest – in Peter Maximoff,” Erik said, somewhat grudgingly, glaring. “A – familial – interest –”
Everybody stared at him.
“In that – mutantkind is one – large – family –” Erik said valiantly, if pathetically.
“Oh, shit,” Alex said. “No way. No way.”
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Do I ask too much, more than a lot by sirona
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies)
10 Mar 2015
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@jbbarnes: Modern-day protocol for a boyfriend who leaves you to wake up alone on your birthday and isn't even in the apartment the two of you share: go.
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When a routine mission goes awry, Grim tries to plan an extraction to rescue Sam. Kobin disagrees vehemently on how said extraction should be carried out. After all, no one ever accused Andriy Kobin of being sensible.
Series
- Part 1 of Hooked
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Glances into what a Churchington postwar domestic life could look like and apparently there’s just a lot of fluff if I’m in charge of imagining it.
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Their lives have nothing in common with the 90's romcom, not really, but there's just no denying that, paleontology aside, Jackson is probably Ross.
That being said, if Friends had included a little more bloodshed and violence, their lives would probably look a whole lot like it.
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Bookmarks which have used it as a tag:
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Fuck pride (pride only hurts, it never helps) by ImogenGotDrunk
Fandoms: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
03 Aug 2018
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After the android uprising, Connor becomes a permanent fixture in the DPD. That’s fine. Gavin can accept that. The dipshit’s more human than he used to be, and a decent detective to boot. Gavin can deal with him being around.
What Gavin cannot deal with is Connor’s replica; prissy, cold-eyed, and with a mouth that Gavin doesn’t know whether to punch or take between his teeth. The RK900 model has been assigned as his partner for the foreseeable future.
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Now with a little timestamps series.
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New York City Assholes by bunnymaccool
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
15 Jul 2019
- Words:
- 38,311
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 252
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The High is Worth the Pain by thegirlwhoknits for TheHatterTheory
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
28 Apr 2016
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Stiles is an emissary-in-training whose teacher has sent him to Peter for his first-level initiation tattoo. The only problem is, Stiles has a kind of embarrassing reaction to pain...
ETA: this has now grown a PLOT! And FEELINGS! Peter wants Stiles to be his Emissary (and mate). He may encounter more resistance to this than he excepts...
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When Scott gets Stiles tipsy and suggests, grinning, “We should make a tape for the Blue Moon Bakery auditions,” Stiles just giggles into his tequila.
“They don’t want me. They want some cookie cutter pretty girl so she can swoon over Derek,” he sighs.
“Not over Peter?”
Stiles shakes his head. “Girls don’t swoon over Peter, Scott. Because one, Peter’s terrifying, and two, he’s as out as you can be without putting it on a billboard.”
“You swoon over him,” Scott points out.
“That’s because I’m aroused by danger, and also he’s incredibly hot. That fucking neck, man.” Stiles flaps a hand. “Anyway. Besides the point. I can tell you now though, if I was gonna audition, it wouldn’t be the simpering bullshit everyone else sends in, that’s for sure.”
Scott senses his chance and takes it. “So show me, and I’ll film it. For funsies. We can watch it tomorrow.”
Stiles only hesitates for second, and then grins. “Why the hell not? The audition tape nobody asked for, sure.”Series
- Part 11 of Bunny's Tumblr Prompts
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He blames Lydia. He would never have even considered this if she hadn't mentioned it like it was legit. But short of falling down the rabbit hole of student debt, he doesn't have a whole lot of options. So, whatever, he can try the sugar baby thing. No one has to know.
Of course Peter has to go and ruin everything.
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Stiles had just accidentally challenged an alpha.
Oh God, and Scott had just stood by and let him do it. He was the worst best friend ever. Stiles was going to kill him. Except, oh right, the alpha was going to kill him first. Like beyond dead, ripped into tiny little pieces dead. So far dead that his dad would not be able to identify him, dead.
