1 - 20 of 32 Works in Todd Brotzman is Bad at Feelings

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Todd wasn't expecting Dirk to kiss him goodbye on the cheek before leaving, especially when he was only trying to say Dirk forgot his jacket. Does this mean they're together now? Or is this just Dirk being Dirk?

    In which kisses are had, and neither polar bears nor Dirk are exactly as they seem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    270
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The Holistic Detective Agency has a new case. At least Dirk thinks they do. Nobody's hired them, no obvious crime was committed, but things sure are happening. And there's Dirk's friendship with Todd, which has taken a turn for the terribly confusing. Stumbling from one disaster to the next, Dirk tries to make sense of it all with, well, arguable efficiency.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,431
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    920
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After cases, Dirk always sleeps much longer than Todd thinks is normal. Not that he's worried, obviously. He just thinks it's weird.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    846
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    133
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Todd tries to have a word with Dirk about an ongoing tendency to break into his room through the window despite the fact that they literally live in the same building.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    385
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Despite not having put their hands on their hips, brought their knees in tight or engaged in any pelvic thrusting (much to Todd's disappointment), Dirk and Todd are doing the time warp again. And again. And by 'time warp', they mean 'getting randomly dumped in various time periods without so much as a "by your leave"'. Time travel is surprisingly rude, that way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,422
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    293
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Mona just wants her friends to be happy. They like each other.
    So with Bart's help, she wants to get them together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,428
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    393
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Todd confronts Assistent after he starts dating Dirk. It escalates from there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,024
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    281
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Todd has accepted that Dirk doesn't love him back and decided to keep it a secret forever. But then their car breaks down and Todd is alone with Dirk and he realizes it's hard to keep a secret from his best friend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,487
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    535
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Breakfast isn't a badass meal.

     

    Todd used to make Amanda guilt pancakes. Dirk would like these pancakes, minus the guilt.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,386
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    632
  10. Tags
    Summary

    As they investigate a suspect, Dirk and Todd find themselves in a series of situations they didn't plan to find themselves in.

    Rated teen and up just to stay on the safe side, I'll keep you updated in the chapter notes if there's anything specific that needs to be warned about.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,128
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    264
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “How did this happen?” Farah looks vaguely suspicious of a sudden influx of aesthetically pleasing flowers, which, if Todd’s being honest, is the sort of reason that she’s his best friend. “Did Mona do it?”

    “Nope.” Dirk holds up his wrist where a silver bracelet made up of tiny stares jangles a little bit. “We stayed up late watching Kitchen Nightmares and she decided she’d like to come in to work for a bit today. Couldn’t have been her.”

    Farah’s eyes narrow and her hand goes to the gun on her belt.

    “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Todd says quickly, holding up his hands. “I did it, don’t shoot any of the vases, okay, I don’t want to have to go out and get new ones.”

     

    Where Todd finds out what flowers mean, where he does his best to express feelings without having to verbalize it, and where I write the absolutely most tooth rotting fluff I have ever put to pen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,651
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1031
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Growing up in Blackwing meant that Dirk missed out on a lot of holidays. But now he's with Todd, he's starting to experience them.
    This year, Dirk has a lot to be thankful for.
    Fourth of July

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,834
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    759
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In a future world, the a superior group of people, the Elite, try to expand their population. Once every age group turns 21 in the Elite, they are to chose a Common, one of the group of lesser people, to wed. That person is trained to eventually become one of the Elite, thus expanding the population.

    Stuart Dakin never cared about the system. He was never going to change his habits of sleeping around with anyone relatively attractive, and he was cure his Chosen would understand that.

    Blaine Anderson was ecstatic about the system. He wanted his opportunity to chose someone he could fall in love, and who would love him back. He couldn't look away from a pair of gorgeous blue eyes.

    Dirk Gently needed the system. He was going to use it to connect to his childhood friend who cut off all contact at a young age.

    What happens when these three storylines combine? What will happen to the system itself?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,982
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    515
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Todd thinks its weird when the CIA get involved in him meeting his soulmate. After one bizarre day, they exchange a few letters, and he gets on with his life, until he finds himself kidnapped and used to persuade Svlad to behave.
    Svlad is delighted to be allowed to write to his soulmate, but when Todd is dragged unwillingly into the Blackwing base, he starts to realise that this was a trap from the start.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,448
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1762
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When the kitten-shark makes a mess of Dirk's apartment, he goes to the only person he can for help - Todd. Will living in close quarters bring the two of them even closer or will it split them up for good?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,387
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    755
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When Todd finds himself burning on the bathroom floor of a restaurant, he isn't entirely sure what to do. Neither does Dirk, who can only learn from his own experiences with the Rowdy Three. They end up finding a solution of sorts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,822
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    927
  17. Tags
    Summary

    A year, a month, and two weeks before Dirk Gently proposed to Todd Brotzman, they started dating.
    Dirk and Todd pretend to be a couple on a date to get information for their case. It turns into a real date with some help from the universe.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,938
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    37
    Hits:
    422
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Based on a post from tumblr user @princessparadoxical.
    Then he sucked a breath, overreacting a little bit, although if that was because of the drinks or just Dirk being Dirk, he couldn't tell. "We have to sing together"
    Christmas is a magic time of the year, so it was no surprise that Dirk managed to get him into a new tradition that Todd would soon learn to love. But who knows what else could bloom from it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,560
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    152
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of oneshots where Dirk shows his hidden talent for singing. None of the stories are connected and are made to stand on their own, and all of the songs are sung by Samuel Barnett (links are provided).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,664
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    337
  20. Tags
    Summary

    People's nightmares are manifesting in the middle of the day, and Dirk's delighted to be investigating. But the cause of the nightmares is a blast from the past, another Blackwing subject that hasn't been seen since Dirk and the Rowdies escaped.

    And they're being hunted.

    (Based on prompt 33 of the DGHDA SpookFest, thank you so much for organising, Kieren!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    780

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