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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of drabbles, long and short, about the 2016 adaptation of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,297
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    79
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk tells Todd about how he started wearing women's underwear, their relationship only gets stronger the more open they are.

     

    (note: will delete transphobic slurs so don't bring that near my work pls, this is just about wearing what you like)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,857
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    98
  3. Tags
    Summary

    AU where Dirk’s treatment in Blackwing was a little worse and his escape a lot different

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,984
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    548
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda looked filthy; there were marks and spots all over her, some of which looked like blood. None of it seemed to be hers, though, and she was wearing the biggest smile he’d seen her have in years.

    She pulled out of the hug and grinned at him, but Todd was a bit worried that without her arms to support him, he might collapse from shock.

    Amanda’s eyes went to Dirk, and she pointed up at him, still smiling.

    “Is this who ‘we’ are? I was wondering who you meant when you said that.”

    Without hesitation Dirk’s hand shot out and shook Amanda’s vigorously. He was beaming. Todd squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the headache he’d been carefully cultivating for the past fourteen hours start develop a conjoined twin.

    “Uh, yeah. This is Dirk. He’s my… well, he’s Dirk.”

    “I’m his friend.” Dirk said, as if Todd had simply forgotten to add that part. Todd was already too annoyed to correct him.

    Star Wars AU with possible shipping

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,189
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    945
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "It's very easy to act like a jerk, and then say, 'Well, I'm a jerk so that's that.' But it's not like... being a bloody werewolf, is it?"

    The werewolf AU that no one asked for. Takes place during 1.05 "Very Erectus."

    Please note the rating jump, however, the porny bits are easily avoided if that's not your cup of tea. More info on what to skip can be found in author's note of explicit chapters.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,705
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    835
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda and the Rowdy 3 work at a sex shop when the AC breaks on the hottest day of summer. What follows is truly the heat's fault.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    203
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Todd had his fair share, of course. It had been a rough year, and there was no shortage of crap to fuel his subconscious. Many a night he had fumbled into wakefulness, Suzie Boreton’s laughter wrapping around him like barbed wire as he slithered backwards through time.

    ...

    But Dirk’s nightmares were worse, in their own way, because there was no sound, just the tightening of Dirk’s hand in Todd’s grip, the hushed gasps, and the endless, silent tears. 

    ---

    Or, Dirk is broken as heck, so why not have him cry it out? That's it. That's the whole story. You can all go home now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,378
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    375
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Songfic requested by my gf @ostrichbacca on Tumblr. Brotzly + Walking on Sunshine by Katrina & the Waves

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    259
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    160
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The Rowdy 3 get lost, Todd is overprotective, for some reason there's a golden egg and Amanda just wants to cuddle up to Martin in peace. Takes place after season 2.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,068
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    155
  10. Tags
    Summary

    la CIA ha deciso di riacchiappare i suoi fuggitivi soggetti del progetto Blackwing. Ma stavolta c’è una differenza. O più di una. Comunque sia, stavolta un gruppetto costituito da un ex bugiardo patentato, una punk entusiasta per l’avventura, una guardia del corpo giusto un poco borderline, un hacker che sospetta di essere seriamente in preda ad un grave caso di sindrome di Stoccolma, uno dei progetti in questione ancora uccel di bosco, e altri eventuali alleati, sono decisi a recuperare i propri amici (o potenziali futuri colleghi. O ex-sequestratori omicidi seriali. O neo compagni di gang. Insomma, quello che è.). Beh, o almeno a provarci… giusto? Ma non importa, perché tanto succederà solo e solamente ciò che l’universo vorrà che succeda. Poco ma sicuro.

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    116,713
    Chapters:
    19/42
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    47
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "We should make the most of this situation." Dirk says.

    "What? Like have sex?" Todd says, snorting.

    Dirk goes rather red at this suggestion, and kicks Todd in response. "Or I could kick you out and use the leg room." He says.

     

     

    (A college au in which Todd and Dirk skirt around their feelings for each other because they're dipshits)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    661
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Just a place to dump all my prompt fills from tumblr that aren't long enough to be stand alone fics without clogging up the feed.

    1. “Let’s take a deep breath…” (Brotzly)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    955
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    130
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After Todd and Dirk take a trip out for breakfast, their meal takes an unexpected turn...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,662
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    546
  14. Tags
    Summary

    How Todd got four people with bullet wounds to the hospital in an ambulance straight out of the ‘60s.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,404
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    237
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Todd Brotzman is one of many weirdos that form a squad. These weirdos have managed to survive until their senior year. And then the school's annual coffee house happens, and Todd does A Thing.

    Also Silas has a beautiful singing voice.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,274
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    281
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk was not a coward.

    He really wasn’t, despite the way others tended to mock and harass him, instinctively realising he wouldn’t retaliate. It was true he didn’t react well to violence and aggression, but avoiding potential harm hardly made him craven, especially when it so regularly sought him out. And hiding crouched inside a wardrobe with his arms over his head and his eyes firmly squeezed shut definitely didn’t make him cowardly. Especially when faced with one of the most psychotic alphas he’d ever met.

    “Come on out Icarus,” Priest cooed, his tone soft and terrifyingly menacing.

    He was too close. Far too close.

    There was absolutely no way Dirk would voluntarily go to Priest, even if it meant the agent might show him some small measure of leniency. Nope, he was just going to stay exactly where he was, huddled in a silent ball of misery and, rather heroically in his opinion, not break into hysterical sobs of terror.

    Because hello, not a coward.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,139
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1510
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk doesn't know what to do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,036
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    335
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “It’s too late.”

    Dirk opens his eyes.

    He wished it wasn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,058
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    333
  19. Tags
    Summary

    АУ по отношению к финалу первого сезона. Дирк, Тодд и Фара тихо-мирно открыли агентство. Ну, как тихо-мирно? Ведь с ними всегда что-нибудь случается. Особенно с Дирком. В первую очередь с Дирком.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    9,581
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Kudos:
    28
    Hits:
    164
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Everything had (sort of) settled after the Cardenas case. Until another of Blackwing's ex-subjects drops by and sends Dirk and Todd for a loop.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,989
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    410

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