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All The Time In The World (But It's Never Been On Our Side) by orphan_account for coltuonome
Fandoms: Hamilton - Miranda
30 Jun 2017
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His timer must be broken after all, he decides. There is no way that he could ever fall in love with a man like Thomas Jefferson. No chance in hell.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,690
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 16
- Kudos:
- 308
- Bookmarks:
- 41
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Bookmarked by expektcle
09 Mar 2020
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
hello I love angst shower me in hurt
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Beefcake Mountain by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
31 Jul 2019
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Shortly after moving back to Beacon Hills, the left hand of the Hale Pack opened a text from a mysterious number.
"Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them."
What the f—
Series
- Part 3 of Steter Week 2019
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When Jackson’s habit of casual dating earns him the label of Casanova, his manager and best friend, Danny, suggests that he do a little damage control. Enter Stiles Stilinski, famous actor whose last two movies have apparently flopped. They already have a sarcastic flirting going on, so Jackson knows getting Stiles to fake date him is the best plan ever.
Series
- Part 35 of 2017 Prompt Challenge
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Real life isn't a movie (life doesn't make narrative sense) by dearericbittle (dutchmoxie) for literaryoblivion
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
15 Dec 2018
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Somehow accidentally insulting a hot guy in a coffee shop leads to pretending to be his boyfriend in front of a house full of werewolves. Stiles Stilinski is living his best life and making the most of his Hallmark movie moment.
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Stiles meets Derek Hale on a business trip and immediately gets attached to the man's surly, overworked attitude. Luckily - surprisingly - the attraction is mutual. Once they get back home Stiles figures that it's at least worth a shot, right? So he asks Derek out.
In which their relationship has a deadline, and Stiles gets more and more anxious the closer that deadline comes.
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Stop interrupting my grinding by rohkeutta
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
26 Aug 2018
Summary
A.ka the notorious Bitch series.
- Words:
- 33,173
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 2179
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When the Statue of Liberty slides into view, the whole ship roars. It’s deafening. Bucky throws his fist in the air and yells along with everyone else. His heart is in his throat. The Statue of goddamn Liberty. Bucky wants to climb up her robe and kiss her sour green face.
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In 1945, Bucky comes home from the war.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,389
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 581
- Kudos:
- 2650
- Bookmarks:
- 932
- Hits:
- 35619
Bookmarked by raspybee
10 Aug 2018
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
fuck this kills me. so well written. pre war pining steve and post war pining bucky is ughhhh. you will both love and bucky.
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Successfully Cheating Death (Twice) by veterization for rospeaks
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
26 Jun 2013
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Turns out, Peter's resurrection wasn't as permanent as expected. Unfortunately for Stiles, he wants to see Peter live.
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Stiles doesn't mean to sneak into the Hale wedding, and he certainly doesn't mean to have cliche coat-room sex with the bride's uncle, but what had happened, happened, and it wasn't like he could just leave. At least, not until he got to have some of that cake.
Based off the tumblr prompt "I crashed your family member’s wedding for the free food but hi there”
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Bookmarked by sotheytellme
21 May 2018
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
“Dude. How long have we been legit dating? Like, how long has it taken me to actually notice that we are in a fully consenting adult relationship with feelings in which you don’t actually need to bribe me to spend time with you?”
Peter blinks and then smirks, looking way too self-satisfied for Stiles’ comfort.
“I was wondering when you’d finally come to your senses.” He says smugly, and Stiles resists the urge to punch him because now that would be domestic abuse.
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Hotline Bling by minzimpression
Fandoms: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
25 Jul 2016
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Hux wants a dick pic from his recent hook-up. Unfortunately, he texts the wrong number.
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"Save it, Rodney. Fuck off. Go be a beam of light."
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Your heart's sudden but inevitable betrayal by WhatIfImaMermaid
Fandoms: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek
04 Dec 2017
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Every once in while, when he’s feeling the perfect combination of nostalgic and impish, he asks Spock about that night. Most times Spock just smiles that non-smile of his into the curve of Jim's neck, and says nothing.
Or:
They first meet in a bar. In San Francisco. After one of Jim’s epic brawls.
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Peter Hale has a tension headache building behind his eyes, a nephew who has picked the wrong time to have a crisis of conscience, and a bound and gagged college freshman in the trunk of his car as he speeds north along Highway 101. This is not how he intended his weekend to go, but Peter is nothing if not adaptable.
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Harry's too naughty at work.
Series
- Part 55 of 2017 December works