1 - 20 of 65 Works in Twilight Bashing

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    The Wolves and the vampires are about one undercooked steak away from civil war, bodies are dropping all over Seattle, and Isabella Swan is increasingly less certain of the immortal fate she thought she wanted when dreams of a life as enticing as it is terrifying to begin to show her glimpses of another way.
    Teenagers are being snatched from city streets, and two young hunters are forced to confront a tremendous loss in their pasts that could change the course of their futures.
    Bella has to face that she might not be who she thinks she is, Charlie might not be who he says he is, and eternity might not be all it’s cracked up to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,350
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    168
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    2463
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Avidan, Idony, Noah, and Enel all hang out together by the river.

    Written for Day 6 of TSE Appreciation Week 2020! I picked both themes :)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    758
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    10
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Child Enel’s freakout when Velvare bleeds out, from Idony’s POV.

    Written for Day 4 of TSE Appreciation Week 2020! I picked Theme 1 :)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    667
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    24
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Ok, so I wanted to create an un-fan fiction. TWILIGHT IS ACTUALLY A BITTER ENEMY. This is a more realistic version of twilight, where I? you? Bella? reacts like a normal person. This is probably going to be even more fast paced than usual, and also not meant to offend anyone. I am not critiquing you for liking Twilight. I don't understand it, but you do you. Anyway, read on if you want to.

    FYI: The first bit will be copied and pasted, and then edited, because there's no reason to do any major rewrites up to the point of Bella becoming magically popular. I won't subject you to any major atrocities. (hopefully)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,876
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    413
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Twilight is dumb for many reasons, one of them being that I was expected to believe that NO ONE even talked to the Cullens at school except Bella? It was high school! There had to be some social interaction! Especially poor lonesome Edward, who didn't come already partnered-up like the rest of the crew. Nope, I refuse to accept that he had zero amicable encounters.

    So, here's someone I wrote for him. One of those partial friendships that just happen naturally at school. If she read Twilight, she would also think it was dumb. But, like me, sometimes she just gets caught up thinking about it...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,926
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    381
  6. Tags
    Summary

    In which Renesmee Carlie Cullen embraces her humanity and chooses her own path in life.

    A series of snapshots in no particular order. Heavily influenced by the sporking of Twilight at Das_Sporking on LiveJournal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,193
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1310
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A pair of foster parents send their adopted son Luke Craver (no, that's not his actual name) to a summer camp in the hopes of him making new friends outside his family. The summer camp in question just happens to be Camp Campbell.

    Takes place in an AU where "Parent's Day" never happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,885
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    434
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Elijah never thought that his beloved human, Isabel Petrova would be alive, but yet Esther had made it clear that she was in fact alive and living in a small town known as Forks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,811
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    2508
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Loki and Thor get married, and then the wedding night...

    This is a short one-shot set immediately after Loki's Redemption, Thor's Heart. It will make the most sense if you read that first but if you're just here for the smut that works too. :)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,874
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    176
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    3452
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Eye twitching, Keith continues to stare incredulously at Lance before finally lowering his weapon--as if not finding him worth the time anymore. Lance relaxes at the sight. “I really hate myself right now for not staking you when I had the chance.”

    “I get it, Keith, I’m too pretty to kill. It happens to the best of ‘em.”

    “How’d you know my name?” Keith replies stupidly. Too surprised to be cautious.

    Narrowing his eyes, Lance makes a show of walking in a circle around Keith, gaze roaming up and down Keith’s body. “Vampire hunter? Terrible mullet? Perfect ass? Even more perfect kill record? Sweetheart, every vampire in this city knows about you. Plus we’re taking calculus together.”

    (or your classic vampire x vampire hunter modern AU)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,265
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    835
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    5677
  11. Tags
    Summary

    There's no way Michael's riding bitch.
    Not even for David.
    Okay maybe just for David.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,520
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    841
  12. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    511
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    241
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Werewolves are slowly taking over the town of South Park, and it looks like the goths and the vamp kids are the only ones who can stop this outbreak. But when one of the goths gets attacked by the head werewolf, she claims she's fine. But when her friends start to notice that Henrietta's behavior has become more...wolfish, they have to find out who the head werewolf is, or risk her becoming one of them!
    The suspect list keep piling up, and it doesn't help when a hipster kid is getting in their way every chance he gets! Can Pete, Michael, and Firkle destroy the head werewolf? Or will the head werewolf destroy them?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,342
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    494
  14. Tags
    Summary

    A few years Post-TJM. Arnold sends an upsetting letter to Helga. Teen drama and Teen angst. That's it, that's the fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    912
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    347
  15. Tags
    Summary

    At one point, someone said: "I’m laughing my ass off at the vampire symbolism in “Here’s to Never Growing Up” by Avril Lavigne, how did I not notice this sooner"

    Someone else said: "wait what"

    The first person replied with this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,033
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    115
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “What the fuck?!” This is some Matrix bullshit. How dare he? “How dare you! You hit yourself in the face with that ice block right now, Victor Fuckanov!”

    He stops and peers at me like he’s still trying to figure out what I said. Aha! Apparently all you need to to trap a Russian supermodel is stun ‘em with a tricky thought. “My name is Victor Stepanov.” He informs me sincerely. “I am not going to do that.”

    When I sigh, a little part of my soul leaves my body but I summon it back with a groan. He’s just never gonna get it. “You’re useless. Give me that,” I take the Sunnyboy back off him. A quick slurp gets all the melted stuff. No use wasting a perfectly good ninety-five cents.

    ===

    Life sucks for Axel Anderson, a gay boy culturally stranded in a poxy little outback town surrounded by bogans and neanderthal classmates like Mitchell Linardopolous. Not to mention that his best friend Sharmaine's just shipped off to ballet school in town (the skinny bitch)! Just when things can't get any worse, some Russian weirdo with pointy cheekbones turns up and he's like, OBSESSED. Can the whole world just fuck off? Honestly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,240
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    112
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “So…can I ask some questions?” Tony asked.

    “Ask, it doesn’t bother me. Much.”

    “Garlic?”

    “Love it.”

    “Good thing since it runs in this Italian blood of mine that you seem to like so much. Um, stake in the heart?”

    “That would ruin anyone’s day.”

    Tony grinned. “Coffin?”

    “No back support. Incredibly uncomfortable.”

    "You don't sparkle, do you?"

    ****
    Stephen is dealing with some changes after he's trapped in another dimension. Tony handles it better than he thought he would.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,307
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    535
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    6617
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Doom has a problem. A vampire problem. And he turns to the only person he can think of who can help him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,315
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    1976
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Vampire Luke/Rey AU

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,483
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1765
  20. Tags
    Summary

    I never gave much thought to how I would die- and frankly I didn’t give a fuck. To be honest, I never thought dating a clumsy nerd would lead to this.

    Across the room his soulless, red eyes peered at me through the darkness. He smiled an unnervingly pleasant smile, as if we were just sitting down to a nice cup of tea- instead of planning to rip my fucking head off.

    It was a pretty shitty way to die. It was all the fucking nerds fault. I can’t really blame him though; wait yes I can. Although he was just doing what he thought was right -emphasis on thought- he fucked up. He fucked up big time.

    God damn it. None of this would have ever happened if I hadn’t have moved here, if I’d stayed in Arizona like Troye had wanted me to. Fucking Sporks. Who names a town Sporks anyway? Whatever though. I can’t say I’m too happy about my impending doom but I guess it has been a good ride. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's unreasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. I can still complain about it though.

    His smile remained unfaltering as he lumbered forward, undeterred, to kill me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,321
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1392

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