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    Summary

    “I dreamed about one of the others I knew in Blackwing,” [Dirk] replied. “Mona Wilder. She’s a shapeshifter, sort of. She wants us to find someone.”

    “Wait,” Todd hissed back. “You mean to tell me prophetic visions are a thing you get, too?”

    “Rarely,” Dirk huffed in exasperation, “and it’s not like they’re ever useful. In this dream, Mona told me to find some boy.”

    Todd was undoubtedly pulling his best confused face. He tugged until Dirk rolled to face him.

    “Find a boy?” Todd asked. “Any boy? Would she be glad to know you found me?”

    [7th part added 9/23/18, in continued response to kelspots's request for a transition into S2 events. For anon, who wanted a S1 fix-it.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,720
    Chapters:
    7/10
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    158
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1117
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of oneshots for Dirk Gently - summaries for each in the beginning notes.
    Chapter 10: Indigo skies - Dirk and Todd see in the sunrise together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,505
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    728
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "Priest leaned in close to me, his breath hot and moist against my ear.

    'We are going to have so much fun.'"

    Todd and Dirk are captured by Blackwing

    This is my first fic so it's probably horrible but you won't know unless you try, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,651
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    19
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The Universe doesn't want to be fixed. Just leave her alone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,472
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    27
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t know what I would do, Dirk, if you got captured. So-- So don’t apologize for being a good friend, okay? Because you are. You’re the best friend anyone could ever hope for, and Mona knows you’re coming for her. She knows. And she’ll be okay until we get there.”

    -
    They're on a rescue mission to save Mona Wilder from Blackwing, and they can do anything so long as they have each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,826
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    103
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk sucked in his breath, obviously apprehensive. “Was there anything else unusual about it?”

    “Well, the whole thing was messed-up,” Todd said, trying to downplay it, “but it did something to our eyes. Changed the shapes of our pupils? Like—like a bad trip, or something.”

    “Not that I have much to go on,” Dirk said shakily, “but I feel like I’m having one right now.”

    [Another that can be read as a stand-alone, probably, but follows its precedents in Glow. Fills this prompt.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    41
    Hits:
    179
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It isn't that he wants to punish himself. It's just a matter of supply.

    Can be read as gen or pre-relationship or maybe relationship. Body horror is pararibulitis attack typical.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,683
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    90
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Todd got up, leaving Dirk to flop face-first, softly whimpering, into the warm spot he’d vacated.

    “Hey, wait a minute,” Todd said, pressing the back of his hand to Dirk’s cheek. “Are you sick?”

    “No,” Dirk whined into the pillow, swallowing painfully. “I’m just disinclined to be vertical due to—” he rolled over, finding that his limbs felt heavy “—a bunch of random aches and pains.”

    [Totally readable as a stand-alone, but definitely follows on from Our Own Thing and Dark Days, Wild Nights.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    264
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Lieutenant Todd Brotzman has been serving aboard the USS Ridgely for a year when he meets Lieutenant Dirk Gently.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,311
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    849
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The universe is contagious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,842
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    62
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Todd nodded into the curve of Dirk’s neck, his next sob breaking on a short, hiccupping laugh.

    “I’ve gotta tell Amanda about this next time the crew rolls through town. She’ll appreciate it.”

    Dirk smiled at that, giving Todd a slight poke in the side, which only made him laugh harder.

    “Plus, this was totally on my bucket list,” Dirk said, wiping Todd’s eyes when he pulled back. “Have a dramatic meltdown in the middle of a sprawling American superstore. Epic.”

    “You’re not the one having the meltdown, so it doesn’t count,” Todd pointed out. “You’ll need to have your own meltdown.”

    [Companion piece/sequel to Our Own Thing, but readable as a stand-alone. A response to this prompt and this prompt all in one.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    376
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Amity Pierce joins in on the Holistic adventures with the eccentric detective Dirk Gently and her high school friend Todd Brotzman. This is a BBCA's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency fanfiction. (Adventure/Sci-fi/Mystery/Romance.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,165
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    247
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t know why I bother,” Farah offered, hoping Todd would join her in self-deprecation.

    “I’m starting to ask myself the same question,” he said slowly, flashing her a lopsided grin.

    Starting?” Dirk scoffed, punching Todd in the arm. “It’s about two months too late for that, and you sampled the goods. No take-backsies.”

    [Not related to my other fic 'verse—except that character backstories are the same, and that incidental details turn up in different configurations.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    804
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Todd’s focal point slid slightly to the left. To a pair of blue eyes, crinkled at the edges in a smile. A wash of pale skin, dotted with perfect freckles. A bright outfit that clung just right to the person who wore it. With that thought, an intense rush of adrenaline shot through Todd’s system, and his eyes flew open.

    Holy shit.

    He would rather have been kissing Dirk.

    Season 2 AU that’s not exactly an AU.

