1 - 20 of 23 Works in Thorin Is Not Amused

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Liddy, a modern girl who’s going through a rough patch and is just trying to have a nice afternoon in the park, dang it, finds herself dropped smack into the middle of the Battle of the Five Armies. After some well-meant meddling, she's left to pick up the pieces—and contend with a certain sexily cranky dwarrow.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,621
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    360
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Instead of meeting Tauriel, the company of Thorin Oakensheild meet Arden, an elf who has been cast out by his kin. after saving the dwarves lives, they return the favor after Bilbo pulls the injured and half drowned elf out of the river. Everything seems fine exept instead of Kili getting shot, Arden hides the fact that the arrow had found a different mark.

    this story basically is the gay version of what I wish happened in the movie (eccept with way more injury, pain, and basic angst)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,284
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    544
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "It was night, and their burglar [...] was sleeping.
    In the morning they would leave the Shire, on their way to Erebor; the time had come.
    First, however -"

    Fíli and Kíli were never supposed to come along on the quest. When they show up at bag end, Thorin demands an explanation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,518
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    245
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It´s a dwarf custom to claim a partner through the bite, a bite that leaves marks of teeth and unconsciously the reader bites Thorin in a fight and accidentally becomes married to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,909
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1784
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Leafs tumble from the tree tops. Some are caught in the wind and brought far off places. Others land upon the earth and become brown and dead. A series of Hobbit oneshots for the ideas that refuse to die. (refer to each chapter for warnings and summaries! All my dwarven words are from the wonderful Dwarrow Scholar, blessings upon him. These ARE Adoptable so long as we are informed and credited of course. WE WANT TO READ THEM)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,084
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    322
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    4978
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Family meant everything to her, and Rose was willing to sacrifice everything to save them. In doing so, her selfless act is rewarded with another chance at life. Will there be happiness for her? Can she sacrifice even more of herself in order to help save Middle Earth? Or will her choices cause only more pain and suffering? The only thing she can do is try.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,748
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    821
  7. Tags
    Summary

    What if there was such a thing as a time-changer? A being that can bend time and space to fit all that is right? With her voice. In this semi-alternate universe, trying to settle in her new life and new body per say, for the thirteenth time, she is visited by an old friend with a pointy hat and a long beard of grey. Will she listen to the proposition he has for her or will her past sorrows make her stay where she is?
    I have no idea what I am doing, please enjoy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,993
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    321
  8. Tags
    Summary

    After leaving celebrations early, following the success of the great battle to reclaim Erebor, you stumble across a certain pair of princes, both completey drunk and barely capable of coherent conversation.

    In a valiant effort to guide them both to your chambers, so they can sleep off the effects of copious amounts of ale, you end up enduring a series of drunken antics along the way...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,797
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    282
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2555
  9. Tags
    Summary

    where Dís' husband died before Kili was born, and she sleeps with Glorfindel, bc he's totes into spontaneous marriage

    or,

    Kíli is a dwarven peredhil and gets his sense of humour from his father.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,838
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    226
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2142
  10. Tags
    Summary

    This came to mind when i first heard the Pentatonix version of Hallelujah.

    Hobbits sing a song for the new widow. It's tradition to make people cry.
    Everyone has a part.
    Except Thorin.
    Thorin and his shield.
    That may talk.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,043
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    698
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Frerin has gotten it into his head that hobbits are rather special and naturally he has to share these thoughts with Thorin.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,088
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    370
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    4541
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Hobbits are a endangered species they hold a party every year after the Fell winter of marital age adult hobbits to try and encourage their people to have children. Inviting people outside their race to attend. This year Dis got an invitation from a desperate Thane who worries for his niece the then current Jarl.
    Rated M to not get yelled at.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,620
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    4050
  13. Tags
    Summary

    If Dis had not been a widow, Thorin would have told her to make some new children while he ‘rid’ her of her old ones. “Better luck next time,” He would say. Or perhaps “When once you don’t succeed, try try again”.

    And to think, this wasn’t even the worst of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,999
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    191
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2017
  14. Tags
    Summary

    It had to be done!!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,610
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    3063
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Imagine the Durin family's reaction to the love bites Kíli left on you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,710
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    614
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin was a grown man and he could manage things. However, you were quite shocked when Thorin finally came to the dining room. His nose, beard and even his neck were covered with blood which was dripping through his fingers onto his tunic.
    “Won’t anyone fucking help me?!” Thorin’s angry yell muffled by his hands made Oin ran to him with the first thing he grabbed – a tablecloth he was about to put on the table.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,576
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1961
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin doesn't feel bad about dying. He doesn't exactly die peacefully, but the moment his eyes slipped shut he just accepts it.

    After all, what can he do to change it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2319
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin notices that his pony is better at majestic hair-tossing than he is. This will not stand!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    412
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The one where Bilbo is possessive and everyone finds out.

    (or the Holy Shit We're Not Dead Sex that the BotFA should have ended with)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,382
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    4343
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin fetches his boyfriend's coffee. His boyfriend is a bit of a prat, really.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,054
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    684

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