    While on the run with Farah, Todd realizes he has feelings for Dirk. Meanwhile, Dirk is in Blackwing, thinking about Todd every waking minute. Once reunited, they begin to act on their feelings. Cue season-long butterfly effect.

    All those Brotzly moments you hoped were romantic? Now they are, and then some. All your favorite scenes? They might be included. They might be expanded upon. They might be a bit different. Or they might be wiped out of existence and replaced with something new. You'll have to read to find out.

    Features all your faves being lovable losers, as usual.

    Written for the DGHDA Big Bang 2018.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,726
    Chapters:
    5/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    408
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Todd arrives for his third year at Hogwarts. Amanda arrives for her first. The affectionately, and reluctantly, named “Gryffindor Squad”, comprised of Farah Black, Tina Teventino, Sherlock Hobbs and Todd Brotzman himself, mean to make their mark on Hogwarts. That's a lie, they mostly just want to pass their classes and not get expelled, but that's not how good stories work.

    Dirk Gently is entirely the strangest boy he's ever met, but Todd's strangely okay with this. Todd is very punk rock and doesn't have feelings for cute Hufflepuffs. This is another lie.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,345
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    291
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Jaws chirped and dashed out of the kitchenette just as Todd finished tying his belt. She snagged the hem of his robe and climbed, dead-weight at intervals, until Todd could stick the bulb in his sole remaining empty pocket and sling her over his shoulder. Jaws hung there, purring.

    “Baby girl,” he whispered into her fur, horrified at how contagious Dirk’s epithets had proved. “Wanna help me find something? I probably lost it, and Dirk will never forgive me.”

    Mrrr, Jaws trilled, which was her standard response to anything out of Todd’s mouth.

    “Yeah, okay,” Todd sighed, offloading her on his desk once they’d reached it. “Thought not.”

    [Anons and commenters keep prompting additions to this. These are a string of outtakes off the end of Home Is Where It Starts.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,000
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    77
    Hits:
    504
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “While I’m not entirely down with the Grease reference, I appreciate the sentiment,” Dirk told Amanda. He tilted his chin up against Todd’s shoulder, looking Todd in the eye as best he could from such an awkward angle. “I’ve cracked what’s happening case-wise.”

    “You mean not happening case-wise?” Todd asked, worming his hand behind Dirk so he could put his arm around him. “None of these leads are viable. Even the realtor’s pest-control thing was a first-three-months standard courtesy. I checked with other clients of theirs.”

    “We’re trying too hard,” Dirk said. “We had two major cases come so fast and furious that we’re expecting the next one to behave the same way. What if it doesn’t? What if the most pressing concern is the one we’ve stumbled into by accident, but nonetheless agreed upon unanimously?”

    “I didn’t agree to you nerds putting a ring on it,” said Amanda, but in jest. “I have concerns.”

    “Yeah, well,” said Todd, sticking the correct earbud in his left ear, “unanimous means two.”

    *
    ...or: Todd gets no fewer than four different versions of one shovel talk, and he's fucking sick of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    77
    Hits:
    467
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk couldn’t stand to see Todd this way any more than Todd could stand the reverse. He drew the neglected handkerchief from inside his coat and used it to dab at Todd’s cheeks.

    “Wendimoor very much happened,” he said, “and for quite a lot of necessary reasons.”

    Todd cracked a smile and almost laughed. “Like setting solid relationship role-models for us?”

    Dirk nodded, realizing he hadn’t even thought of that. “If they can weather a war, so can we.”

    “Panto’s and Silas’s parents will do a better job of communicating post-clusterfuck than mine.”

    “Count your blessings,” Dirk said, tucking the handkerchief in Todd’s pocket. “Mine are gone.”

    “Wait a minute,” Todd said, pulling Dirk in by the shoulders, wide-eyed. “Your parents are?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    600
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk pushed past [Farah], taking the remaining stairs two at a time. He opened the front door and stepped onto the porch, only to halt in his tracks at the sight of a familiar van.

    Amanda stood with her elbow propped on the mailbox, leisurely smoking. She saluted him.

    “Hey, so,” she said, taking a final drag before pitching the joint, “congrats on accomplishing what every horny, stoned groupie between here and Chicago used to dream of.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    687
  20. Tags
    Summary

    At half past eleven, Dirk’s mobile lit up with a text, and Todd mumbled that his stomach hurt.

    Dirk recognized Farah’s number, but the message was hidden. “I’ll fetch us something,” he said.

    Todd watched him dress, amused at Dirk's perfunctory job of it. “Commando, huh? No socks?”

    “Shut up,” Dirk said, half-buttoning his wrinkled shirt. “Who needs pants to make a sandwich?”

    “But you're wearing—” Todd huffed into the pillows, remembering “—trousers. Never mind.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,800
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    102
    Hits:
    665

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